#foster system
My partner and I are going through training to become foster parents!
And the classes so far are kinda meh, but not particularly bad. It’s good information generally no matter how it’s presented.
But tonight’s class was… something else.
It was taught by an instructor who:
Tried to make a point about kids being at different developmental levels than their ages would suggest- ended up seeming to encourage child marriage due to the fact that sometimes “16 year olds make better mothers than some 24 year olds.”
Warned people to be aware of teens who may fall in love with their foster parents and home wreck. Told the story of a teen who fell in love with his teacher, seduced her, and she ended up in prison having his baby while abandoning her own spouse and child. This was not in any way framed as rape of a minor and the teacher was 100% the victim in this scenario.
Listed the two types of students as “good” and “slow”. Repeatedly.
Tried to make a list of all the religions a child might have previously been a part of, came up with “Catholic, Presbyterian, …and Lutheran.”
Tried to make the point that the resources/preparation a child is given throughout their childhood determine the final product of a well adjusted or maladjusted adult. Made an exceptionally long list of the things you could do with apples (based I assume on the fact that there was a picture of an apple on the slide?), forgot the point she was trying to make, moved on to the next slide.
Cited the reason you aren’t allowed to use physical punishment with foster children was not that they’re literally someone else’s kids, have likely experienced trauma that could be exacerbated by physical punishment, and also there’s a lot of evidence that physical punishment causes more problems than it fixes- It’s actually that they’re “trying to prevent brain damage in foster kids.” She said this 3+ times.
Finally, knowing that there were 2 entire, real life adult trans people in the room, presented a 3-minute, clearly improvised lecture on transgenderism in youth in which she explained that the reason so many kids are becoming trans these days was because they saw it on TV and want to emulate it and/or want to have the benefits afforded by the opposite sex. I wish I could remember more of this lecture but it was so bad I was spending everything I had trying not to burst out laughing. I did try to offer a correction at the end, which she accepted until I started talking, cut me off, explained something else completely false about trans kids, and then continued like nothing had happened.
Like… I really feel sorry for her because my partner and I genuinely think she has the early-mid stages of dementia, but lordy if this is all the training a foster parent gets I don’t think its gonna be an easy road for them…
Sweet Sixteen
Jaime’s first night at Miss Sherry’s group home. Part of Do No Harm. Pre-WRU.
(To save you the background research, Miss Sherry’s is where Jaime ends up spending the last 2 years of his life in the foster system).
WARNINGS: Implied parental death, foster system, semi-sorta-minor whump, past child abuse, food insecurity
Miss Sherry’s house has an “open kitchen policy.” That’s what she told him when he showed up on her doorstep eleven hours ago, a trash bag full of clothes slung over his shoulder and a nameless caseworker at his side.
It’s bullshit, mostly likely. It always is. The rundown of rules they give in front of CPS is always vastly different from the reality of the days, weeks, or months that follow. Mrs. Maxwell told Jaime he would have his own room, then shoved two more twin mattresses in the second the caseworker left. The Welfords told him they’d treat him like one of their own, then locked him in his bedroom every night. Mr. Anderson promised he would never lay a hand on him in anger, then…
Well, it’s not worth thinking about now. He’s in a new house, which means new obstacles to navigate, new rules to learn, new traps to avoid. Dwelling on the past will only make him lose his focus on the present, which he is quickly brought back to by a loud rumble in his stomach. The third one in as many minutes.
Jaime is so fucking hungry. He knew—he knew—he should have eaten more at dinner, but his stomach was wound into knots like it always is on the first night in a new place, and he was afraid that he would make himself sick if he forced it down. Now, of course, his body has no such reservations as his stomach tries to claw itself inside out.
It’s a birthday cake. For him.
Oh shit! Peach, I swear to God I am actually crying. For real, tears in my eyes, omg.
This might honestly be one of my favorite chapters ever. I just… I have a thing for stories with kids, I especially have a thing for kids who came from a bad history, and a bad place, finding safety for once. I knew Miss Sherry was a nice lady, the mentions to her in the previous drabbles made me sure if it, but I don’t think I expected that much from the beginning. And like, we know Jaime’s life will go to shit eventually and that kills me, but I also know the time he has there was truly good for him. He made friends, he was safe, he got into college… I just love that kid so much and I really wish life had been kinder to him. That’s what this piece gave me, really… Just a moment of kindness.
