#harem pants

datsderbunnyblog:

cosmicrhetoric:

trousers of time esque alternative universe where vetinari put on the agsvdndkd never mind. never mind. post cancelled actually i dont want the ability to think of a universe where he actually put on the harem pants

Plot twist: Vetinari was perfectly happy to put on the harem pants all along until Nobby made the joke, at which point he was like “Damn it, now I can’t wear them, can I?”

“Very well.” Vetinari pushed his paperwork aside. “If there is more suitable clothing in your bag, I will get changed and we can take a look at Al-Khali.”

“Oh, gods…”

“Sorry, sergeant?”

“Oh, good, sir.”

“Good.” Vetinari began to pull other items out of the liberated sack. There was a set of juggler’s clubs, a bag of colored balls and finally a placard, such as might be placed to one side of the stage during an artist’s performance.

“‘Gulli, Gulli and Beti,’” he read. “‘Exotic tricks and dances.’ Hmm,” he added. “It would seem there was a lady among the owners of this sack.”

The watchmen looked at the gauzy material that came out of the sack next. Nobby’s eyes bulged.

“What are them?”

“I believe they are called harem pants, corporal.”

“They’re very-”

“Curiously, the purpose of the clothing of the nautch girl or exotic dancer has always been less to reveal and more to suggest the imminence of revelation,” said the Patrician.

Nobby looked down at his costume, and then at Sergeant Al-Colon in his costume, and said cheerfully, “Well, I ain’t sure it’s going to suit you, sir.”

He regretted the words immediately.

“I hadn’t intended that they should suit me ,” said the Patrician calmly. “Please pass me your fez, Corporal Beti.”

-Jingo, Terry Pratchett

Lazy days/ festival attire