#i am surrounded by idiots but im also one of them

i live a very odd life.

warnings: cursing, general stupidity, mildly suggestive lol

kaeya: game of thrones is more popular than shakespeare will ever be.

lisa: …no?

xingqiu (purposefully making an understatement): i mean this is a loving community and im not one to kink shame, but yeah, being attracted to dead bodies is a littlegross. 

chongyun (taking him completely seriously): a LITTLE?!

ningguang: you. you are the reason i am gay. you see all of this??? this is your fault. you’ve got nobody to blame but yourself for my hatred of men.

zhongli: …good morning to you too?

kujo sara: i got you a pair of boxers that have micro-penis embroidered on the crotch. you have to wear them every time you go to the club or on a date. if and when someone sees it and asks what it means, the only thing you can say is “do you like it?” happy birthday and go fuck yourself.

itto: thanks

traveler: it has been foretold that i will become a sugar baby and i will make sure that this prophecy comes true.

childe: i could be your sugar dadd-

traveler: i think the fuck not.

itto: is tiddy milk actual milk? like does it have dairy in it because if so, what if the baby is lactose intolerant or something. like me personally, i cant have dairy but i love tiddies so if i was a baby id risk it. you know what i mean?

gorou: no. i never do.