#fanficition
Ship: Hangman Adam Page x Fawna Rose (FOC), seen previously in Some Real Cowboy Shit (NC-17), and Stay the Night(NC-17)
Summary: Directly following the episode of Dynamite which aired on January 12th, Adam is awake at night thinking over the message left by Lance Archer and what it means for his future championship reign.
Rating: General? I think? Nothing really happens. Just some chatting.
Warnings: Lots of angst, no proof-reading this one-shot (it’s getting thrown into the wild with the same chaos with which it was born - in that I mean I got really emotional about adam and suddenly wrote this out of nowhere)
Length: 1,863 wordsAvailable below the cut
Chapter 3: Won’t Go Home Without You
Every night you cry yourself to sleep
thinking: “why does this happen to me?”
—
Ring, ring, ring…
“I’m here.”
Silence encompasses the room and the only sound that can barely be heard is the sound of their collective breathing. Aly presses her phone as close as she can to her ear, believing that in some universe it’s her way of getting closer to Aliya.
This had been turning into a bad habit. Calling each other and not saying anything. Neither of them knew what to say, every time Aly thought she knew it got caught in her throat and she felt like choking.
She assumed it was the same for Aliya. But, here they were. Almost everyday at the same time on the dot.
Aly or Aliya’s phone would ring and they didn’t even have to look at their caller ID’s to know who it was.
They never said anything, sometimes it was a “how are you?” or a “I’m well”, but otherwise complete silence beyond that. Aly didn’t know what it was, just sitting in those few moments and knowing Aliya was on the other end of the line.
The girl had broken her damn heart and yet the best part of her day was knowing this phone call would happen.
Knowing Aliya was there, knowing she was alive, breathing, listening. Yet despite all of that there was still a gaping hole in Aly’s chest and she was determined to fix it.
She was determined to not let them fall back into the pattern that they went through four years ago, she wasn’t going to let Aliya slip through her fingers, they could make it she knew they could they both just had to believe it and she wasn’t sure if Aliya did.
“I’m with Masha, in Moscow. I’m safe.”
Aly swallows hard, her fingers gripping her phone tighter as she brings a hand to her mouth. Aliya’s voice floods her ears and into her brain, making her feel like she can’t breathe a second longer without her.
“Y-You are?”
She can feel Aliya tense on the other line like she has more to say and Aly is on the edge of her seat, about to fall or stay and Aliya is controlling all of it.
“I…I don’t know why I’m here.”
Aliya’s voice comes out small, withered, like its been through so much and just making the effort to say these words to Aly is slowly killing her.
In a way she does know why she’s in Masha’s kitchen, thousands of miles from America, but a part of her also cannot bring herself to realize her current situation.
“Then come home, just come home.”
Aly doesn’t want her voice to sound desperate but she can’t help it, everything about her lately just screams desperate but she doesn’t care, this is what she amounts to without Aliya.
“I…can’t.”
It shatters Aliya to say the words and she hadn’t realized until now that this wasn’t going to be as easy as she thought. She couldn’t just go back, not now. The miles between them were tearing her apart everyday but she didn’t have the strength to face Aly.
“Then I’m coming to Moscow.”
“Aly—“
Aliya can’t even get a sentence out before the line goes dead and she’s left with silence on the other end.
—
Aliya stares down at the paper in front of her, her hand holding her pencil faltering a bit as she tries to take the words from her head and put them down. She bites her lip in thought, scrunching her forehead together.
“You’re doing really well, babe.”
Aly smiles proudly at her, ghosting her hand over her girlfriend’s as she rests her palm on top of Aliya’s knuckles. The younger girl visibly relaxes but her expression still remains tense. There are good and bad days with learning English.
Somedays she’s on a streak and she can physically feel herself grasping the language then other days it’s like she hits a brick wall.
Aly can see it, see her struggle and it tugs at her heart strings but she reassures her even on her bad days she’s learning.
Seeing Aliya put this much effort into something that wasn’t a sport surprised Aly at first, the amount of dedication that came from the Russian was overwhelming emotionally for her because she was doing this all for her in the end; to be able to communicate with her, her family and friends.
“Why don’t we take a break from adjectives for a little?”
Aliya gratefully drops her pencil onto the paper and sits back with a long relieved sigh, running her hands over her face in exhaustion.
Aly bites her lip and shuffles the note cards in her hands absently, Aliya giving her an affectionate smile from behind her hands.
“I’m really proud of you, Alka. So proud.”
Aly’s beam of pride makes Aliya’s heart jump out of her chest, even after all this time it’s still the best fucking feeling in the world. A high that nothing else could ever compete with.
“Give me some more.”
Aliya sets her jaw determinedly and motions to the cards in Aly’s hand, raising an eyebrow. Aliya was a lot of things, some good, some not so good but she definitely at the core of being was not a quitter.
It’s then that she notices there’s a small shake in Aly’s hands, her eyes follow her arms up to her face and she gives a small inquiring look to her girlfriend. She sees the creep of a smile tug at the American’s lips and she knows it all too well.
“Aly?”
The other girl gives a shake of her head and a small smile before sliding a notecard to Aliya. There’s a small blush to her cheeks and her eyes are following Aliya’s every movements but her smile is genuine.
“Try to read this one…”
Aliya rolls her eyes in response, knowing Aly too well it was probably a difficult sentence because she liked to push her. She knew it was so she would learn and take on challenges but Aliya was tired, her mind is a jumble of Russian and English; it was overwhelming and sometimes too much.
She gives Aly a reproachful look but smiles and lifts the notecard, turning the piece of paper over in her fingers her breath catches and her eyes widen. Her mouth goes dry and suddenly everything slows down and it’s just her and the card.
“Will you marry me?”
Is written across the lines in Aly’s neat handwriting. Aliya may not have been studying the English language for too long but this was a phrase she didn’t even need to know a single English word for. She had been waiting to hear these words since she met Aly Raisman.
She lifts her eyes up just in time to meet Aly’s, hers shimmer with unshed tears and her smile has never felt wider across her face.
Aly’s knee bounces anxiously under the table and she gives Aliya a look like she’s waiting for an answer and the gears have to start moving in her head again when she realizes she never said anything in response.
“…Yes! Yes, of course! Aly I have never wanted anything more…!”
The watery giggle that escapes from Aly’s throat is contagious and Aliya soon finds herself laughing as well and she doesn’t even know why. Before she knows it she sees Aly remove a small box from her coat pocket and open it.
The diamond ring that stares back at Aliya is something she’s needed her entire life but just never knew it. Not so much the ring but the symbolism of it is what grounds her in this moment. This promise that the both of them are making; never to repeat the same mistakes they both made prior.
She holds out her hand eagerly and the ring slips effortlessly onto her finger like it was made just for her and no one else. She surges forward and frames Aly’s face in her hands, kissing her with everything she has, giving her everything she is.
“I’ll always say yes. Always.”
She whispers her words into their kiss, against the lips of the woman she loves and she means them. She means them with her entire being.
—
“So you’ve decided to go for Tokyo?”
Aly looks up from her phone to Jordyn who’s standing a couple feet away from her. She’s sat in the bleachers of the gym, chewing her lip anxiously as she reviews a rather long email from her dad.
“How did you hear?”
Jordyn fiddles with the tie on her sweatpants and scoffs gently, giving Aly a condescending look that bothers her more than it should.
“Word travels fast you know that, Aly.”
She nods and sets her phone down, surveying the girl in front of her with curiosity. There was a time where her and Jordyn were inseparable, a time where the two of them were practically glued at the hip but that had all come crashing down the moment Aly had knocked Jordyn off the spot for the all around in London.
The other girl insisted it wouldn’t effect their friendship, she was hurt but it wasn’t Aly’s fault, she insisted that everything would be normal but nothing had ever been normal for them from then on.
When Aly had decided to go for Rio and Jordyn decided to retire from her elite career things had changed even more for the two of them.
Things were cordial between them, there was never any cattiness upfront or in front of coaches, parents or other gymnasts but the animosity that had grown between them had cut Aly at the seams and down the middle.
She hadn’t only lost her best friend in London she lost a confidant, someone she could tell everything to. The loss seemed to effect Aly a lot more than Jordyn. When it came down to it Aly blamed Jordyn and vice versa.
She didn’t really know what she would blame the other girl for, but she had tried everything but just like a flame burning out slowly their texts to one another had become scarce, their phone calls non-existent and their dinner dates a distant memory.
It wasn’t until Aly and Aliya’s relationship came semi-public with her friends and family that Jordyn had started to slowly creep back into her life. When the team had returned from Rio with Aliya in tow Jordyn had been one of the first people to reach out to Aly and offer her support and commend her bravery.
She wasn’t offering her support in a best friend type of way, the way that Aly wanted it, but it was still better than nothing. It had been a bit of a shock to some people on the team, getting used to the idea of a Russian and an American talking let alone being together as a couple.
“Have you told Aliya?”
Aly frowns a bit, slightly taken aback by the question. What gave her the right to even inquire about that?
“Not yet…why?”
Jordyn tries to shrug it off but takes a seat on the bleacher one step down from Aly, still fiddling with the ties of her UCLA sweat pants.
“She’s your fiancé, doesn’t she have the right to know? Training basically controls your life for the next four years.”
Aly’s next words come out a little more aggressive than she intended but it doesn’t seem to effect Jordyn.
“Of course I’m going to tell her, it’s not like I’m keeping it from her, for fuck’s sake Jordyn…”
The other girl just blinks and gives Aly a slight nod in response. Her flippant behavior somewhat pisses her off and for a second she has the idea to ask her what the fuck has been up with her but she stops herself.
Today had been a long training session and the last thing she needed was to get into it with Jordyn Wieber right now.
“I’ve got it under control, thanks.”
Aly stands, slinging her back over her shoulder as she walks towards the end of the bleachers to the exit of the gym.
“Don’t wait, Aly. It won’t end up well, I just want what’s best for you.”
She doesn’t turn around with one hand on the door to push it open, she doesn’t owe Jordyn anything and especially anything about her personal life. She takes a deep breath before pushing through the door and into the parking lot.
—
“I feel naked without it.”
Aliya holds up her ring finger and examines her hand closely, like looking at it will magically make her ring reappear. All Maria can do is nod and watch her friend, as they sit there she wonders if she’ll ever find love just as Aliya had, if she will ever be able to look at her own hand and see a ring there one day.
“Why did you leave it with Aly?”
She doesn’t have an answer right away, the wounds are still so fresh but it’s a valid question if anything she should have taken it with her but she couldn’t bring herself to in that moment.
“I wanted her to have a piece of me…”
Maria raises an eyebrow and presses a little further,
“So you could get it back from her one day?”
She knows that Maria wants her to say she’s going to go back, that she’s going to make things work and even for a second she convinces herself she will but then she remembers everything and it’s like a weight has suddenly been dropped straight back into her stomach making her want to vomit.
“I don’t know Masha, it’s not that simple.”
“It seems like it is!” Maria bangs her hand on the table, not meaning to sound angry but she can’t help it, she can see her best friend going down the same path and she won’t let her this time.
“You sit here and tell me how much you miss her, so go back to her god dammit, Alka! You love her, I know it, everyone knows it!”
“It’s not that simple Masha—“
“Love is never simple but that’s why you work on it…I will not let you and Aly fall apart while I am around, I will not let you be this broken person again!”
They make eye contact and Aliya blinks back the tears threatening to spill. Maria’s right, there’s not a word she’s said that was wrong but it’s still not that simple.
“Love is supposed to make you happy Masha, not tear you apart from the inside.”
Aliya’s voice is firm, her face is stoic, her throat bobbing up and down as she tries to swallow.
“Love doesn’t always make you happy but you can’t run away from it. Stay and fight…”
She shakes her head, her tears falling freely now as she lets them, her vision clouded slightly but she feels Maria’s hand on her shoulder before her arms encircle her into a hug and she holds on tightly, not willing to let go.
She cries into Maria’s shoulder while she tries to whisper comforting words to her but her body is wracked with sobs, everything hitting her at once. She’s out of words, she’s tired of talking, she’s spent.
“I-I don’t know if I can this time…I don’t know if I have any fight left in me.”
—
It’s not over tonight,
just give me one more chance to make it right
