#how embarrassing for you if you pretend to believe it

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(I am an exam invigilator at a university. The students have been filing into the exam hall and finding their allocated seats.)

Me: “We have given each of you a black pen for this exam. You are free to use your own, but they are there if you need them. I know they look red with the top, but I assure you: they are black.”

Student: “Isn’t that a bit racist?”

Me:“What?”

Student: “Only offering black. It’s like you’re saying black people are only here to do our work for us.”

(She looks around at some of the black students, trying to gain support. Most of them look away while others stare at her in disbelief.)

Me: “You’re only allowed to write in black or blue during this exam, and we only have black pens at the moment because that is what was ordered.”

Student:*rolls her eyes* “Still sounds pretty sexist to me.”

Other Student:*mumbles*“Sounds f****** stupid to me.”

(She glared at him as several of the students around us laughed. I asked for any questions and began the exam. During the 50 minutes, she stared at me repeatedly with a smug expression. At the end of the day I bumped into one of the lecturers/tutors in the car park, who told me the student had complained about me “bullying her into submission” because she disagreed with the racist practices at the university. The tutor was surprised and confused because the student hadn’t fully explained what had happened. After explaining fully, the tutor sighed and told me she would handle everything, and not to worry about it. It was quite satisfying when a few months later during resits, I could hear the student outside the hall, saying how she had gotten someone fired for “flagrant racism and misogyny,” only to see her face deflate when I opened the door to let everyone in.)


[Enid rolls her eyes]

Yeah, no part of this happened.

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