#guess we know where bitty got the extra salt from
oh god
i’m just imagining bitty getting really pissed off at jack. idk what he did but it was something Bad and bitty is in a cold rage about it.
(maybe jack is stressed out about hockey things and he ends up losing his temper and he takes it out on bitty. jack ends up screaming at him, tells bitty he needs to fuck off and stop bugging him all the time about things that he’s not a part of. it’s really uncool. it’s totally jack’s fault for being an asshole and for letting his anxiety and fear get the better of him.)
their initial fight is interrupted when jack has to leave for practice, and once he’s gone bitty spends 3 hours cooking an elaborate meal of all of jack’s favorite foods. there are like, two courses and side dishes and desserts and everything. he made rolls from scratch. it’s a gorgeous spread.
bitty lays everything out on the table and waits for jack to get back from practice. bitty has been watching the clock. jack should be home soon.
anyway then jack comes in the door and he’s like, still all angry and grumpy from their fight. he’s ready to hash it all out again. he’s prepared a whole speech about why what he did Wasn’t That Bad.
then jack sees the food. he tilts his head at the table. is that tourtière? he looks up at bitty, frowning.
bitty just stares him down.
jack opens his mouth to say something and bitty just shoves ALL THE FOOD OFF THE TABLE AND ONTO THE FLOOR. without saying a word, bitty calmly turns around and walks to their bedroom and slams the door.
jack’s like, shit. there is food all over the floor. it’s a huge mess. but he gets down on his knees and starts to clean it all up, scraping food back up onto the plates so he can take it to the garbage. the whole time, jack’s thinking about what he did. he fucked up. he realizes he Fucked Up. he’s not gonna give his speech about how bitty was overreacting. he wasn’t overreacting. jack was being a dick.
but also… jack is hungry. he just came back from practice. it’s all his favorite food. even though it’s been on the floor, he finally just eats a bite.
it’s the most horribly salty thing jack has ever had the misfortune of putting in his mouth. he has to spit it out. it feels like his taste buds have been burned off. jack is pretty sure he’ll never stop tasting salt.
it’s… he can’t believe it. but also he can? jack kind of groans in frustration. part of him isn’t surprised at all. he should have known. he should have known bitty would know that he’d try to eat the food anyway.
(later, when they’ve made up, bitty’s like, “yeah, of course i over salted everything. i knew you’d take a bite. you love tourtière. …also, we need to buy another canister of salt.”)
anyway that’s the day jack fully realizes that bitty is a terrifying human being. jack might lose his temper and say stupid things sometimes, but when bitty’s angry he will calmly take you and everything you ever loved apart without even blinking.
jack never yells at bitty again. he’s learned his lesson.
(mostly because when jack apologized bitty looked him seriously in the eyes and said, “baby, i forgive you. i understand how hard things are for you right now. but if you ever speak to me like that again i won’t cook a meal for you like i just did. i will leave your ass and you will never see me again. alright?”)
