#horror review

What is this show?

Mike Flanagan, creator of the Haunting of Hill House show, came back to Netflix to deliver us from [give me a sec to come up with something that rhymes with evil and means bad shows or something]. This show centers on the residents of the sleepy Crockett Island when a mysterious new priest steps in and all things spooky and miraculous (?) start happening.

How scary is it?

It is pretty similar to Haunting of Hill House in that it takes a lot of time and care developing its characters and takes sometime to unleash the horror. Some people may find it slow but I think this works to great effect, as it helps us get attached to the characters and grounded in the world so when the real sinister stuff starts happening, it feels very visceral, like it’s happening to people you know. That said, there are moments that reach pretty high levels of terror. It’s great.

It’s particularly chilling if you were raised Catholic.

Jump Scares?

A bit, yeah.

Is there blood and gore?

:)

On a scale of 1 - 10 (10 being Alien: Covenant [I need a new scale for this, I don’t remember Alien: Covenant]), how dumb were the characters?

There are those who act against their own self-interest but in a way that feels all too real. Maybe a 5/10 for standard human levels of dumb.

Anyways, yeah I love this show. I think it outdoes Hill House in that it communicates its big ideas more effectively. There are once again quite a lot of monologues as is Mike Flanagan’s way, but he writes them well and the actors really give them their all. Hamish Linklater delivering homilies goes crazy. The characters are each drawn out with a lot of empathy and you grow to understand each one pretty intimately. The island town itself feels very real and proved a very good setting for this horror story, with its isolation and the fact that it felt like a character unto itself. It had a hold over all the characters, especially the two main characters who wanted to escape it but ended up back in its grasp.

This is pretty close to perfect storytelling. I’m tempted to say it’s the best horror show out there. The only one that comes to mind that may be better is The Terror season 1. But, I do think more people would enjoy this one. Sure, I’ll give this bad boy a 10/10.

Spoiler-y random thoughts below.

God damn do I love the vampire/angel design.

On that note, I’m just gonna put it out there that I’m pretty sure it wasn’t actually an angel, just a vampire in a world where vampires aren’t part of the cultural lexicon.

The scene with the halo on the vampire, the scene with the vampire in the coat and hat shushing Paul, the scene with the vampire in the chasuble. YES!

I was pretty terrified in the moments leading up to the vampire appearing at the church.

It’s on site with Bev Keene.

Riley in the boat will haunt me. Very good stuff.

James Wan went back to horror and went absolutely crazy.

What is this movie?

A woman with a lot of repressed childhood memories has visions of grizzly murders and discovers that those murders are actually taking place. I won’t go into it any further because this is a super God damn weird movie and I shouldn’t spoil anything.

How scary is it?

It’s not as scary as some of James Wan’s other movies, the first two Insidious and Conjuring movies in particular. It does start off somewhat like those movies, and there are some really scary sequences in the beginning. It evolves into something a bit more slasher-y and joyously bonkers partway through that still has creepy imagery and fun but isn’t super scary. Probably 6/10 for scares.

Jump scares?

A bit yeah.

Is there blood and gore?

Better believe it

On a scale of 1 - 10 (10 being Alien: Covenant), how dumb were the characters?

Maybe a 6/10. You should see how one of these idiots parks a car on a cliff just for the shot.

Does that story make logical sense if you think about it too long?

I mean, it ties pretty well together but there are aspects that make you go, “oh huh, that’s stupid but fun.”

This is a big and bold horror movie that I wasn’t expecting. I didn’t know too much going in and thought it would be a bit like the Conjuring and Insidious and was I ever wrong. James Wan dives into his entire bag of tricks and pulls out things I have never seen before. I actually said, “What the fuck?” aloud during one of the twists. This movie will keep you on your toes. It’s almost fucking funny at times. This is a very campy movie and you can tell everyone had a blast making it.

Not all of it comes together super well. This is probably a matter of preference but I do like the classical strings that play during some of the scary parts, and I really didn’t like the electric guitar that played during others. I realize this must be an homage to an era of horror movies, but still, it was jarring for me.

Anyways, there is a strong chance you’ll either love this movie or just hate it. If you’re here, you’ll probably end up closer to the former camp. I’ll give this a7/10

Spoiler-y thoughts below

Kekoa managed to chase down and hold his own in a fight against a monster who would later 1 v 20 the entire precinct. What a man.

Annabelle Wallis’s face on the back of Gabriel’s head was too good.

The fucking chair throw was too funny.

Hey, I just watched this show on Netflix and wanted to talk about it cuz I liked it.

What kind of show is this?

Well, it’s a weird surreal limited horror series that many have called “Lynchian.” It all has a very dreamlike logic but somehow stays accessible and engaging throughout the eight episodes. It’s also being described as a horror noir which I think is pretty apt.

So what’s it about?

A young filmmaker in 1990s LA seeks revenge on a producer who stole her movie. She goes to a witch to cast a curse on said producer. Things go awry.

Is it scary?

The scares are fairly spaced out, so it’s pretty moderately scary for a tv show. It does have some good frightening moments and an awful lot of body horror. If you like body horror and generally gross weird stuff, well this is for you, my friend.

Like I said, I think this is a great show. If you liked the series Channel Zero, this is basically season 5. It has a compelling story filled with characters you don’t necessarily root for but are interested in following. Rosa Salazar goes crazy in it. Catherine Keener plays a hell of a witch. The setting and style of the show are great, really pulls you into a grimy sundrenched 1990s LA. It’s also pretty funny. It is ever so slightly detached from reality that characters will say things that are hilarious taken out of context.

The one problem I can think of that I did have with this show is the end felt a bit rushed. If we dwelled a bit more on the fallout from the climax it would have been a bit more satisfying.

That said, I’ll give this bad boy an 8/10

Manny Jacinto is also there, kind of not enough, but very pleasant to just have around.