summary: after starting your freshman year in university you’re introduced to something called “the list.” the list consists of the top 10 most wanted girls and is constantly updated throughout the semester. sadly you’ve somehow found your way to the top of this fucked up list, but it can’t be that bad? right?
pairing: various hq x fem reader
genre: university!au, drama, angst, fluff? suggestive themes, multi x reader
warnings: toxic friendships, the guys as assholes lmao, sexual content but no smut, lots of objectifying women here.
summary ;〝 having a roommate with his only purpose in life is the use for his dick, you finally had enough of his actions— deciding to reverse the roles. 〞
Pairing: Osamu x reader (main route), Atsumu x reader
Genre: Social Media-AU, text
Warning: mdni, angst, NSFW, 18+, smut
Mi Amor: 2021/09/07- Tuesday
Even today, you have thought of nothing but the beautiful time with Atsumu. More and more, you have to admit that you want to be close to him, not just as a friend. You want him to touch you like his girlfriend. That you don’t just spend your time as friends. But unlike what you discussed with Akaashi before, it’s just difficult for you to find the right time. Again and again you push the conversation further back, hoping that at some point a suitable time will come where you can confess your feelings.
Still, you are in your bathing suits, which are slightly damp, when you enter your room and find the towels draped into two swans on your bed. Next to the swans is a small gift basket on your bed. Two glasses, a bottle of champagne and some chocolates are inside decorated with rose petals.
Giggling, you turn to Atsumu, ask him if he had this cheesy idea, even if you can’t imagine since he knows that this champagne doesn’t taste very good to you. But he only shrugs his shoulders, comes up to you and takes the basket and the little card out of your hand.
They wrote ‘a little attention for our dear guests’ on the card. If they can remember him? Of course, his fame may have helped to get some special attention from the hotel here and there. But this is really cheesy. He puts the basket and contents on the desk before he approaches you again with a broad grin.
“Oh mi amor, so the handsome young man and you’re not lovers? Oh but we have made so much effort to make your honeymoon as romantic as possible.”
His voice disfigured, he sounds almost like the cleaner who had mistakenly described you as a couple today. He’s great at imitating her, even her hip swing, as if he had practiced it hundreds of times. You can’t help but burst into laughter and put your hand in front of your stomach.
“Hey babe, don’t laugh at me!” Suddenly, he’s pouting back to his usual voice before he grabs you and starts tickling you.
“Oh my dear, just ya wait. Anyone who laughs at me will be punished.” He teases you while you’re wriggling every time he keeps tickling you.
“Hey, ahaha Tsumu! Haha stop it! That, that tickles, ha!” You still fidget at every touch until you stumble over the water bottle of Atsumu, which as always, lies on the floor in front of the bed. You fall into the bed, and with you Atsumu too. The two of you can’t stop laughing until you realize how close you are. You hold your breath, just look him in the eyes and hope that he can’t hear your fast heartbeat. Atsumu, too, abruptly gets quiet, realizing that not even his flat hand would fit between the two of you, since you are so close.
Although you don’t really wear much, your hair is still slightly wet, just like your bikini, you’re feeling like the room is suddenly ten degrees warmer than before. The heat rises in your cheeks, and it seems you’re not alone with this feeling. Atsumu’s face is blushing, while he’s studying you.
He lies between your legs, his naked skin on yours, and you can feel your abdomen going crazy with pleasure. Is this the right time to confess your love to him? Or would it ruin everything now? You have to try.
“Tsumu I -”
But Atsumu’s lips seal your words pressing on yours even before you can say anything. He knows it’s wrong. He knows, so why is he kissing you? Why is he provoking it? Why… Because you are perfect. Your character, your laugh, your body… Everything about you is perfect.
Now you’re lying here, half-naked under him, shining at him with those incredibly beautiful eyes. It was an action in the effect; he hadn’t really thought about it, but he had to kiss you. He can’t take it anymore. But when you give in to his kiss, you wriggle under him, rub your pelvis against his cock, consciously or unconsciously, and Atsumu knows that he has to stop now, otherwise what almost happened before your vacation will happen now. And he doesn’t want to lose you because of something so silly.
“Fuck, m sorry babe…” He breathes on you, but you don’t give him a chance to go away from you. You cling to his neck, pull him back down to you.
“Don’t go…”
“Y/n, that’s not-”
“Please Tsumu, I want it… I want you…”
Your words kiss his ears, even if he is sure that you are only saying this now because you want to feel needed and loved again, as you did back then. Once again, you breathe your request into his ear, brush your body against him, when he feels his dick getting stiffer, how he can no longer hide the bulge in his pants.
Fuck it, just the one time. After that, after that, you stop. After that, you become normal friends again. Just now, you’re not. He will manage it to see this as a meaningless fling. Somehow…
Again, he kisses you, this time wilder, more aggressive, as he circles your body with his fingers. Unlike his kisses, which are getting passionate and deeper, make your tongue burn, his fingertips move slowly over your skin, driving around your curves precisely until they reach your bikini panties, playing with the edge.
“Come on, take your clothes off for me.”
He interrupts your kiss and looks sharply into your eyes. His husky voice brings a shudder over your body, down to your core. Nodding you do what he asks of you, see how he himself is about to undress before you lie back on the soft sheets. Atsumu immediately looks for your lips again to connect them to his.
He hasn’t touched you on your most feminine part yet, and yet you know you’re already wet. He’s making you hungry for more. You can’t think straight anymore.
And even Atsumu doesn’t think clearly anymore, only notices how a tension from him falls with every kiss you return. You’re perfect for him. Everything about you. You’re driving him crazy. It just feels good, even if it will just be for this moment.
Thirsty, he nibbles on your lower lip, glances at you before he closes his eyes again and your tongues unite. Why does he have to be so incredibly sexy? If he doesn’t start right away, you’ll go crazy.
As if Atsumu can read your mind, his hand lying on your cheek moves down to your neck, down to your chilly breast that couldn’t get warm from the wet bikini. He pats over your nipple, notices that it is still hard, and hears you moan at the touch, bend your back. Mischievous, he grins, knows exactly that you like this and plays at your nipple, circle around it, squeezes it, and pulls it lightly.
“Mmmh ah fuck Tsumu, you tease!”
“My, oh my, you call me a tease? You don’t like that? Just say so and I’ll stop, pretty girl.” He says, rub your nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
“Ah mmh, I- I like it…”
“But?”
“I -”
“Say it. What is it you want?”
“You tease… I - I want more ha!” Feverishly you answer him, looking at him with hungry eyes, which he finds incredibly hot. If only he could see that sight more often. He would like to save this expression to call it up again and again. Even if you’re not with him anymore.
“As you wish, princess.”
With the word princess, your heart gives a fast beat. You could get used to something like that. But not to the ridiculous warmth that suddenly flows through your body as Atsumu’s hand plays with your entrance. His tongue does what his hand did to your chest earlier. Circling your nipple while nibbling at it.
“Mh. You’re already so fucking wet. That makes me so horny.” He breathes, gently shoves one of his fingers into you before he takes it out and spreads your juice on your folds. Again he enters you, this time with two fingers, uses his thumb to play with your clit, puts pressure on it and rubs it.
Your body continues to pulsate, you feel so good and enjoy the ever-increasing fullness in you as Atsumu shifts his fingers deeper into you, hits the spongy spot inside you and makes you cry. For a moment he stops nipping on your chest, wants to study your beautiful expression.
The pleasure in you is getting bigger and bigger. You realize how you no longer know where to go with yourself, now that he pats your bud faster, just like his fingers. Unconsciously, you yourself squeeze your breast with your hand, massage it and enjoy the moment. A sight that makes Atsumu’s cock twitch.
“Damn babe, that’s so fucking hot. Go on, touch yourself. I love that.”
Love… such a beautiful word, so bittersweet. You think, but you have little time to speculate about the bitter feelings in you, because you sense your abdomen tightening, how you are about to orgasm. You hear the damp sounds of his fingers in you as they get louder and faster before you try to squeeze your legs together, close your eyes and claw your hand in his arm. You are so close, the knot gets tighter and tighter until your juice creams his hands, your thoughts float on another level.
“Ah Tsumu I’m coming!” Words you didn’t have to say because your warm walls are literally pounding, squeezing his fingers together as your chest moves up and down quickly. Still, his fingers are inside you to tease you. He moves them, getting you to moan again and again. He can’t help but tease you when you look so incredibly sexy.
“Ya like that?”
“Yes, ah Tsumu, please…”
“Please what?”
“Please fuck me.” You sigh, look at him begging, watch him lick his lips thirsty before he pulls his fingers out of you and sits between your legs. With a mix of your juice and his spit, he pumps his length before looking deep into your eyes again.
Was his dick that big last time? You ask yourself, playfully bite your lip before you glance up to him again.
“Spread your legs more for me, princess.” Only the word tingles your stomach again before you nod and obey him.
“Please Tsumu, I want you…”
Now that he’s kneeling in front of you, looking at your still throbbing entrance, he knows there’s no turning back. Groaning, he claps his tip against your hole, rubs his length at your slit and elicits you a sugar-sweet loud that makes him grin mischievously. Right now, you’re his, and he’s yours. Actually, something he could get used to much too quickly if it weren’t so dangerous.
“Tsumu, don’t tease me! Please…” You cry, push your pelvis upwards to absorb his tip and listen to him moan. With his big hands, he grabs you at your waist, pulls you to himself and sinks his length into your deepest inner.
“Oh god, yer pussy feels so good.”
“Ah Ts- so big mh!”
Your lips tremble, at the loud groan you give, at the lustful cry of finally feeling this fullness in you, before he grabs your wrists, bends forward and thrusts into you, while you place your legs tightly around his pelvis. You both look at each other with fiery glances, feel the skin of the other rubbing against the body, the breath lying cold on the chest. Inch by inch, his cock bumps into you, pressing against your walls, before leaving you with an unbearable emptiness again, only to thrust back in with strength a few seconds later. Atsumu is much wilder than last time, much more passionate and aggressive, almost as if he wants to tell you something.
“Mmmh babe, I -, I could fuck you for hours, watch you squirm under me, watch you look at me. You are so hot.” He whispers lovingly before kissing you, his tongue looking for yours. You feel like he was going to say something else, but you don’t have time to think about it. Because again this familiar feeling arises in you, this lust that is getting bigger and bigger and that gives you goosebumps all over your body. You notice how your body is cramping and you’re about to come a second time.
Atsumu senses it. He feels your walls tightening, your legs clinging tighter around him, your pelvis lifting and your head stretching backwards. Just knowing that he can make you come so quickly gives him a push, makes his movements get faster, get deeper. One hand on your ass, he kneads it with a deep growl and grits his teeth, notices that your tight walls make him come too any second.
“Ah fuck, I’m coming too, babe…”
“Mhh oh yeah Tsumu, please… Please fill me with your sperm.” You whine out of your mind, as you reach your second peak and wrap his cock with your juices. Your words are like music in his ears, like sugar. So arousing as they come out of you, that he doesn’t wait much longer and gives in his lust, thrusts one last time deep inside of you, before he shoots his sperm into your inner.
“Fuck, aah, I’m…” Out of breath, he doesn’t even manage to formulate a sentence when he slumps on you, his skin covered by a fine sweat filter. His heart beats quickly against your body, his breath is so flat and fast. Exhausted, he buries his head in the crook of your neck, still feels your walls pounding around his length, almost pushing him out of you.
Yet, in the high of your orgasm, you caress the back of his head, enjoying how he’s lying on top of you, how good it all feels. It all just feels so wonderful. So perfect and right…
Pairing: Osamu x reader (main route), Atsumu x reader
Genre: Social Media-AU, text
Warning: mdni, angst
Scream: 2021/09/06- Monday
Well rested, you open your eyes, look around in the unknown room, when you again realize that you are on vacation. Smiling, you stretch your body before you look to the side and see Atsumu still sleeping next to you.
Without really thinking about it, your hand moves up to his cheek, stroking it gently until Atsumu twitches his face and slowly opens his eyes. You quickly pull your hand back, while your eyes open up wide and get irritated why you just did that.
“What time is it?” Atsumu asks tired as you turn to the side with hot cheeks to check the time on your phone.
“Eh… Six o’clock in the morning.”
“6am? Damn, seeing your pretty face right after getting up is great, but this early in the morning? Ah, Y/n come here.” He complains before he pulls you to himself and holds you in his arms.
Your pretty face… He always says that to you, so why is your heart beating so much faster now? Why does it feel good and at the same time terrible to lie in his arms, to hear his heartbeat and to feel his breath?
“T-Tsumu what are you doing?”
“Well, what do you think? What does it look like? We’ll sleep for another hour or two and then get up. Okay?”
“O, okay.” Although you are not tired, it is easy for you to fall asleep in his arms.
•••
After waking up for the second time, you decide to order breakfast in your room and start the day relaxed with a short tour of the city center. It makes you smile that Atsumu can say something about almost any statue. On one statue, Hinata had once impaled a volleyball, and the boys stood shoulder to shoulder to get the volleyball down again. On the other, Meian had thrown up in a bucket because he had drunk too much, and at a third statue, which is now no longer standing, Bokuto had almost thrown his cell phone out of his hand, because the statue suddenly moved for the selfie with Bokuto. No one could have guessed at night that the statue was a real person dressed and made up like a statue.
Atsumu tells all this with so much joy that you can’t help but stare at him. He makes you happy with his good mood, lets you forget all that had gnawed at your thoughts before. But suddenly he stops, puts his hands in his pockets and smiles calmly.
“You know, I thought the story of this little work of art was really beautiful back then. An old woman told us about it. Wanna hear it?” Atsumu asks you, as he looks at you from the small Stone Lion’s head anchored in an old wall, and glances at your curious face as you nod.
“People say that when you’re in love, ya really love someone sincerely, the lion’s mouth will close when you put yer finger on its tongue.” He whispers to you, keep watching how you react.
But you just pull up an eyebrow, put your hands against your hips, before you stare at him unbelievably.
“Yeah sure. As if I would believe it. Do you really think I’m that stupid?”
You laugh up, but Atsumu grabs you by your shoulders and pushes you to the lion’s head, which is only half a head above you in the wall.
“It’s true, believe me. For Bokuto it worked too.” He adds, and although you know Atsumu is only trying to tease you, you sigh with a giggle.
“All right, if you’ll stop annoying me afterwards.”
Carefully you approach the mouth of this lion head statue with your finger and even though you know absolutely nothing is going to happen, you are still excited. What if this fairy tale is true? What if something actually happens? You ask yourself, and the moment you put your finger on the stone tongue, everything around you becomes silent.
Are you in love? And if so, are you in love with..
“Tsumu!” You scream loudly when Atsumu grabs you with a loud “Boo!” by the waist and frightens you. He immediately bursts into a roaring laughter, almost having to wipe the tears out of his eyes, at the loud squawk of what you have given. Angrily, you punch him in the chest, tell him how stupid he is, even if your anger is only faked.
“Oh boy! Tsumu! You’re such an dickhead!”
“Haha come on babe. That was so funny.” He laughs, only before he hugs you. You can’t hold your pout for long, you also have to giggle.
But you both stop laughing almost at the same time, look deep into each other’s eyes and become silent. Atsumu’s dark brown eyes sparkle at you. His look is serious, yet so soft and loving. Was he always this attractive? Again you hear this knocking in your chest, loud in your ears, faster and faster. You take a small step forward. Atsumu does not move when you step closer once again before he can feel your breath on his lips.
“Eh, what do ya say I show you the beach? Where we played volleyball?” He tries to distract you, takes a step back when you hear how nervous and restless his voice is.
What were you up to? Did you just want to hug him, or were you going to kiss him? You were about to kiss him, weren’t you? Is Akaashi really right? Did you fall in love with Atsumu the whole time? But that would be an absolute taboo. You and Atsumu have always been best friends, nothing more, nothing less.
With a heavy heart, and shaken by your own new knowledge, you just nod, giving him to understand that he should show you the beach.
Pairing: Osamu x reader (main route), Atsumu x reader
Genre: Social Media-AU, text
Warning: mdni, angst NSFW, 18+
Can’t do this anymore: 2021/09/04 - 09/05 - Saturday & Sunday
The last time Atsumu ran up the stairs so fast was when he left the tofu in the pan on the stove when it was still on. Oh hell, you were so mad that you hit him with one of his volleyballs. But now… Are you crying right now? Why on earth did his brother have to kiss you? Why…
Again, he couldn’t promise to do nothing stupid. Atsumu can make it too… even though he knows deep down that it won’t last long, if you should stay with him much longer. It’s nice to always have you with him, to fall asleep next to you, to laugh with you, but at the same time it is so bitter and becomes more and more unbearable to know that you are just friends. That someday you’ll love a man who makes you happy again, and it won’t be Atsumu. Neither it is Osamu, which somehow makes him feel better. Seeing you happy with Osamu would surely tear him apart, even if he would be happy for his brother at the same time, because he would have a real treasure with you by his side.
“Y/n, I’m home.” He shouts in a loud voice into the hallway, takes off his jacket and shoes before he looks around the big apartment and finds you in the kitchen. This bittersweet feeling gets worse every time he sees you. Like now, how you’re pouring chocolate sauce over your strawberries with wet hair, only in his shirt and your cheesy plush socks. And yet this sight is so incredibly sexy.
“Hey… I’m home…” He says again, this time quieter, softer, as you turn around with chocolate sauce at your mouth. Your eyes aren’t red, they’re not swollen, so you didn’t cry. You just look at him surprised before you greet him with an embarrassed “Tsumu!”
Atsumu smiles as he approaches you and wipes the chocolate from the corner of your mouth with his finger before licking it clean.
“I guess we’ll have to practice the food thing again, huh?”
“Dummy!” Now you mirror his laugh before you press your head on his chest and hug him. He smells so good. Probably because he took a shower after training. You hope he doesn’t catch a cold because he drove home with damp hair. Do you think before you let go of him and look at him with a questioning face.
“I really don’t know… What’s wrong with me Tsumu… I don’t know what I want. I, I… I -”
“Hey, calm down for a bit, okay? Osamu, this idiot… I told him not to do anything rash or stupid. The guy can never keep his promises.” Atsumu grumbles before he glances at you again, strokes your cheek, and puts your hair over your shoulder. He looks so worried, even though he’s trying to smile. Is so tender and loving in his dealings with you, how he’s holding you by the waist, his other hand back on your cheek.
You see his lips move. He wants to say something to you again, but you don’t hear him. This desire in you to kiss him is back and even though you know it’s wrong and that he’s your best friend, you have to think about having sex with him again, how passionate and gentle his kisses were.
“Next time I see this idiot, I’m gonna punch him for ya… That prick really thinks he can -”
But he cannot finish his sentence when your lips seal his words. Clumsily you put your arms around his neck, pull him closer to you and try to make the kiss more intimate. It’s wrong, but it feels so good. Just this one more time… You think and sense Atsumu’s lips opening up to lead you the way inside.
What’s he doing here? God, this will not end well. Why are you doing this? You both said it was a onetime thing, right? He should stop before he can’t stop anymore. You’re going to regret this if you keep going. You don’t even know where your head is right now.
Although it is difficult for him, he tries to break away from your kiss, but you keep moving against him, moaning quietly. Fuck… Why do you have to be so irresistible? He thinks, and it’s getting harder and harder for him to let go of you. But the more passionate the kiss gets, the more his hands move to your legs, stroke your bare skin before they slowly stroll up again, to your plump ass before he squeezes it and mutters deep.
“Mmh Tsumu!” You groan between your kisses, now also wander with your hands under his shirt, touch muscle for muscle with your fingertips, before you pull on the fabric to take off his shirt.
No, he can’t. He can’t do it again. Last time, he almost slipped out that he loves you. He can’t do it again. If you’re sleeping together now, he can’t talk himself into being happy with you as his best friend. Then he has to admit that he wants more than just a friendship. Then he won’t be able to look at you without it breaking him. It’s already killing him to have you with him all the time, but still knowing that you’re not actually within his reach. He has to stop this.
“Y/n, hey babe, stop. Stop. We have to stop here. We can’t. I can’t do this…” He says out of breath, squeeze you tightly to his chest so you can’t see him anymore. If you were to see him now, you would know how much all this brings him to despair.
“I- If we keep doing this, cross that line and are no longer just friends, but friends who sleep together, then… I think it will damage our friendship. I can’t do this. I don’t want to lose you because of this… I’m sorry…”
He has so much trouble getting his words out, hiding the trembling in his voice, and yet he knows he can’t lie to you. Even if you don’t see him, he knows you would know if something was bothering him. Your arms on his body get weaker and weaker before you let go of him and look at him with tears in your eyes.
The breaking, he hears it… It numbs his ears, the breaking inside of him. He never wanted to be the reason you were crying when he was supposed to be the one protecting you from exactly that.
What on earth has gotten into you? Did you really want to sleep with your best friend? Sleep with him and then act like nothing happened the next day? You probably made him uncomfortable the first time you did it. Doing something like that again is more than selfish. And so wrong… Like he said, you’re risking your friendship… But even though you know he’s right, your heart is bleeding with pain inside.
“Oh, my God Tsumu… God, I’m so terribly sorry. You’re so right, I- God, what am I doing here? Please forgive me… I was so stupid…” You sniff, but Atsumu wipes your tears as usual.
“Hey, hey babe, calm down, okay? What do ya say when you take another shower? Cool off once and go to sleep? It’s just normal that you’re confused with everything that’s happened here, with Yahiko, Osamu, Watanabe, you and me… When you’re done taking a shower, ya come over to bed, and then we’ll turn off the lights for today, and tomorrow we’ll see what we can do to give yer head a little more clarity. Understood?” Atsumu says, in his usual voice, gives you a slight headbutt before he pushes you into the bathroom and closes the door with his typical broad grin.
What have you done… And why did you do that? You hope so much that your stupid action didn’t jeopardize your friendship.
“Ah god, Y/n you are so stupid!” You hiss and slap your hands on your cheeks.
•••
“Fuck…” Atsumu curses, who leaves the light off in his room as he closes the door and takes off his tense pants. He breathes deeply, notices how the pressure from the falling fabric disappears as he looks down at himself. Of course his body reacted that way. Of course he had a rock-hard dick at your moaning, your breasts that pressed against him through the thin fabric.
“Damn, how fucked up is this…” He sighs again before taking off his shirt, throwing it into the corner of his room and sitting on his bed, dressed only in his shorts. With shaky legs, he sits there, tries to free his thoughts from you, forces himself to think of something else to get rid of his erection. But it’s no use. You always appear in front of his eyes.
Your smile, your moan, your lips, damn, even your sexy body, sitting on him and shaking your breasts while his length is deep inside you, when you’re moaning his name over and over again.
“Fuck, it’s not working.” He hisses frustrated, grabs the handkerchief box in his nightstand before leaning back, and starts jerking off himself, closing his eyes to see you better in front of him. He imagines it’s not his hand wrapping around his length, it’s your cunt. That your walls throb because you’re about to orgasm, and that you’re looking at him with your feverish gaze, telling him you want him while you’re jumping up and down on him.
“Mmmh fuck, yeah babe, I want ya too.” He moans, moves his hand faster, and grit his teeth. He imagines you coming, creaming his cock with your juice and burying your little hands in his hair. How out of breath you lay your head on his chest and your legs start to tremble, How you twitch eagerly at every touch, give a soft whine from you. Your skin is wet from the sweat, hot and so soft. You are just perfect, whispering to him quietly out of breath, how much you love him.
“Ah yes babe, m coming too. Fuck!” He growls, before he reaches for the handkerchief that he has already gotten out and catches his sperm in it. Sighing, he lets himself fall back in his bed, wraps up the handkerchief before pulling up his shorts again. Just then, he gets up to throw the scrap of cloth in the desk bin.
“How pathetic of you Tsumu…” He hisses, disgusted by himself, before he goes to bed, his hands folded behind his head.
He knows you’re going to kick through his door in a few minutes, ask him if it’s okay if you can sleep next to him tonight, and he’ll tell you that you can always do that. You would lie on his chest, fall asleep, while he would lie awake for minutes, sometimes even hours, just stroking you and imagining that all of this would soon cease to exist. That one day you’ll love someone else.
Pairing: Osamu x reader (main route), Atsumu x reader
Genre: Social Media-AU, text
Warning: mdni, angst
One and only: 2021/08/28- Saturday
Thoughtfully, you put your phone down, tell Atsumu he can come in, and watch the door open a bit.
“Hey, are you okay? Ya disappeared faster into the bedroom than Omi-Omi when he sees a crowd of people running towards him….” Atsumu asks, who slowly enters your room. Actually, he also wanted to go to bed. After all, he has to get up early tomorrow because the training starts already at 7 o’clock in the morning. But you went into your room so abruptly, only with a half-hearted “good night”. So he was worried, wanting to ask if you’re fine.
It’s nothing new to you that Atsumu just walks around in his shorts at night. He always sleeps like that. But somehow the sight of his bare skin, his well-trained chest, makes you shy.
“I do not know… I want to sleep but somehow I’m so confused… And then the whole thing with Watanabe and Osamu… I…”
“Hey babe, stop thinking about Samu. Otherwise, you’ll wrinkle even faster than you’d like.” He teases you warmly before he crawls on the bed and sneaks under your blanket. Before you can say anything, you can feel his arms wrap around you, how he pulls you towards him and gives you a kiss on the hairline.
His hand gently grazes your back and you feel his breath on your skin, senses how you get warmer again. What’s wrong with you? Why is your body acting so weird?
“What are ya thinking about?” Atsumu asks, who turns on his back with you in his arms. You hear his heartbeat loud in your ear, notice that it is a little faster than usual. But you don’t think it’s a big deal. Interpret nothing in it.
What you’re thinking about… You don’t think you can tell him that now. Isn’t it weird to tell him that his presence and his brothers are confusing you? You’ve to think of something else to talk about.
“Did you know that Osamu thinks we’re a couple?” Inside of your mind, you’re just shaking and slapping your head. What a stupid question… But that’s the only thing you could think of right now. Atsumu says nothing for a moment before he clicks his tongue and sighs.
“And? Let him think what he wants. I’ve told him so many times we’re just friends, but somehow he never wants to believe it.”
Just friends… Why are those words so bitter in your ears? Why do they make you sad?
“I mean, could ya even imagine that? To date me? Wouldn’t that be weird?”
Every word that comes out of him hurts you so much right now that you’d like to silence him. But you can’t put a pillow on his head and tell him to stop. Might make him skeptical. Again, you’re looking for an excuse not to answer his question. Not to mention you couldn’t even answer the question. Again, all you can think of is a silly subject.
“Tell me, Tsumu, did you have any other relationships besides the one I know about?” You ask and look up at him, when he suddenly looks at you with big eyes. A big question mark is written all over his face before he turns his gaze to the ceiling. No longer looks at you and sighs.
“Only the one you know about, and that was enough for me.” He says with a bitter undertone. Almost broken. Now that you’re thinking about it, you never knew the reason for the breakup. Except they weren’t together anymore.
“Why…?” You ask carefully, feel your heart getting more restless.
“Huh? I didn’t tell you that, did I? Where do I start? Toxic relationships are probably in our family. I really thought that I had fallen in love with the gal, that she was more than just a fling, but she seemed to have noticed that. That I had these silly hearts in my eyes, that I loved her… Because she’s lied to me all over, took advantage of me and ruined me. Maybe ya can remember that I slept a lot in those two months, and almost got kicked out of the volleyball team because my performance was getting worse and worse. I went to the doctor because I couldn’t explain my terrible condition and he did all kinds of tests until he told me that my body was showing symptoms of poisoning. In the end, it turns out this bitch fed me day after day with a small dose of some kind of poison. With the small amount, I never tasted it in the food. But for a longer period… She wanted me to lose everything so I could be hers alone. She was so morbidly jealous that she would have done anything to make sure that I would never come into contact with other people again, that I couldn’t sign any female fans, give them a selfie or a wink. Yeah, and what am I supposed to say, the case against her was dropped because she has been classified as not sane and sent to a psychiatric hospital. And why didn’t I have a girlfriend after her? Well, I’m sick of women. I know I could never trust another woman. The only woman I trust blindly, the hell, I’d even jump off a cliff for her, is you.”
His words are so sad that you can almost hear your heart shattering into a thousand pieces. That Atsumu of all people, who’s such a good guy, had to go through something like this. It breaks you. It makes you angry, and before you know it, the first tears roll down to Atsumu’s chest.
“Hey, tell me, are you crying now, you fool?”
“You’re a fool yourself… Why didn’t you tell me?
“I don’t know. Thought it wasn’t that important. It’s not a big deal.” He says in a quiet voice, wipe away your tears before he puts his hand around you again. But he knows that it wasn’t your last tear he wipes away.
“Not that important? Not that important?! Tsumu, she almost killed you! I - I can’t imagine a life without you. Neither will your friends and family! Tsumu, don’t say that this… that you are not important. You’re the most important person in the world to me!”
Your words are full of hysteria. You are completely off the track as the words come out of you, as you have risen to lend more weight to your words and to look at him angrily. Even if the expression of you is more sweet than angry.
The most important person in the world… And yet, he is not the man who will stand by your side until the end of your life. Because that’s going to be a different man. Maybe even Osamu, if you give him another chance. Atsumu smiles bitterly, looks out the window, away from you. But he can’t look into the darkness for long, when your soft hands pull his face in your direction, make sure that he looks at you again as you bend forward to him, nose-tip at nose-tip.
“Did you hear me? I said you are the most important person to me.”
His eyes widen. He notices his pulse beats faster and feels how his face will soon gain color when he quickly puts his hands around your shoulders, presses you back with your face on his chest before stroking your hair, so you won’t notice how he’s red from head to toe.
“I heard you, babe. You’re also the most important person in the world to me. Now sleep…” Although his voice is weakening, sad, your eyes are getting heavier and before you can continue about telling him how angry you are that he never told you about it, you fall asleep. Atsumu waits a moment longer, makes sure your breathing calms down.
“You’re my one and only. So please don’t leave me so soon.”
He says so quietly that you wouldn’t even understand if you had been awake before he streaches out his hand, turns off the bedside lamp and also closes his eyes.
Pairing: Osamu x reader (main route), Atsumu x reader
Genre: Social Media-AU, text
Warning: mdni, angst
So confused: 2021/08/28- Saturday
You’re still confused, noticing your heart beating wildly, and don’t calm down at the firm grip of Atsumu, who won’t let go of your hand for a second, even though no one can see you out here anymore. With a heavy sigh, he sits down on the ground, pulls you down by your hands towards him on his lap, so that you do not have to sit on the floor.
“I’m really sorry about the kiss. That was really stupid of me.”
Actually, you know this kiss came from earlier only because Watanabe had forced it… But why can’t your heart calm down right now? Why do Atsumu’s words feel so hurtful, even though they are not? Gently he caresses your stomach, holds you tight in his arms.
“I kind of thought… Aaah, I don’t know what I was thinking either. I guess I just didn’t want Osamu to see ya sad.”
He didn’t want his brother to see you sad. Thoughtfully, you look aside at Atsumu’s face, which is so close in front of you that you can only see it blurred. But relaxed, he snorts, closes his eyes, doesn’t see your questioning face.
Were you really sad? Yes, of course it’s a strange feeling to see Osamu with Watanabe. After all, you fell in love with him. But was it really so? Actually, you’re just realizing that it doesn’t make you that sad. No, it just confuses you right now. Does that mean you’ve already closed up with Osamu so quickly? No, that can’t be true. Is it just a defensive reaction from your body that’s trying to tell you, you don’t have a chance with him anyway, so leave it? And what does all this have to do with Atsumu?
“Tsumu I think I-”
Just as you take a deep breath to tell Atsumu that you don’t know what’s going on inside your head, you hear loud voices from the living room.
•••
Not only do you both want to go out for fresh air, Osamu also needs a moment to himself as he goes to the guest bathroom and lets cold water run over his face. It just can’t be. This can’t be happening. Was he really so blind the whole time? The kiss between his brother and you it literally tore Osamu apart. He had the feeling that his heart was breaking and crumbling. You don’t have that feeling with someone you care about only as an employee. He knows this feeling all too well, because back in school he already had this feeling, not as strong as now, but he knows very well that it’s love what he feels for you.
“I really fell in love with you…” He whispers bewildered into the mirror, cannot believe that he only now realizes what had been deep in him. All that with Watanabe, all those weeks he was miserable, wanted to convince himself that he was happy, all that was wrong. He wanted to tell himself that the love for her was real, but it was just as fake as Atsumu’s hair color. Why did he try to convince himself it was a good idea to give the past another chance? Why didn’t he want to see how much you love him? Why was he so stupid and hurt you for her? Why was he so naive, arrogant, and selfish? Why couldn’t he listen to his brother at least once? Why…
But these are not the only questions bothering him. So many other questions go through his mind. Just a few weeks ago you told him you were in love with him, so why is Atsumu by your side now? Why is he kissing you? Why do you let him?
And… What’s he doing with Watanabe? It wouldn’t be fair to lie to her, tell her that he loves her, now that he slowly understands that she’s not the woman he wants to see at his side. No, actually, now that he’s looking at himself in the mirror, she’s the woman who broke him, took away what he really cared about, his friends and you, made his work difficult, put him in such ugly and uncomfortable clothes, made him stay up so long just to watch her stupid shows, took his money to buy stuff only for her. But can he be mad at her? Absolutely not. After all, he is the one who is to blame for everything and he knows it.
But he had already broken your heart. Can he really break Watanabe’s too now? Wouldn’t that be unfair? Desperately he looks out of the small window when he sees you sitting on the terrace with Atsumu. Again, he feels this sting in his chest as he watches you. How his brother caresses your skin is so close to you, and you don’t seem to find it uncomfortable. What are you talking about, he thinks?
Shaking his head, he buries his hands in the sink, takes a deep breath before looking in the mirror. There’s no point in sinking into pity now, especially if he deserved anything but pity. If he still wants to have a chance for you to forgive him for his mistakes, for Watanabe to end it without screaming or anger, he has to act now.
Determined, he walks out, wanting to tell Watanabe that the two should go home to talk about their relationship when he sees her with Suna, her body sitting on his lap. Disgusted, Suna stares at her, tries to push her away from him, but she tries to brush his neck with her fingernails, whisper something in Suna’s ear and seems to see it perfectly fine that she is flirting with Osamu’s friend while Kita is still in the room talking to someone on the phone. Probably his grandma asking if everything is okay.
“Are you done now? I don’t think you’re right in your head… flirting with me even though your boyfriend’s in the house. You realize that’s slutty and that none of us are interested in a chick like you?” Suna hisses madly, gets up and doesn’t care that she’s falling to the ground before he sees Osamu and his eyes grow big for a moment. But they quickly regain their old form.
“Ayumi, what are you doing there with Suna?”
“Osamu, my love, I just wanted to get to know your friends better. But Suna was so mean to me! First, he pulls me to him and then he pretends I’m flirting with him, but I didn’t! You have to believe me.”
“Believe you? I saw everything… Get to know my friends by jumping around their necks?”
“Oh boy, I think you’re overstating things a little.” She says as if she hadn’t just stroked Suna’s neck and chest, licked her lips after whispering something in Suna’s ear. She probably didn’t even really love Osamu, wanted to get close to his famous friends… How embarrassing of him to fall for her. But once again, he won’t be blinded. Osamu knows full well that she tried to wrap Suna around her finger. He never would have reacted like that otherwise.
“I can’t believe it…”
“Osamu, honey, what’s the matter?” She says visibly nervous, walks up to Osamu and wants to grab his arm, but he quickly pulls it away from her, shouts loudly to her that she should not touch him. The entire room is suddenly quiet, even the music stops playing.
“Excuse me?! Who do you think you’re talking to here?”
As if someone had flipped a switch into her, she swaps her previously innocent, sad look for the look of an arrogant beast who thinks she’s so much better than the rest of the world. A real slap in the face, thinks Osamu, who once again realizes how stupid and naive he actually was all the time. How incredibly stupid to think that this woman would love him and especially that he would love her when his dream woman was right in front of him.
“Who I’m talking to… With an arrogant snipe throwing herself at the next best man who has more money than her current boyfriend. What was that? You come back, and as soon as you know that Suna is going to gain fame, you spread your legs like scissors. You really are the last… Get out of here… Take the car keys and drive away in that stupid car, it’s yours anyway. But get out of my sight, you snipe.“ Although Osamu’s loud voice is getting quieter, she is getting more angry and you could almost get scared of her with her mocking laugh.
“Excuse me? Did you really think I am impressed by your words now? To make one thing clear, Miya Osamu! You’re nothing but a pile of misery! A man who can’t even hold the woman he’s loved since childhood. For an idiot like you, I just can’t waste my time. You really are the -”
“Okay, that’s enough.” Suna suddenly interrupts her, who pushes her roughly at the back, past Osamu.
“Hey, I’m not done with that filthy scum!”
“Oh yes you are. And now get out of here if you want to keep doing your boozy modeling jobs.” He clicks with his tongue, pushes her into the hallway and makes sure she doesn’t get tempted to go back into the living room.
Why did he do that now? When Osamu actually deserved the words and especially the pain. What he did to you was so wrong. Suna can’t even remember how many times he was with you in Atsumu’s apartment to comfort you when Atsumu was in Argentina. Well, but in the end, Osamu’s probably his friend after all… Did he want to spare him the embarrassment? How ironic, when he was the one who told Atsumu to pull out the camera to film Watanabe’s or Osamu’s stupid face as soon as something happens. In the end, all he had to do was film the moment when Atsumu pressed his lips on you like a teenager in love. Because Osamu was a broken man at that moment, someone who just realized what was going on and what he had actually lost. To be honest, the extreme closeness between you and Atsumu was something new for Suna too. That’s probably why he doesn’t want to pick on Osamu anymore.
Although Osamu still hears Watanabe’s insults that she shouts out of the hallway, he’s completely blinding them out. Because he sees Atsumu standing with you on the open terrace door, you both look at him with horror but also with pity. How long have you been standing there? Did you hear everything? How humiliating…
“Hey Osamu uh… I- Yeah, so anyway, I’m sorry about what just happened.” Akagi’s voice suddenly sounds from the background. Puzzled, he leans against the kitchen door and looks over at his friend. Looks like everybody in this house knows what just happened.
Although Osamu’s friends apparently knew long before him how fake Watanabe really is. Only he didn’t want to believe it. Maybe this unnecessarily dramatic scene was somehow good. Good to draw a line and focus on his friends, work and himself. Still, he can’t be happy right now. Even if it’s probably good to end a toxic relationship.
“It’s okay. You’ve told me enough times. That was just the confirmation you were right.” He says offended, but you feel a hint of anger in his voice. Is he mad at Watanabe? Angry with himself?
“Yeah, well, that’s true, Osamu, but that still doesn’t give her the right to flirt with your friend in front of your eyes. I think we would all have been happy for you after all if Watanabe had surprised us in a positive way, if she had really changed.” Kita says, who puts a hand on Osamu’s shoulder and looks at him seriously.
“You know, I-I need some time to myself. I’m gonna call a taxi and… and drive home.”
Osamu must feel terrible right now. He must be sad to be so deceived by his biggest love. You know how it feels. It’s not unlike you and Hyuwara. Only the relationship you had wasn’t as manipulative as Osamu’s.
And yet even though Osamu hurt you, you cried yourself into sleep more than once because of him, you’re not mad at him right now. Actually, you’re sorry for him. Asking, you look up at Atsumu, grab him by the sleeve before he nods as if he understood what you were trying to tell him.
“You know, Y/n and I were gonna go anyway, if ya want… Then we can take you with us. It’s just a detour of a few minutes.” Atsumu says, before he gently pulls you towards him, the hand at your waist. And again, you suddenly get incredibly warm on the touch. Your gaze wanders from Atsumu to his brother, who’s just waiting for you to look at him. Nobody says anything for a moment when Osamu breaks the silence again.
“I don’t want to trouble you -”
“Come on, that’s okay, right, babe?”
“Yeah, we’re kind of driving past the store. Dropping you off there doesn’t bother us, Osamu.” You add, and you just see Suna and the other guys look at you skeptically. Even with Kita and Suna, you had let your feelings run freely, were with them when you had felt lonely. Still, none of the men say anything. Each of them just looks at Osamu, waiting for his answer when he just nods gently, brings a soft “okay” out of his lips before Atsumu and you nod, and start saying goodbye to the rest of the men.
You drop him off at his store; you don’t have to talk to him about the whole ride. So what’s going to happen? You drop him off, and go home. A place you really need right now. Because somehow this whole evening is confusing you.
It’s quiet all the way through the drive. Atsumu tries to ease the mood again and again, but his brother doesn’t seem to be really ready for talks. Which is also understandable at the moment. Worried, you glance back at the back seat, where Osamu stares out of the window. You’d like to know what he’s thinking right now.
You don’t notice you’re staring at him until he turns his eyes slightly towards you, looks at you with a shy but sad smile, when you find your head turning away from him and your hands clenched into fists. Atsumu realizes that something is bothering you right now, knows that his brother is the reason. Barely audibly, he sighs before he puts his hand on your leg, the other one still on the steering wheel as he strokes your thigh.
Directly you relax your cramped body, even if your abdomen cannot relax. Because it tingles with the warmth that’s on your skin. Osamu doesn’t miss seeing your shoulders slump again. You seem calmer now that his brother is so close to you. The way he caresses your skin, the way he looks at you so lovingly for a blink of an eye, the way you act in his presence. That’s right, isn’t it?
Bitterly he laughs quietly, shakes his head before he looks out the window again, never looks in your direction again, as it just hurts too much to see you like this with Atsumu. It’s only when the car stops that he glances at you, says goodbye to both of you, and closes the door behind him. Just as he wants to get the key out of his jacket pocket, he turns once again to the car. Atsumu is still there, waiting for Osamu to go to the store before he leaves with you, but Osamu does not move. At least not towards the house.
“Y/n, can I talk to you? Just for a second…” He says when he opens the door to your seat and looks you in the eye.
Irritated, you look at him, are not sure what he wants from you, but Atsumu lets go of your leg, tells you that he can look up some stuff on the phone, before you nod and get skeptically out of the car.
“What’s the matter, Osamu?”
“Look, what I did was really stupid. It was wrong, and I’m really ashamed of everything I did to you. I tried to convince myself that you had no feelings for me. Why, I don’t even know for sure. I took advantage of you and your kindness and were hurting you just because of a woman I don’t even love. Where I was trying to convince myself to love her to somehow defend that you shouldn’t just give up on a long-term relationship. Watanabe should have stayed my ex. I know I can’t undo what I’ve done. And you can be mad at me too, because you have a right to be.”
He pauses for a moment, thinks about how to proceed. Actually, he’d like to ask you to give him one last chance. But he doesn’t dare. He knows he doesn’t deserve it. He’d like to tell you how amazing you look today, how much he’s missed you since you left. How much he missed seeing your smile in the morning, hearing your voice, writing to you about trivial things. How much he’d just like to call you his Miss Miya again, watching you look aside embarrassed. But it would just be selfish to ask you to do that again, when he was the biggest asshole here, probably as much, if not more, than your ex-fiancé. He takes a deep breath before he looks at you again with a sad smile.
“I just hope that someday, when you’re ready, maybe we can talk again, fool around… Maybe sometime again… I just hope that someday we might be able to make a fresh start, even though I could understand if you don’t want to. And I respect that, too. I, uh, I just want to say that I wish you all the best and that you, well, you can come back to the store anytime, or just to me. My door is always open for you Y/n. Eh, I’m really sorry…”
You notice how his words sound lost, honest, but also so sad. Even if you’re still disappointed in him, his words still touch you. Hesitantly, you step forward, put your hand on his arm, and search for his gaze.
“Ignoring you while you’re my best buddy’s brother and at the same time hanging out in our group of friends is gonna be hard, don’t you think? Don’t get me wrong, I’m disappointed and I don’t know how to talk to you right now, or how I feel when I see you, but thank you for your apology. But, please give me time, I need distance to understand what’s happening around me. So… uh well, see you, Osamu…”
He can’t believe your words at all, notices a small spark of hope growing inside of him, even though you didn’t tell him you’d forgive him. But maybe there’s a way for both of you, a way you can go together. Osamu has to pull himself together not to show his joy, just squeeze his lips before he takes your hands firmly into his and looks deep into your eyes.
“Thank you Y/n, thank you!” He’s just saying, before he lets go of your hands, pushes his hand behind you to grab the door handle of the car.
“Come home safe until then, Y/n.” He says with a quiet voice, when he opens the door and closes it, says goodbye to you and Atsumu once again with a sad but somehow happy smile.
Pairing: Osamu x reader (main route), Atsumu x reader
Genre: Social Media-AU, text
Warning: mdni
With you: 2021/09/18 - Saturday
Like on your last date, you’re nervous. But this time not because you’re tense, but because you’re happy to see him again. Even if your nerves are on edge. Somehow, you have to talk to him about what’s going to happen to you two. Are you just friends? Or maybe there is more?
Osamu tried as hard as he did the last time not to tell you where you were going until the end, when he took you to the lake next to his parents’ house. A place where you used to spend so much time. He had prepared another beautiful meal, had a small book with him, which actually belonged to his parents.
Together you laughed until sunset, looking at the children’s pictures from the book. Osamu and Atsumu have always been like the typical siblings. If they weren’t sulking or bickering in the photos, they would make funny faces and destroy the family photos. Even pictures from your school days are in the book. Just pictures of you and Atsumu, Osamu and his friends. None of him and Watanabe. Did he take them out before? No, the photo album is too full for that. Weren’t there any pictures of them? Actually, you don’t really care. You don’t want to waste any more thought on her.
After arriving at the last page, you enjoy the silence for a few minutes, the rustling of the leaves, and the gentle sound of the lake. The soft grass under your bodies and the sun’s rays that slowly fade away before Osamu helps you up when you walk along the lake together.
First shy, then determined, his hand rests on your lower back, caressing you gently while you walk next to each other with no actual distance. You perceive his warmth and his pleasant fragrance. You just have to bring it up again… Not knowing where you are with him is hard to bear, especially when, with everything he’s doing here, your heart is beating faster and faster. You get weak every time you look into his dark eyes, into that gentle smile.
You take a deep breath, walk slower with Osamu’s steps as you open your mouth to ask him the crucial question.
“Y/n, can you sit down for a minute?”
But Osamu interrupts you, pointing to the wooden fence behind you, which protects the people from falling into the lake to the left and right. Right now, you want to get back to your words, want to tell him that you want to talk to him too now, when he steals your words again.
“I need to talk to you, actually I’ve been planning on doing that for a while… But I just didn’t want to overburden you with everything. So, will you sit down?”
His voice is tense, yet never unkind to you. Nodding, you sit on the low fence, watching Osamu squat in front of you, hands on your knees. Even though he says nothing, your heart beats wildly and you unconsciously hold your breath.
“You asked me what you meant to me, what you are to me. And the answer to this question is actually quite easy. For me, you’re not just an employee who supports me in the shop. To me, you’re the woman who walked into my store on May 30th of this year and turned my entire world upside down. On the positive, of course. Because you’re so breathtaking, so wonderful, I can think of nothing but you and your voice, your laugh, your eyes… You’re not just a friend, at least not to me. Because you’re so much more important to me than that, and I long for the days when we got closer. I often think of our kisses, the sex we had… Not because I just want to sleep with you, no… Y/n I have been in love with you for a long time, but unfortunately I noticed it too late. But if you wanted to give me one last chance, not just as a friend, but as a boyfriend, I think I’d be the happiest man on earth.” Osamu says resolutely and lovingly.
His words sound calm, but inside he is about to explode with nervousness. Still, you hardly breathe. Notice how your eyes become glassy with the words that kissed your ears earlier. You don’t know what to say. You’re speechless, even though you have so much to say right now. So it’s true that he also fell in love with you. That he wants more than just a friendship with you.
“Hey Y/n, please say someth-”
“I- I love you too, Osamu.” This time you are the one who interrupts him with a shaky voice before the first tear slowly runs down your cheeks, but Osamu’s thumb captures them. Relieved, he looks up at you, smiles before he gets a little closer.
“M- May I kiss you?”
“Yes, Osamu. Yes, of course.”
You haven’t even said your words, when you already feel his smiling lips on yours as they kiss you gently, as if you were as fragile as butterfly wings.
“I love you so much Y/n, and I’m so glad, so glad…” He whispers to you between your loving kisses. Kisses and words you’ve been waiting for so long. You never thought that this kiss would trigger so many emotions in you. Frustration, pain, love, passion, hunger… All at once. But… You’re so relieved, and even though you feel his skin on yours, know that his words are not an illusion, and all this is not a dream, you don’t want to let him go.
Pairing: Osamu x reader (main route), Atsumu x reader
Genre: Social Media-AU, text
Warning: mdni, angst
Important:Since I am not home in the next few days, I will not be able to upload a new chapter until Saturday. I’m really so so sorry, but where I will be my internet won’t be stable enough to upload the chapters.
Strawberry mochi: 2021/09/09 - Thursday
You check the time on your phone when Osamu walks up to you with a picnic basket and a backpack, shyly waving at you. You two were in the hospital together, and you wrote to each other again, but this is the first meeting after you wrote to him about giving him one last chance.
Osamu is as nervous as you are, but he still has a lot to make up for. He will not get your trust back from now on. He can’t, and he knows it. But he hopes that over time he can prove to you how serious he is and that he will not make another mistake.
A bit strange, you both greet each other, don’t know exactly if you should bow, shake hands or hug. With a weird wave, you both look at the other shyly, before you laugh when Osamu points at the flower arch towards the park.
“Come, pick a nice spot, or rather a free spot.” He corrects himself, because the day is nice, sunny and not too warm, perfect to visit the park. A lot of couples are sitting here, some groups of friends. But you have a good eye, because you quickly find a nice place, in the middle and yet somehow cut off from the others.
You’re about to sit on the grass when Osamu takes off his backpack and pulls out a blanket that he lays out on the floor.
“Here, sit on the blanket. It’s softer.” Osamu says, who in the meantime gets a smaller blanket from his backpack, one you can cover yourself with should you get cold. You pick up the blanket, place it next to you while Osamu puts the backpack aside, mirrors your action before opening the picnic basket. In it are plates, cutlery and glasses for two people, a few smaller finger food dishes as well as your favorite dish from his shop, and two bottles of water, which he gets out and carefully deposit on the blanket piece by piece.
It all looks so great and delicious, you think, and have to smile now that you watch Osamu place everything in front of you. He put a lot of effort into the food. Like always. Why does he have to be so adorable?
One last time he reaches for the picnic basket, wants to close it when you notice a small object.
“Hey Osamu, what’s that in there?” You say and try to look through the small slit that is still open to the contents of the basket. A little irritated, he looks at you. Actually, he had taken everything out of the basket when he opens it again and looks inside.
“Oh, oh, that’s a polaroid camera. I got it once from Suna, but I don’t even know why… I never used it. I don’t know if it works at all.” Osamu answers you as he takes out the camera and examines it.
“Why would he give you something that doesn’t work?”
“I don’t know. It’s still Suna. But we can test it.” he says, and points the camera at you. But you’re quick and turn your head a little to the side, put your hand in front of the camera, and don’t want him to have any silly face of you on that camera. Only you didn’t take Osamu into account, because a few seconds later you feel his hair on your thighs, see the camera in front of your face before you hear the sound of a button, see how slowly a photo comes out of the camera, for now without a printed picture, because it has to develop first.
“Osamu!” you complain, gently hit him in the chest with your fist, but he only chuckles before he takes the camera out of his field of vision and looks up at you. You’re just beautiful. So lovely. He just can’t get enough of you and your smile. He could look at you for hours, and he wouldn’t get bored. No, he feels like every second he gets to see you makes him happier.
You notice how he watches you, almost adores you, when you become embarrassed. But you’re not uncomfortable. Also, it does not bother you that Osamu has made himself comfortable on your lap. On the contrary, you’d like to put your hand on his hair, stroke it and appreciate the moment. But you’re not ready yet. Also, is he? Are you really a person he may love?
“Should we, should we, eat something before it gets completely cold?” You ask him, and only now does he realize he’s got your legs under him. He didn’t notice because everything just feels right and normal with you. He doesn’t have to pretend to be someone else, just feels good in your presence.
“Oh uh… I- I’m sorry I-”
“No, no it’s okay, Osamu.”
“O- okay… To eat the food is probably a good idea.” He sighs, relieved at your words, before he hands you the chopsticks so you can start eating.
After your third rice ball, the countless fruit sticks you have eaten, you are full and can no longer eat, but your eyes remain with the small round ball in front of Osamu. All this time, you’ve been wondering what those little balls are. You can’t remember that he had something like this on the card.
The white ball slightly gives in, as the sticks take it from the can when Osamu leads it to his mouth. But before he can open his lips, he turns to you, noticing how you inspect the food questioningly.
“Do you want to try it?” He asks you, but you only shake your head slightly reddened.
“What- what is that, Osamu?”
“Oh right, you don’t know that yet. I had some time these days to change the menu card a little… And well, I wrote down some new sweets. This is strawberry mochi. In the middle is a strawberry wrapped in chocolate.”
When Osamu describes to you how he made the little dessert, you immediately feel hungry again. It sounds so delicious, and you have to admit, you would like to try what it tastes like. Yet that’s exactly what Osamu seems to notice, because instead of eating the strawberry mochi himself, he swings his chopsticks with the little ball in your direction and looks at you.
“Here, don’t you want to try it? Open your mouth.”
Without thinking further, you nod, open your mouth before the sweet yet fruity ball lands on your tongue, when you close your eyes and enjoy the dessert. Yet it annoys you that there is no room in your stomach for more. It’s just so delicious, you think, when you open your eyes and see Osamu smiling at you. Directly you blush, put your hands in front of your mouth and swallow the last bit of the sweet food.
“What is it? Don’t look at me like that, Osamu!”
“Hm? It just makes me happy that you like my food.”
“You don’t know if I like it.” You want to tease him, stick your tongue out. But he just chuckles.
“I can tell. You know, you’ve got that look of a joyful child when you eat delicious food. And you did exactly that a minute ago. If you want, you can take the box with the rest of the strawberry mochi. Well, only if you like it, of course.”
“Ah, you really are mean Osamu! However, I’ll take it, but only so Tsumu can try it.” You answer him with a slight pout, play offended even though you’re not. But you can’t leave it like that, that he’s the one teasing you. And at the same time, you just can’t stop laughing. A sight that is so wholesome for Osamu. He knows he’s got a long way to go before you can trust him again, but he’s going to try anything.
You sit there for a long time, talk hour after hour, watch people slowly make their way home, now that it’s getting darker and colder. But you have Osamu’s blanket that gives you warmth, his presence that makes time pass faster, and that feeling of doing just the right thing. Because after a long time that you have only spent sad in his presence, you laugh with him, rejoice with him and are actually happy. Of course, you haven’t forgotten all that’s happened between you, but it’s fading away slowly. Something inside you is trying to make you realize it’s right to trust him one last time. Give him one last chance to do everything right.
Meanwhile, you are completely alone in the park, only see a bird fly to its nest, and listen to the silence of the night. Neither of you want to take the first step, get up and finish your date here, neither of you actually wants your togetherness to end. But the blanket hasn’t been enough to keep you warm for a long time now. Osamu had already noticed this half an hour ago, when he had wrapped his jacket around you, holding you in front of his legs, your back at his chest. A gesture that made your heart beat so much faster.
You feel comfortable in his arms, which hold you tightly to himself. You could almost sleep with his deep voice sneaking into your ears. His masculine scent of his aftershave smells so good, and you just feel safe. Yet, you also have the feeling that Osamu is tired and cold, because he supports his chin on your shoulder, his hair tickles your neck lightly and his skin feels icy.
“I think we should go. Don’t you think?” His question almost sounds sad.
“Yeah, we should probably go, you have to work tomorrow…”
“Yes… Come on, I’ll take you home.” Answer Osamu as his warmth leaves your back, while he gets up and stands in front of you. With his outstretched hand, he waits for you to put your hand in it to help you up before he stuffs everything back in his backpack and picnic basket, except for the can of strawberry mochi before you make your way home.
For the first time, you’re not happy to be on your doorstep again, falling right into your bed, where it’s warm and soft. Because you don’t want to say goodbye to Osamu.
“Well, then… then good night, Osamu.”
“Yeah, good night, Y/n…” He says, squeezes you lightly at the shoulders because he doesn’t know what is most appropriate now before he wants to turn around. But he feels your hand clutching into his jacket, you stop him from going away any further.
“Osamu I-” I don’t want you to go, please stay here. Let me go with you. Come with me. Don’t go yet. All these phrases are buzzing around in your head right now, but none of them leave your lips. You’re too afraid, don’t dare. For fear that everything is going too fast, that maybe there is some doubt in you and you are afraid that he might hurt you if you rush everything now. That you fall in love with him even deeper while you still don’t know if he feels the same way about you.
As if he could read your mind, he smiles sadly before he takes a step towards you and covers your cheeks with his hands. In his dark eyes you see your outline until Osamu is too close to you, when you close your eyes and feel a gentle kiss on your forehead what makes your heart go crazy.
“Good night Y/n, sleep well and dream of something nice. See you soon my MVE…”
