#i can for rachel tho she has great commentary

>>Snarled’s Dark 5: Basement Discoveries Starter Sentences

• “First thought: have y’all seen Silence of the lambs? I know what happens in wells. If the Ring girl isn’t crawling out of one, then there’s some old man dancing, telling you to put the lotion on your skin or else you’ll get the hose again. And I’m not going through that again, ______!”
  
• “But I choose to believe it, much like everything else that is probably fake.”
  
• “You’re telling me they lived there all this time and were like: ‘yeah, that’s fine, I bet that’s chill and nothing weird is going on there’?“
  
• “’Scuse me, sir/ma’am… THE FUCK’S THAT!?”
  
• “Or, it’s the leftovers of some very sinister Illuminati shit.”
  
• “And, to be honest, I am down for either.”
  
• “It’s not like a friendly man in your wall just checking up making sure you’re sleeping well. No, this is a secret man.”
  
• “And they didn’t find Narnia.”
  
• “Which I assume that is what they were looking for.”
  
• “I dunno who keeps men in their walls… Besides me.”
  
• “But no sign of where he/she/they showered… _______, you were a real catch until then.”
  
• “Buried beneath a basement… Nefarious.”
  
• “Do I think this is a coincidence? Of course, I don’t, because I am a living, thinking human being who KNOWS that the founding fathers used ritual sacrifice to get–” *gasps for air* “The Americas, everybody knows that. Everybody knows that the colonies are based on a pentagram system which is why traffic is so confusing. They live to confuse us, don’t believe them.”
  
• “So I’m gonna ask you one time, ________ ________, where did you get those bodies?”
  
• “I know you killed them! I don’t trust you!”
  
• “Also I’ve never seen a $100 bill so I’m pretty sure you don’t even exist.”
  
• “Who could do science stuff back then? You didn’t even have computers.”
• “Which if I had known that were a thing, I would finally belong somewhere.”
  
• “Actually, no it doesn’t, it’s pretty straightforward when you think about it. Peter Pan was a child who lived forever…”
  
• “That’s really too sad for me. I can’t show you feelings so I’m gonna go. Bye, thank you for coming, you’ve been great, thank you.”