#hyunark

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TW / DEATH

for as long as jaemin can remember, he’s had a strong sense of self. he knew who he was, he knew where he came from and was through on through proud of each and every aspect of his life that made him him. but there are days, certain days – specific days – that jaemin wished he was anyone but himself. these were the days he much liked to spend alone. one day in particular was among those that could coax this certain reaction from him. and unlike himself, jaemin finds himself by the by, on the side of the road with no one to turn to.

( of course, he had people to turn to but today of all days was among those days that he’d rather not be with those people –

he’d rather be saved from the pitiful looks and the sympathetic gazes as they all tell him they’re sorry for his loss and that today is just another day he should be grateful but it’s certain that jaemin is anything but grateful. 

in fact, today – he’s the opposite )

he’s had the bouquet in his hand for hours, stuck at the bus stop  –  urging his sense of self to be strong and to make his travel to the mausoleum quick before it begins to rain. somehow, it always rains on this day.

but he sits there for a while, continues to do so even after the rain begins to fall and the tips of his sneakers begin to dampen ; the flowers laid on the side of the bench next to him. not a inch moved, because truth be told, jaemin couldn’t do it. he couldn’t bear to see them all by himself. this is what prompts him to get up, steps taken away from the shelter of the bus stop and into the rain, slowly leaving behind the bouquet of flowers and his promise to see his parents that day. 

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