what if lab discovera tour guide but with cave johnson humor/tone
“Welcome, visitors! It has been zero days since our last incident! Not to worry - our latest field of study is trying to stop Specimen ID-F86 from opening vortices haphazardly throughout the facility! Due to its own enclosure being portal-proofed, it is highly plausible that it is only doing this to disrupt workflow and do potential harm to research staff. The knowledge that the Ultimate Life-Form is capable of petty behaviors like this is a groundbreaking discovery, perhaps showing that emotions are not any kind of inherent flaw and should be accepted, a great message to send to the people of our world who may be in distress! In the meantime, here are a few basic guides some of our team have written regarding the warning signs of opening rifts and how to avoid them.”
