The Day After

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I had a lot of time to think about my life while I was in that basement. I realized two things: Number one being that I took everything that I had for granted; that’s the answer you were expecting though. Number two, I wasn’t happy. My friends weren’t really my friends. I never really enjoyed talking to them, which surprised me because I thought I enjoyed their company…but I didn’t. I had so much weight on my shoulders, like trying not to fail algebra, which seems silly now; and of course, all the shit with my parents. Though I loved…love them, they really had no grasp on the fact that every little thing they’ve ever said or did had a huge impact on me. It sounds cheesy to admit, but the only thing that made me feel normal, at peace, was Jamie. Is Jamie.

He’s sitting outside of the hospital room right now. He’s practically dying out there, anxious to take me home. When I was first rescued this morning, my only thought was him. I feel guilty that it wasn’t my parents I thought of. I’m about to be released any moment, and tonight will be the first night in a long time that I can finally sleep in my own bed, my own room, my own home.

“Y/N,” I snap out of my daze and look at my mother. “Darling, you ready to go home?” She asks me. I sigh, “Yes.” She smiles and so does my father. “Now I just know Jamie is dying to see you so I’m allowing him to drive you home, and only because I love you. You know I want to spend time with you darling, but look at yourself, you’re exhausted.” She says. I just nod, and follow them out the door, and Jamie jumps up from his seat as expected, and comes right to me. My dad gives me a pat on the back and he and my mother walk down the hall to head home. Jamie brings his hands to my shoulders and smiles; I smile back. He sighs with relief and hugs me, and I hug him back. “I love you so much,” he sobs, and it’s then that I realize he’s crying, and that makes me tear up as well. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it enough.” He adds. My heart aches at his words. “It’s okay,” I whisper, “I love you too.” He pulls back so he can look into my eyes, and I see nothing but love in them. He brings a hand to my face, and I subconsciously lean into his gentle touch. “Can I kiss you?” He asks, and I nod. So he does. The first kiss we’ve shared since that night. I truly missed this, him.

He pulls away, and with a smile he says, “Let’s get you home.” A phrase I once thought I’d never hear again.

It’s a silent ride back to my house. He held my hand as he drove.

When we arrived at my house, I found myself anxious. I haven’t lived with a family in almost a year, haven’t been in my room. I was nervous. Before I could ask Jamie to help me out of the car, he was already opening the passenger door, unbuckling my seat belt, and helping me out. We walked into my house, my parents were in the kitchen already preparing dinner when we walked in. It felt so weird to be home. I wasn’t sure if it was normal to be…normal. Ina way, it felt weird to be normal again.

“Let’s uh, let’s go to your room.” Jamie said, his hand resting on my back comfortingly. I just nodded and he proceeded to helping up the stairs one by one. Kicking and screaming for so long has really made my body sore and hurt. But he was patient with me.

We slowly walked to my closed door. He stepped in front of me and looked into my eyes before turning the door handle and slowly cracking the door open. I stepped into my room with caution. I just silently took it all in. It was all the same. Yet, it felt like it wasn’t my room, it was such a foreign feeling. But everything was just the same as I had left it.

“Everything okay?” Jamie broke me out of my trance. I turned around to make eye contact with him and smiled slightly. “Um, yeah. Just feels weird, you know?” I replied, turning around to sit on my bed. I smiled, picking up my childhood stuffed animal that has laid limp on my pillows, alone, for so long. Jamie follows my actions and sits on the bed as well.

“I’m really happy you’re back.” He smiles.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I feel like I’ve missed so much.” I say, laughing a little. “You have, but don’t worry, I’ll catch you up.” Jamie laughs.

*Skip to after dinner*

“Are you staying the night?” I asked Jamie as we laid on my bed. “Only if you want me to.” He replied. I smiled tiredly, “I do.” He smiled, getting up from the bed to fish out some pajamas for me and himself. There’s been numerous times he’s left his pajamas at my house before. He helped me up from the bed and i took my pajamas from him and made my way to my bathroom, this confused him. “What are you doing?” He asked. “I’m going to the bathroom to change.” I could still see he was confused as to why I wouldn’t just change in front of him, considering we were comfortable with each other and it’s nothing he hadn’t seen. However, after going so long without any sort of intimacy of any kind, it made me feel a little weird; so I didn’t, and he seemed to disregard it. When I was back in my room Jamie was already in his pajamas, the lights off with only my side table lamp illuminating his face as he got comfortable in my bed.

I walked over and slowly got in the bed, Jamie holding the duvet open for me as I did so. Once I got situated, I laid there for a moment, wondering if I should cuddle with him or not. It felt like we just started dating all over again. But Jamie must’ve been thinking the same thing because after a moment of silence he whispered, “Come here.” And I did. He held his arm out to wrap under me and I rested my head on his chest, a hand on his stomach. He reached over to turn off the lamp, pulling me closer. “Hey,” he said, making me lift my head to look at him, “I love you.” I smiled, “I love you too, Jamie.” Then he kissed me and we went to sleep.

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