#holla holla
Ja Rule — Aug. 12th, 1999
< rapper, singer, songwriter, actor >
Insta: mtv.archives
Twitter: mtvarchivez
Take a seat, boys and girls, I have some wonderful news.
Because I am a terrible human being and somehow there’s this awful thing called life that conspires to drag me away from Tumblr and all the things that I want to do with it, I didn’t mark a few milestones recently. I’ve blown past a few big follower ones, which makes you all wonderful and brilliant.* Thank you.
The other thing is that it’s been over a year since I started this whole thing, and for pretty much every one of the days in that over-a-year, I’ve been pumping out kinky words for you all to read. It means there’s a hell of a lot of words here now. Some might even say too many.
Which is why I’m going to do even more. Just, a few of them are going to be a little bit different. I’m now open to be commissioned.
From today, I’m going to be offering commissions during the Christmas period. That means from right now up until the end of December at the very least, you can commission words to come right out of my head, travel down my arms and clamber out of my fingertips like tiny literary children. They will then be yours, to do with as you will.**
Not only this, but if you like you can have those selfsame words bypass my arms entirely and pop out of my mouth instead. If you’re feeling particularly indulgent, you can have both. Now how about that.
Honestly, I have no idea how popular this is going to be. I don’t know whether I’ll get one solitary request, or dozens. There are enough of you that either could be the case, but either way this seems like a good direction to take the Tumblr in, at least for a little while.
So, without further ado, here is what I’m offering.
Personal Caption - $10
In my mind everyone has a single picture that they find inspires them, something they have locked away on their phone, or their computer, that they can look at occasionally and just draw from. Maybe you want to see how I interpret it, where it takes my mind. Or perhaps it’s a picture you took, or of you; either way, I will caption it in the same way I do on the Tumblr. Only this one will be for you. It doesn’t even have to be kinky.
Personal Caption & Audio - $25
As above, only you get a digital recording of me reading the caption, as written. If you don’t already know what I sound like, I’ve done a few before.
The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock
Just Audio - $20
This is bordering on the narcissistic, but I felt it had to be included. If there’s a particular post of mine you’ve particularly loved, that you’d like to hear me read, then I’ll create a digital recording of it for you. Me, reading my own words. Inevitable smugness provided free of charge.
Short Story - $75
Crossing the border from ‘personal indulgence’ into 'potential Christmas present’, we can talk about a short story (2000-3000 words) that you’d like to commission, including kinks, themes, characters, scenes. Whatever you like, really.*** So long as your email isn’t completely terrifying, I’ll even throw in a Skype call to hammer out the details.
Short Story & Audio - $100
The short story, with all that entails, and I’ll record myself reading it aloud for you, too. As I’ve done with my previous short stories.
To set up a commission, please email me at mytrousersrolled [at] gmail [dot] com with the subject line 'Commission’, and we can work from there. Although it would probably be helpful if you said what it was you were after, too.
So let’s see if this works. For too long I’ve been more than a little detached from all you lovely readers, and hopefully this is a way to change that.
I hope you’re all having a lovely winter, because I’m freezing my perfectly formed balls off here in London.
As ever,
C x
*Especially you.
**Creative Commons License applies. Basically, don’t steal my words and claim them for your own, please.
***I will, however, draw the line at anything illegal (children, animals, murder, etc.), or particularly personally distasteful. (Excessive blood, scat, etc.)
