Went to my fave coffee shop after class and was able to get 2 ½ out of 5 readings for next week done plus my PowerPoint for the class I’m teaching tomorrow. Haven’t made any progress on my prospectus or my bibliography but I’m hoping tomorrow I’ll have some time to work on that and email my advisor. I also stupidly volunteered to be treasurer of my gsa even tho this is abt to be the busiest semester of my entire life. I’m stressed already and it’s only the first week of school
In the library, listening to the new Taylor Swift album (so relieved that it’s not all like the first two lead singles, which really dampened my excitement for an album that I hoped would give me more songwriting ideas & inspiration) and wrapping my scarf double-tight around my neck because BOY OH BOY it’s cold.
I sorted out possible access to Rock’s Backpages yesterday with my school’s librarian, which might help me find some useful sources about how the girl group music songs/musicians I’m writing about were perceived and received in the 60s. Hopefully I’ll get to delve into it more next week!
casual friday post | what mistake are you grateful for?
when i was trying to figure out what i wanted to write my thesis on, i was also in the midst of a very confusing crisis; i didn’t know if i wanted to focus in on race and higher education or if i wanted to go back to my roots, which is mainly politics and popular culture. i forgot which day my meeting was on until my adviser texted me a few minutes before our meeting started and suddenly my heart was in my toes.
i had nothing but two random ideas i had written on index cards and pinned on my desk. so when i went to meet with him, he basically asked me a few questions and i had to make up a topic on the spot. that was the topic i ended up going with and expanding on and writing an entire thesis about. all that i knew was that i didn’t want to write about something i actually liked anymore because i knew i was going to hate it by the end of my project. i wanted to write about race, but something distant enough that i wasn’t putting my own anger and trauma into everything i wrote (whether i succeeded or not is to be determined).
at the end of the day, i am grateful for the project i created, for the people it introduced me to, and for the scholar it turned me into. it reminded me to branch out more. it made me actively start diversifying the fields that i cite from. and overall, it gave me an outlet for trauma i didn’t even realize i was still hurting from. one of the top three mistakes i’ve made, honestly.
every friday during this challenge, i’m responding to a journaling prompt! if you decide to do the same, feel free to tag me!
This Facebook memory from seven years ago is actually hilarious considering I just learned about qualifying exams and all they entail in-depth yesterday. Poor baby me had no idea what was coming…
Anyways, boot camp is going along well. We had journal club today and we’ll have another tomorrow. I was MAJORLY confused by the paper for tomorrow at the first read, but I went over it again tonight and I think I actually understand it now? So that’s cool. I know a lot of the others were also confused by this paper (it’s more systems neuro than cell/molecular) so hopefully the student who is moderating the session goes easy on us.
My program really tries to take care of first-years and so we each have an “advisory committee” since we don’t have actual permanent labs yet and therefore don’t have mentors to turn to. Each committee is made up of two faculty members and a senior student. We met them today, and unfortunately, neither of my faculty members showed up. I understand that summer is a busy time, but it would have been nice to touch base. Regardless, the student was really nice and she told me to email the faculty members and just sort of nudge them towards a meeting since they didn’t come today. So I did that, and I also emailed a PI who I’m really interested in rotating with for the winter. Maybe a little premature, but I feel like I have to scoop these people up before others in my cohort do.
I also registered for classes! I’m so nervous, especially since I have to miss the second day of class due to a colonoscopy (TEARS), but hopefully all will be well on that front. I learned that the program is going to start offering two courses in MATLAB, which is pretty cool because as of now I know zero about that.
Research is sort of at a halt right now due to boot camp taking up the entirety of my days, but this rotation should be wrapping up soon with some really nice data to go along with it. I think I just have some analysis to go and I’ll be done!
Went to my fave coffee shop after class and was able to get 2 ½ out of 5 readings for next week done plus my PowerPoint for the class I’m teaching tomorrow. Haven’t made any progress on my prospectus or my bibliography but I’m hoping tomorrow I’ll have some time to work on that and email my advisor. I also stupidly volunteered to be treasurer of my gsa even tho this is abt to be the busiest semester of my entire life. I’m stressed already and it’s only the first week of school
In the library, listening to the new Taylor Swift album (so relieved that it’s not all like the first two lead singles, which really dampened my excitement for an album that I hoped would give me more songwriting ideas & inspiration) and wrapping my scarf double-tight around my neck because BOY OH BOY it’s cold.
I sorted out possible access to Rock’s Backpages yesterday with my school’s librarian, which might help me find some useful sources about how the girl group music songs/musicians I’m writing about were perceived and received in the 60s. Hopefully I’ll get to delve into it more next week!
Yikes, how is it Thursday already? I knew this week was going to be a transition week, since I’ve been switching gears to work on a different part of the thesis, but ugh.. i wish I had more to show for myself. I did manage to finish my outline, identify and import 1000+ useable words from my dissertation prospectus (which I had approved waaaay back in Fall 2016 ) and write 500 words of new material. But that’s pretty much it. Well, I’ve done some RA work too, which I guess is cool because I need the money, but thesis progress has been slow.
A campus-wide power outage threw a wrench into my plans on Tuesday, but I can’t blame it all on that. I just haven’t been managing my time that well. I’ve spent quite a few hours this week working on and learning about illustrations, which is NOT helping me finish my thesis, though it is satisfying some other part of me. Something that’s really fascinating me right now is the way that light effects perception of colour. Like, for example, the colour of a person’s skin at sunset is…. not what you think it is! I’ve been racking my brain (and the internet) trying to figure out how this phenomenon works, but I haven’t found any clear, comprehensive explanation - perhaps because there isn’t one. I have a friend who went to art school, and I asked her whether trained artists understand this stuff, like, scientifically - or whether they use references to achieve the effect they want. She said it’s a combination of both.
With that in mind, I’ve been playing around with colours a bit this week, trying to convey more complex lighting in my illustrations. Obviously, I’m a complete beginner, and these efforts are pretty crude, but the process has been super instructive. The images above are from some of my in-progress pieces. I included two renditions of the blond character, wearing the same shirt, but one of them is in colour-balanced (neutral) white light, and the other is in orangey, sunset lighting. You can see how much I had to adjust the colours to convey the change in lighting. I’m STILL adjusting them, actually, and I have no idea how deep the shadows should be on the one character’s shirt… so I’m kind of stuck
Anyways, enough of that. I gotta get to work on that thesis introduction. I don’t even know what goals to set, honestly, because the document is such a mess, but I’m just going to commit to having the file open for three hours and see what happens. Then, I’m headed to the library to do some good ole fashioned research… with books!
So, Tuesday I drove back to school from my parents’ house, made some of the department grad orientation that I wanted to make (I was half an hour late – but I’m still proud that I got there before noon!), and signed up for health insurance afterwards. Then I went in for an evening shift.
Wednesday was the first day of classes, and I managed to score meetings with both of the professors I’m grading for, sit in on a (for the first day, very short) class my advisor is teaching, put in far more time doing work for the grad organization than I expected to, and – something I’m most proud of – started what I consider to be the formal writing process for my dissertation.
I didn’t open up a Word doc and label it “Dissertation,” but I am starting to compile and organize the notes I handwrote while reading everything this summer, which means I’m thinking through the material, making connections and asking more questions, and I’ll soon arrive at more of an argument than I currently have, which is no argument at all.
Today, I sat in on one of the classes I’m grading for, and I’ve been working on those notes more. I have a shift in a couple of hours, so I’m trying to do as much as I can now.
Pictured above is what I wore on Wednesday, as well as my setup from typing notes this morning. I’ve been getting up much earlier than I usually do, and I think that’s in large part because I woke up Tuesday morning to use the bathroom at 4:30 and couldn’t go back to sleep (and then had to get up and get ready to drive before 7:30…). There’s been 2 consequences: I’m falling asleep standing up at 10pm, and I’ve been able to actually do some stuff in the mornings. Let’s see how my coffee intake is today though…
I did finally figure out what I did last Thursday. Spent the afternoon at a yarn shop for stitch and bitch.
This week has been not great, brain wise. Alice, my cat who passed at the end of April, came up in therapy. Which makes sense, because she was the tipping point for going to therapy in the first place. Still sad. Still sucked. Hurray for probably traumatic experiences. Spent the rest of Tuesday not doing great.
Yesterday managed to be even worse. I haven’t had anxiety that bad in a while. Nothing got done. Sobbed on the phone at my mom about car insurance. Ended up picking up a late lunch, knitting, and reading the rest of the day. Not every day is going to be a good day, and I’m still working on not beating myself up over it.
Today was a late start. Took a new, faster route to campus to test out how long it would take before classes start next week. Now I am at my carrel in the medieval collections. Before I leave, the goal is to finish Elf Charms and scan the 80 pages of Barlett I need to read.
Hey y’all! I’m so sorry I haven’t updated more than once in the past week - I’ve been going through a lot in my personal life with regards to physical and mental health, so I haven’t been able to stay on track the way I’d like to. I have 13 days until my first qualifying exam (algebra) so I guess it’s crunch time! My goal is to try and finish several practice qual problems a day so I can be ready by the 27th.
Man, I have not been great about posting this week. I’m not sure where the time went, because I haven’t felt superbusy, but I’m kind of just dumbfounded it’s already Thursday.
A couple of accomplishment highlights:
I finally went to the eye doctor! It’s been way, way too long. Discovered I have astigmatism. Promptly ordered some glasses.
Went with my husband to hiscampus so that he could explore, take care of paperwork, find classes, etc. etc. (all the stuff I did last week)
Dug into an excellent essay on Essentialism and its implications in the classroom (found in Teaching to Transgress by bell hooks)
Progress through a never-ending slew of data entry work
This week has felt… strange. I haven’t been super present in my day-to-day life, so it’s just blurring right on by. My work on campus begins next week, with classes the week after that, so I’m just.. excited. I have a tendency to get excited about something that’s right around the corner and, as a result, completely neglect my life in the present moment.
It basically looks like me being totally distracted. Manically checking email, because I want more information. Getting distracted by campus maps and opportunities. Reading ahead with no real purpose. It makes things like… data entry for a side gig…. really difficult.
But! I’m determined to make today a day of present-mindedproductivity. Email can wait! Nothing is due! All of these things will come!
Here’s what’s on the agenda:
Data. Entry. Just do it.
Send survey and dashboard template to M (actually really excited about this! Might make a separate post about it later!)
Tidy up- clean the kitchen. Wipe down some tables. Do some swiffering.
Read another 40-50 pages
I should probably start updates on a paper I proposed for a conference, while I have the time to focus on it
If all goes as planned, you should see a subsequent “I got all this stuff DONE!” update post tomorrow. Fingers crossed.
finish revising my proposals and send them back out
do a little brainstorming & a little reading re: how to revise this article when the additional evidence the editor asked for doesn’t exist
do another postdoc dredge
wash dishes/unpack/generally tidy up the apartment
eat some delicious elote & al pastor tacos with my friends & my dog in eagle rock
this despite the fact that i was running on < 3 hours of sleep and felt awful until i went home in the afternoon to nap light work day, but i have made peace with it. plans for tomorrow: article work, hopefully all day, because i really need to get cracking on this properly. also yoga.
Hvað ætlar þú að gera í dag? Ég er að læra íslenska. What are you doing today? I’m learning Icelandic! I also have to learn some German because I haven’t done any in a few days.
Today I went to the library with three huge totes full of library books from last semester — books for my masters thesis as well as for 3 papers! There were so many I felt bad for the librarians but they didn’t mind something to do on a Saturday during summer.
Afterward, I tried to check out the classroom I’m teaching in in person, but the building was closed. I’ll have to check it out later this week.
Just now I made this delicious latte at home, in my favorite mug from when I lived in Michigan! The zoo opened a big updated penguin conservation center and the graphic design was fantastic. Of course I love clear mugs and picked this up.
I’ve done “productivity challenges” in the past, but always end up dropping them after a few wks. If I keep one running for 120 days, it’ll last until my fall quarter officially ends (although I think my classes end a little sooner than that). This would help me stay at least minimally productive each day, instead of procrastinating projects until the last minute and then having a lot of work due all in one or two days. This has been a real problem for me this summer, I think just because I’m so physically tired after work and I can’t bring myself to do school work everyday. But if I even do just 30 mins or an hour daily, I should have a much easier time getting assignments done. It’ll also help me see my progress and tasks everyday. So here’s what I got done today.
『プログレス』 ✨ Got my schedule a lot more figured out. Not just for planning my work load, but also upcoming vacation things. ✨ Got laundry done, cleaned up around the apt some. Got ready for work tomorrow. Worked on my intake forms for Wednesday’s class. Found a few career related events I saved to my calendar (not sure if I’ll go but I like having the info). ❗Need to start my TF-CBT course! I want to do at least an hr a wk.
Reading in a rocking chair on the front porch of the lodge with my morning caffeine fix is going to happen daily and I’m so excited about it :)
Today is going to be the warmest day all week, so I’m hell-bent on making the most of it and being outside as much as I can. Either before or after lunch, I’ll be lounging poolside, slathered in sunscreen and tanning my stomach, with a book and a pen in my hand (as always). In the meantime, I’m on my second cup of tea and gently rocking.
My goal today is to read at least 40 pages in Of Grammatology, and as much of Fantasia as I can. I decided to reread the translation first, before diving into the French, only because I don’t want to bring my dictionary outside/to the pool with me.
(it’s easier for me to do all these in one go- apologies)
- I think I’ve decided to focus on funerary monuments from Roman Britain in my thesis - it makes visiting them in museums a lot easier! (plus everything is in English which makes my brain hurt less!) - but also this could very much change as I read more/ speak to my supervisor
- I bumped into a friend I met when I studied abroad in Rome and she gave me great phd advice and said I should send her my proposal and she will look over them all - it’s so good being able to speak to people who have gone through the phd process recently!
- Speaking of phds - I’ve been writing down my aims and research questions for my phd proposal and it’s becoming a lot clearer and easier to justify why it’s an important / worthwhile project!
- I work six days a week as a housekeeper in a hotel so any amount of work I get done in the afternoon is a bonus!
My presentation proposal got accepted! I’ll be presenting at my first academic conference (as a PhD student) in October!
This means I need to get a move on revisions
My Warby Parker at-home try on glasses came in the mail, and I fell in love with a pair. Promptly ordered another pair of glasses.
I randomly received some pretty good/encouraging feedback from my data entry side gig?? Which was kind of unexpected, honestly. I’m not doing a bag job, I’m just doing… a .. job.
I got in contact with my temporary advisor— they seem great to work with, even temporarily
My computer decided it was going to undergo a spontaneous and large update, which seemed like bad news at first, but it actually ended up meaning I got some extra time to read on the porch this morning.
My husband is taking me on a surprise date tonight. Don’t know what’s going to happen, but I think there’s good food involved.
It’s been my kinda Friday. A couple of big things need to happen this weekend. Namely, school supplies. I need to buy them. And the house needsto get cleaned. Other than that, hoping to make more data entry progress and I wouldn’t hate getting started on some paper revisions.
it’s friday! this week i (mostly) stuck to the few habits i wanted to try out. during the half-hour reading sessions i managed to get through the kristeva chapters i wanted to check out and today i spent a couple of hours tackling the reading list i’ve been compiling for the paper. (i also met a very playful cat who let me pet it!!)
thursday was a day off & i attempted a photo diary. looking back, i remember that i spent time tidying the apartment (something i always do on thursdays so i have a nice, clean place on weekends), i baked & did some journaling & tried to get organized, but my brain wasn’t having it. sometimes i have really crappy days when a lot of thoughts and feelings i don’t want are swirling around in my head & it’s exhausting to fight it. i need to remember that the best thing to do on such days is to dig through my books until i find one that will pull me in completely and spend as much time with it as i can.
i am feeling a lot better today & i am happy that i have two full days to look forward to for getting things done, so this is my to-do list for this weekend:
clean bathroom
vacuum
make a list & read at least 4 articles/day (w notes!)
go through notes & put down a tentative structure
cook lunch (x2)
laundry(maybe also iron some shirts for the week)
banoffee pie
call C.
morning pages (need to make a decision i’ve been putting off that has been at the back of my mind constantly so we’re tackling this now!! i’m giving it 15 minutes of my day tomorrow to spill out all the worries and we’re reaching a conclusion by sunday night!!)
hello there, it has been quite a week! Starting with the really cool stuff: my advisors were super happy with my proposal and I only have some minor changes left to do and to finish assembling all the other stuff I have to sent with it. The deadline is in a month so that’s a first! Also giving myself a break and be okay with working slowly (ok, still working on that one) after being constantly on the go for idk 3 years? 4 years? has been amazing and I’m feeling like myself again, enjoying my work, being normally semi-motivated instead of checked out. Take breaks, you guys, it works! And I mean as in have a schedule and don’t overdo it over a longer period of time and not “take an afternoon off” (and I say this as a person who might or might not have googled “how to recover from burnout quickly” several times).
Anyway, I have now finished 3/5 set of revisions and as of just now have a proper plan for #4 (this is all for a collaborative book project btw so the sets are smaller texts). The weekend will be spent on relaxing and celebrating a friend’s birthday and some light work on revision #4 and #5 before I’ll finalize the application I’ve been working on and draft some preliminary reading lists for my PhD project.
