#fucking fig sap

LIVE

ultramarineblues:

gallusrostromegalus:

rosslynpaladin:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

very important reminder that Buddha’s Hand is the name of a real citrus fruit that looks like this

image
image
image
image

it is also called the Fingered Citron. hope you enjoy this knowledge!!!

fun fact! there’s no actual flesh/pulp/juice inside this fruit 

image

so what’s the point of a fruit that doesn’t produce, well, fruit? easy. Buddha’s hands are widely used for their zest/peel, which serves pretty much the same purpose as lemon zest. 

To use a Buddah’s hand, just break off one of Buddha’s fingers, and grate or peel the yellow zest (avoiding the white pith). the pith doesn’t always go wasted though: unlike lemons, it isn’t bitter, and can be prepared a number of ways–including candied!

image

*materializes behind you & silently drags a singly pointy Buddha’s Hand finger softly down your neck*

You guys left out the best part.

the best part

of a Buddha’s Hand Citrus

is that

citrus trees interbreed like mad

whether you want them to or not

So in many neighborhoods

out of seemingly nowhere

someone’s Perfectly Suburban Lemon Tree

…starts sprouting fiiiiiiiiinnnnngerrrrrs….

*hums twilight zone theme*

So since both lemons and the satsuma look like they’re going to make it through the winter, and Husbeast is beginning to agree that having plants in the house to curculate and freshen air is nice when you have to seal it to avoid freezing your ass off, I am going to acquire some figs (we’ve got wasps and ants that will do the job here.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about and want to peer into the deep, uncomfortable corners of sybiotic relationships in nature, look up how figs reproduce.) and a nice Buddha’s Hand for my Increasingly Cursed Crops Collection.

Fig trees are awesome despite their freaky, freaky reproduction habits. If they like the place you put them in they’ll grow like weeds and give you Too Many Figs (if such a thing exists).

Though do be careful about the sap and rubbing on the leaves while getting those dead wasp filled, delicious figs, as I’ve seen it causing mild rashes on people with sensitive skin.

This might be a bit TMI, but: unfortunately, the sap can inflict worse than mild rashes. 

My family had fig trees growing up; the fruit was delicious. My dad had the minor reaction and avoided it by wearing long sleeves when he picked fruit or trimmed the trees, then taking a shower immediately afterwards. I  listened to his warnings and only played on the trees in winter, when they were leafless and dry. 

Eventually my parents decided to get rid of one of the trees—its roots were getting to the point of messing up nearby brickwork. I was old enough that I wanted to be helpful! I helped by digging up a root. This was a mistake. 

I did not get a mild rash like my dad. I got the rash from hell. 

(Cut just in case, for description of the rash/blister from hell.)

I only got the root sap on a small patch of one arm, thank goodness. I then wasted my good luck by trying to scrub it off, which was a mistake, because I think I ended up rubbing the stuff deeper. I ended up getting a large, irregularly shaped raised blister (a few inches long, more like several blisters bleeding together), hot to the touch, and also excruciatingly painful to the touch. Worst pain I’ve ever been in, though to be fair I’ve led a sheltered life. 

I have avoided fig trees since then. If I ever have to interact with one again I’m wearing a goddamn hazmat suit. 

The fruit’s still great, though. 

(For years afterwards, I couldn’t find anything on reactions like mine from fig sap. I did eventually come across one article on the subject: 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6340245/

Which made me very glad that I went inside after that first bit of sap, because it could have been much worse.) 

Long story short: there are minor reactions and severe ones; the latter don’t seem to be common but are very unpleasant. 

loading