#hope youll enjoy the chapter

“I’m not alone - It’s just me and your ghost and this cripplin’ depression.” - blackbear, me & ur ghost

Descripiton:A long time ago, there was a peaceful state ruling over the Lanes of Zaun. Yet one day, the protector was murdered by his rival and Lanes had gone to shit ever since, leading to the establishment of an independent Firelight base just out of Zaun. But this peace was to come to end soon with old friends coming back, rising from the dead, and getting killed.

Part summary: Watching you die had led Ekko to a deep depression - until he gets an amazing idea that is able to bring him back on his feet.

A/N: This chapter is much shorter, also more light than the last one I think (since the last one was overly serious) and it’s also bringing us to the time when Ekko will be able to shatter the time.

Warnings: Depression, suicidal tendencies, gore, blood…

Tagging:@sweetcreamlatte​

Word count: 3.9 K

Masterlist:H E R E

Time, to most people, will be an unsolvable conundrum that cannot be understood.
It can fly by extremely quickly one day and the other it’s just pure torture to endure every second of every minute. On days like those, nothing feels good, nothing feels happy as if every emotion left the world just like that. On days like those, the world appears like nothing more than a few shades of grey smudged and  Ekko realized that maybe more than some were able to understand the flow of time, since, at that point, he was one of those who were counting each second.

His brain was not able to cope with the sudden hurt of pain inside his chest. The man felt his organs bleeding out, pulsing, tightening, being torn apart, burned alive. He was bringing your body even closer, feeling the blood coldening in the night air; summer nighttime and its peacefulness was something you loved dearly… Or at least the smell of it. Ekko wasn’t able to fight his need to hold onto your body for a little bit longer, while you were still warm and soft; as if this had the power to bring you back among the living.
Jinx watched it all with her head leaned to her shoulder, loading her gun. At first, she was devastated by her own choices; how, in the name of God, was she ruthless enough to stab her own former best friend to death? What kind of a monster did you have to be to carry out this deed?

The pain inside her chest intensified as she watched Ekko tugging on your arms, smoothing your face as he cried, mumbling all sorts of stuff with panic in his voice. His fingers were smudging blood all over your face, making the sight even worse.
And in the spawn of the next few seconds, Jinx straightened herself, scoffed, and climbed back on her feet; she pulled the switch up as she rationalized all the actions. It wasn’t on her in the end, was it?
Poor Jinx, poor her, was in imminent danger because you’d surely kill her as soon as you’d have a clear vision of her. She had to act in self-defense… Also, Milo was right.
No matter which angle she looked at the issue from, you were an enemy. This was, indeed, a misery - but you were a Firelight based on the mark sprayed all over the back of your coat. Your people tried to kill Jinx countless times (with Ekko being the only one who almost succeeded), so what reason did she have to spare you? Because you were childhood friends? Oh, really? Where were you when Silco lead her away from the explosion site? Nostalgia was weak reasoning used by first-class pussies. And Jinx wasn’t a pussy.

Jinx’s cackling was something to catch both Vi and Ekko’s attention. This woman was far too gone to be called mentally sane. She had blood all over her body, clothes, and hands and even through that, Jinx simply chose to laugh it away. She was a freak. A monster.
Ekko’s eyes snapped in Jinx’s direction as he heard Vi approaching. The man rose his palm up, telling Vi to back off immediately; this was his debt to settle and the man was planning on going in with one goal in his mind - only one of them was to leave that bridge alive. And he didn’t who will it be. Either he’ll avenge (despite Vi’s longing to be reunited with her younger sister) or he’ll be killed, following you to the other side.
Caitlyn, seeing the clear determination written in Ekko’s expression caught Vi’s palm, tugging her away as the man picked himself back on his feet, picking up a long wrench that fell out of his backpack. Beaten to death was a brutal way to go, but knowing that Jinx brought it on herself was probably even worse. Vi knew he had it in him; he was in such an overload of emotion that begging or crying wouldn’t let him stop… Which turned out false just a few minutes later, but Vi couldn’t know that. Even Ekko would swear that at that moment, he had it in him.

“Leave them to it. Ekko will be fine, he’s a fighter.” - Caitlyn hissed at Vi, begging her to leave finally as she pushed the leather casing closer to her chest. The gemstone was currently her top priority; it needed to be secured and put away for good, hidden in Jayce’s laboratory.
Caitlyn was feeling genuinely horrible, tired, and beaten up, but getting Vi out was more important than that. Her leg was bleeding out and each step hurt her. They had to go right now; knowing that, Cait put her arm around Vi’s shoulder, letting the woman catch her waist. - “We got to go before she steals this.” - But Vi didn’t move an inch. The woman was standing there, watching her sister loading up her gun as she snickered in the direction of their friend. Was she about to kill him too?
As Caitlyn waited by Vi’s side, she also understood the inner fight Vi had with herself regarding Jinx. How was she justifying all of this? That Jinx was just too stressed out? Scared? Nervous? Confused? Anything could justify this. Anything. Finally, Ekko turned his head to them, telling them to leave immediately, which seemingly amused Jinx even more. The corners of her lips rose higher as she watched the man in front of her. And with that, both the women left.

Honestly, if you’d ask him about how it all went down, he’d be barely able to tell you anything.
His mind got fuzzy and foggy after he turned his face to look at Jinx. Ekko was only able to recall three things cleary clearly; Jinx cackling as she taunted him more, his palm tugging out his old pocket watch in hopes of luring Powder out, and the vulnerable terrified gaze she gave him as he squatted on her, getting ready to give her the final blow…
The very last thing he remembered crystal clear was the color of your eyes as he laid next to you, looking into your cold, emotionless face. He was laying on his back with intense pain circling throughout his body, barely being able to breathe. For a moment, he thought that was it - that he was to die there by your side. And Ekko was to take this sentence with grace and a smile on his lips as he caught your cold palm in his. The man was ready to go - why would he stay in a world that didn’t have you in it? What would be the point in that?

But as he laid on his back, the time was flying by and he was still alive and awake.
The pain wasn’t enough to knock him out on its own and the blood loss wasn’t enough for him to bleed out. What was he supposed to do now? Wait until someone finds him and shoots him to his head as mercy? Looking at you, he was trying to figure out what would you do in a situation like this.
You’d pick yourself up before it would be too late - you wouldn’t just lay there, waiting to die. You’d fight ‘cause the life you lived didn’t belong to you only; your people needed you to lead them. That was right. Your people needed Ekko and now they needed him more than ever.

And so he did pick himself up - with great trouble, the man tumbled back on his feet, trying to catch his breath as he picked up his old, trusty, and malfunctioning hoverboard. As soon as Ekko was standing fully on his feet, he knew that his ankle was either sprangled or broken.
For one last time, he encouraged himself to take in the sight of you as he turned on his feet to get out of the bridge. It took him an hour; the man was in pain, whining with each step, only pushing himself to go forward because his conscience told him to. The people needed him to lead them and ensure their safety.

The night was already ending when Ekko found himself a safe spot near the entrance to Zaun.
He felt hidden enough to close his eyes to regain some of his strength for the upcoming journey back - and Ekko, more than anyone else, knew that the journey will be a long and dangerous one. The nap he took was not a pleasant one; the events of the night haunted him in his sleep and he had to relive all of it at least three times before rumbling woke him up. Someone was right beside him, taking a deep look at his technology. It could’ve been a child or an intrigued adult, but they could be dangerous nonetheless - yet then Ekko listened into their mumbling.
“This is wonderful, simply wonderful.” - The person said, rotating the metal construct between their fingers. With that, Ekko finally dared to stick his head out and take a look at the intruder; and to his surprise, it was a creature called Yordle. Yordles were ancient wise beings with memories of the old world; the world of bloodshed and Arcana and the ones who were trying to keep the modern world in check. Without a doubt, Ekko thought to himself, this Yordle would be very intrigued by Y/N’s abilities.

Heimerdinger helped Ekko reach the colony safely, helping Ekko repair the board once more and leading it behind himself through shady alleys and empty streets; by the evening, they were both safely back at Ekko’s where he got his ankle fixed up.
To his surprise, nobody asked about you - either they assumed you carried on with the journey to the council or… Or knew what happened. Ekko got his answer early in the morning. As the nightmare woke him up again, he decided to sit in front of the opened window for a bit and to try to occupy his mind with pocket watches since putting them apart and back together always calmed him down.
Looking down, right on the Wall, Chloe was already working on a new portrait. To his expectations, he’d recognize the shape of your lips anywhere; pocket watches were suddenly forgotten as he leaned his palms into the window frame, lowering his head and letting the tears drop down onto his palms.

If you were there, you’d smack it out of him - what was he doing with his life? Aimlessly wandering around the colony, not being able to connect to the present, trapped in the past, and not even daring to think about the future.
People started to ask him about a lot of things that you used to run; one of the main topics was a coal delivery deal with the demon named Butcher, who lived in the Lanes, and another one was fresh vegetable delivery that was late. And shortening the amount of children’s clothing for the winter, since it got cold in the colony. For you, these issues were your everyday bread.
You were an amazing haggler, spokesperson, and negotiator; yet for the hotheaded Ekko, these deals were pretty hard to go through. He was trying, he was trying to live by the pact you made all these years ago, but something was nudging him on the back of his head; especially when he walked around your accommodation - the place was dark, the dust was settling in and the air must’ve been awfully rotten since nobody opened up the window in weeks. But no matter what, Ekko forbade anyone from even coming close to that accommodation. It had all your stuff in there, intact in its place, just like he remembered it and he wanted it to stay like that.

As the days and weeks passed by, his mental situation wasn’t getting any better. In fact, it was deteriorating at an insanely fast pace. Day by day, he was falling into the dark hole deeper and deeper; no matter what he did, whether he tried playing with his notorious pocket watches, talking to people, or working with Heimer on new inventions, nothing was enough to keep him check. It felt like he lost a part of himself that night and that part was nowhere to be found.

The night was on his mind each time he opened up his eyes in the morning, as he first looked out of the window and watched the life moving forward. You loved this more than anything else in the whole world, you used to say - the sunshine sprinkling on the colorful walls, lighting up all the leaves of the mighty trees, and bringing out the innocent blue of the skies above. Kids were playing, squealing, and laughing and all the adults were calmer - there was enough food, warm fresh air, and serenity in the air. Summer was the most beautiful time of the year in the colony, yet the view alone was bringing Ekko many memories. And all of the memories were hurting him.
It usually got even worse when the night came and he was left alone. This usually meant that as soon as he opened the door leading into his workshop, the darkest memories and thoughts started to resurface in his mind once more. There was even a time when his mind was rationalizing the worst possible solution to all of this - whether to follow you to the other side or not. It was at that moment that Ekko went insane (at least according to himself).

“WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?!” - A sweet voice yelled all over the rooftop he was standing at. He had just pushed one of his feet over the edge, taking a deep breath, ready to go down right then and there. Yet the voice made him jump back to the rooftop, falling flat to his ass.
The man just sat there, looking down onto the empty street as he struggled to breathe. His palms started shaking, he was sweaty and there was this ice-cold feeling traveling back and forth on his spine. It couldn’t be. It wasn’t real. How did he know the woman wasn’t there?
Simply - her portrait, with a crooked smile, was painted on the Wall of remembrance. Also because he watched her die in his arms a few weeks back. And even though that, Ekko heard you walking closer to him, kneeling down and pulling him further from the edge. Instead of touch, he felt a weird warm sensation surrounding his shoulders as you pressed your body onto his, smoothing his hair.

It was that bad, huh? The man was so desperate and depressed that he attempted to jump off a roof - and in that desperation, something broke inside of him; making him see shit. But at that moment, he was so fucked that he barely cared about you being real or not - Ekko circled his palm around your forearm as he wept, drying out the tears. You sure as fuck weren’t real, but you were there. And that was what counted. - “You fucking idiot. You fucker. Absolute moron.” - You mumbled, kissing his temple.
Yep, this definitely wasn’t real, but also was everything that he got. Public affection was something you weren’t able to give or accept (at that point in your lives) so this must’ve been some strange version of real you viewed through his lenses. - “This wouldn’t have solved shit, you idiot. You’d only make us suffer more. Our people fucking need you and all you can think of is me being dead. Come on now.” - With that, you pulled him back to his feet, smiling kindly as you smoothed his cheek. You looked so proud and happy.

“You need to start forgetting about me. This won’t be good for you long-term, but… I’ll be here as long as your brain assumes you need training wheels.” - With that, you put the hand down and smiled at him sadly. - “Driving yourself crazy isn’t a solution. No one can ever replace me in your eyes, but if you’d jump off that roof… Ekko, think about the consequence. I know you can’t see it, but there’s a lot more in you than you imagine - you’re the only ones our youngsters are willing to listen to and you make sure of our technological advancement… And you’re the only one who can fix that damn plumbing issue during the winter.”
“Is it because I’m small and I can fit anywhere? That ain’t fair.”
“Maybe.” - You joked, making both of you chuckle. The man didn’t care if you were real or fake, if he lost his mind if he was just daydreaming about you… - “You’re not insane if you’re asking that.” - It was a fast answer; but knowing you were a projection made up by his brain as a defense mechanism, he wasn’t to be worried by you suddenly answering to things he was thinking.
“And I’m still here talking to you.”
“When you put it that way, it sounds weird. I’ll admit that. I’m inside your head - but that doesn’t mean that I’m not real to some degree, yannow?” - With that, you caught his palm in yours as you led him back to the safety of the staircase, making sure he won’t get any second thoughts. - “You’re technically arguing with a part of yourself, but does that necessarily have to be bad? I’m the memories you have of me, I’m everything you knew about me and everything you wished me to be. Ekko, you’re starting to cope, which is a good thing. But you should see a shrimp if you’ll keep seeing me long-term.” - And with that, you watched as he took the first step down. The man watched as you let his hand go with a smile, staying on the rooftop by yourself.

“Are you not coming with me? I’m unsure as to how this entire hallucination thing works.” - Ekko joked back, but you took in a deep breath, raising your hands above your head.
“I’ve been dead for a month and a half, come on now. It’s been kinda boring and it gets kinda repetitive. I think it’s fair that I wanna take a moment off and look around.” - And so, he closed the cover and walked back to the colony with an uneasy feeling in his stomach - now that he got hallucinations, he didn’t want them to go away. The worst thing about it probably was that he didn’t precisely know how to evoke you. It happened when he least expected it - he was laying in his bed with palms under his head, watching the ceiling above him, longing to just hear your voice. And just when the pain in his chest got unbearable, you entered the room while drying your hair with a towel, as if you simply got out of the shower.

“I told you this isn’t healthy for you, Ekko. You’re only hurting yourself more, yannow?” - Putting the towel aside, you put your palms on your hips and walked around the room. The man picked himself up to sit straight, watching you waltzing around the room, taking in the surroundings. - “The portrait is very good. Tell Chloe I like it.”
“There’s no reason you should be painted on that wall. Any of that shouldn’t have happened… Not to you… ”- Ekko answered, picking himself up to stand next to you while you both watched the wall. At first, you nodded before you started to chuckle quietly. - “What?”
“It still happened nonetheless. Jinx saw a moment of vulnerability and did what she felt was right to do. You not agreeing will really not bring me back, dumbass.” - Still chuckling, you walked around the room, watching all the new tech-thingies Ekko was working on with Heimer. While Heimer hated to use Arcana during his work, Ekko talked him down to using some of it. - “This is simply impressive. Heimer loves working with you.”
“You can’t know that, you’ve never seen him or talked to him.”
“Oh boo-hoo, I’m a hallucination inside your head so I just base my opinions on the things inside your brain. You yourself know he loves it. You’re so alike, both intrigued by the limits of infinity. I think Heimer really is feeling bad for not giving Jayce and Victor the same confidence.” - As you walked around, you picked the golden pocket watch up, playing with the small wheel on the side, turning the clock hands backward. Ekko didn’t know he picked the watch himself and that he was staring at it intensely; he saw you holding it. And with a soft smile, you whispered… - “Wouldn’t you look at that… Ekko, the boy who shattered time. Wouldn’t that sound cool?”

Suddenly, Ekko took in a deep breath as his eyes widened. Your face contracted into a sweet smile as you handed him the watch, raising one of your eyebrows. - “Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”
“I’m not suggesting anything because once again, I am not real. You are suggesting the possibility of time travel…”
“Therefore changing the time…And events that had happened in the past and even saving…” - At that, the boy chuckled to himself, looking you in the eyes.
“But you won’t be able to it on your own, will you? You played with the thought since we were kids, but you never imagined you’d be able to ever achieve that.” - And with that, you looked each other in the eyes, and as your palms squeezed Ekko’s, he felt the warm sensation once more. - “Heimerdinger.” - You both said at once with huge smiles on your lips. Just a few minutes after that, Ekko went to sleep - and for the first time in weeks, he was filled with hope and great expectations. Because being able to travel through time wasn’t a fun option anymore - for him, it had become a necessity.