The One That Got Away

*has a bunch of requests i could do*
*proceeds to write this instead*

pairings: georgenotfound x reader

pronouns: non used

genre: ansgt. just pure angst. im sad

summary: maybe in another lifetime it could’ve worked out

warnings: this is sad :( argument, breakup, slight dissociation also a pretty heated make out scene, mention of su*cide

Summer after high school when we first met

The sounds of cheering filled the air. You had finally graduated high school! You had worked so hard to make sure you got into the college you wanted and all your work was paying off with a high GPA.

“y/n”

Turning around, your eyes meet a pair that you recognized. It was a brunette boy from your biology and English class. You always found him very nice looking, and from what you had seen and heard he was a really good person and the few times you did speak to him he lived up to that.

“hey! George, right?”

He nodded his head and a small smile graced his face

“yeah that’s me! I just came to congratulate you”

Small talk filled the empty space between the two of you until he finally built up the courage to ask

“do you wanna go get lunch together sometime? or breakfast if that works better- or we could always do dinner but that’s probably not as good or if you want-”

“I would love to”

We’d make out in your Mustang to Radiohead

They say you only find one true love in your life. You finally found yours. You and George had been together for a year now and you couldn’t imagine it any different.

Now in the back of his beaten down car, you moved in a heated passion filled with pure love. Lips locked together, tongues memorizing every inch of each others mouths, gentle hands caressing your face, and the soft noises that occasionally slipped past your lips.

He pulled away only slightly to mumble soft “I love you”’s against your lips and you smiled against him. As you pulled away to look into his eyes, a suffocating warmth fills your heart. His head dipped into the crevise of your neck, gently kissing the skin before leaving soft purple marks against your collarbone.

And on my 18th birthday we got matching tattoos

Two years. It had been two years that you spent together.

“George I’m scared”

His soft hands reached for yours, sqeezing gently.

“its okay I’m right here. It doesn’t hurt I promise”

You had decided to let George get his tattoo first, purely because of how scared you were, but after seeing the excitement in his eyes you took a deep breath and smiled.

A sun and a moon. A small sun was now tattooed onto George’s wrist, and a moon on yours. He truly was your sun.

The moon needs the sun to shine.

But the sun is fine without the moon.

If only you had realized sooner.

Used to steal your parents’ liquor and climb to the roof
Talk about our future like we had a clue

“Hurry george!”

As hard as you tried to sound serious, you couldnt help but giggle as he attempted to climb onto the roof. Finally reaching the top, you handed him the stolen bottle of vodka and a bottle of coke. Reaching his hands down he helped you climb up next to him, the both of youre cheeks hurt from the giddy smiles on your faces, elated from the stupidity of the situation, but also from the pure love of being with each other.

Finally sitting next to the boy, you got to look out at the horizon. Beautiful shades of pinks and oranges filled the sky, as if an artist had come and painted it, knowing exactly how to make it look perfect. and so it was.

It was perfect.

Never planned that one day I’d be losing you

Hot tears streamed down your flushed cheeks

“I cant spend every day with you y/n!”

“George its been a week and you’ve barely said a word to me!”

Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe it was nothing. But it hurt, and as soon as you tried to tell him how you felt, all of his walls came up. Seeing him this defensive was so different. It was terrifying…

“I have a life outside of you why cant you realize that!”

“All I want is for you to at least try include me! Since you started streaming its like I’m nothing anymore! Why cant you just fit me into your life…”

Your voice faded into a whisper

“i just want to know i mean something to you still”

In another life
I would be your girl
We’d keep all our promises
Be us against the world
In another life

I would make you stay
So I don’t have to say you were
The one that got away
The one that got away

“we’re forever right George?”

“forever”

Though you were both drunk out of your minds, you sat across from your lover, hands on the sides of his face which was filled with nothing but adoration.

“I promise”

I was June and you were my Johnny Cash
Never one without the other, we made a pact

Dancing around the kitchen to old Johnny cash songs, George’s eyes filled to the brim with fondness for the person dancing around, begging him to join. So he did. And so you spent god knows how long dancing and laughing to the songs that filled the room.

Sometimes when I miss you I put those records on

“okay you can open them”

your eyelids softly fluttered open, to see your lover standing nervously with a record in his hand. A Johnny cash record. He knew you had an old record player that your mother had gifted you when you were in your high school years. A tenderness pulled at your heart as you smashed your lips into his.

now those records sit in the corner of you room, haunting you with the memories that plagued your mind every night.

Someone said you had your tattoo removed

you tried everything to get rid of the thought of him, but it was like you could never escape it.

“hey y/n right?”

“yeah?”

A stranger stood in front of you. A look of pity on the young women’s face. You seemed to be getting a lot of those.

“you uh… you’re George ex right”

It felt like a stab through the heart. It felt like maybe it wasn’t true, but now hearing someone say it straight to your face. It hurt. You knew it would but perhaps that just made it worse.

“y-yeah I am”

“oh… I work at the tattoo parlor down the road”

The one you and George got your tattoos at.

“well I saw him come in today to get the tattoo removed… I’m so sorry…”

Oh.

He really had moved on, huh.

Little did you know, George spent long nights staring at the tattoo on his wrist.

It felt like it was mocking him.

He just wanted to be able to forget you.

That’s what was best, right.

And so he got rid of anything that had any memories of you attached. He even got new sheets because if he focused enough he could still smell your perfume. Or perhaps that was just his mind holding on to the sweet smell, fooling him into a false sense of you still laying next to him, sharing soft kisses and sweet whispers.

Saw you downtown singing the blues
It’s time to face the music, I’m no longer your muse

A familiar voice chimed through the air. Turning around, you blocked out the sounds of your friends and your eyes caught onto the man who you had been trying so hard to move on from. He was singing a soft melody, a soft smile on his face.

He looked…

Happy.

All this money can’t buy me a time machine, no
Can’t replace you with a million rings, no

You were left with nothing. Even if you had more money than you ever had, even if your friends bought you supposed “early birthday” presents, that you knew were purely bought out of pity, nothing filled the emptiness that plagued you. It hollowed you out and and drained all of your energy. It taunted you and you saw his face in every stranger, heard his voice in every song.

Some days you would wake up smiling, your mind tricking you into thinking he was right there next to you. His skin against yours, his voice whispering sweet nothing into your ears.

I should’ve told you what you meant to me
‘Cause now I pay the price

“I cant do this”

Those four words. They ripped your chest open and pushed all the air out of your lungs.

“okay”

That’s all you could say. No other words could form on your tongue. You wanted to scream and yell and tell him how much you love him. How much you need him. But you couldn’t.

“goodbye y/n”

His voice drenched with pain, but still he gave you a soft smile. That stupid. stupid. smile.

As soon as he stepped outside, you fell to your knee’s, not caring about the bruises that would most definitely form later. Why couldn’t you run outside and beg him too stay.

Outside the front door, George fell apart. Why did he have to do this. He still loved you but he was scared. He was so scared. He did this to stop you from hurting but all he did was hurt you more. The look of agony framing your perfect face tormented him and still does to this day.

In another life
I would be your girl
We’d keep all our promises
Be us against the world
In another life
I would make you stay
So I don’t have to say you were
The one that got away
The one that got away

In the end, no matter how the stars aligned this lifetime just wasn’t made for you to be together. So you killed yourself in the most beautiful way possible. You fell in love with someone you couldn’t be with. In the end even if you were meant to be, you weren’t meant to last.

But you will look for him in every universe, every night sky, in every flower field, cause its always been him and always will be.

AUTHORS NOTE: lmaoooo im really sad rn so my brain said “write angst” and i said “yes” so know this ugly mess exists haha

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I love you all <3 drink water, eat food and take your meds.