#i dont watch this show even

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name:

things Old Man Sam looks like:

- an English teacher with a severe drinking problem

- an unsub on Criminal Minds

- your uncle who’s not allowed to come to family Christmas because your parents filed a restraining order against him when you were 3

- my sleep paralysis demon

- man who’s too senile to realize there’s no lenses in his glasses

- man who’s wondering if he remembered to turn the oven off

- theology teacher who believes his class will change your life 

- Mr. Roger’s shadow self

- Count Olaf, but a Chad

- Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween (2018)

- old man who’s like, really into bird watching

- tenured professor but no one actually knows what he’s supposed to be teaching

- Mr. Feeny, if he never got to meet the Matthews family

- Me when I dressed up as the grandmother in Billy Elliot for a musical theater class performance in 11th grade

- what Bernie Sanders thinks he looks like in his mind’s eye

- the Unabomber 

- guy you’ve lived next door to for years and you think he’s really nice if a little socially awkward and then one day the police show up and tell you he has dead bodies buried in his basement 

- man you just discovered lives in the neighborhood haunted house that everyone thought was abandoned 

- your ex-boyfriend at your high school reunion, cementing the feeling that you really dodged a bullet

- Peter Capaldi if he stayed on Doctor Who any longer

- an actor who’s realizing he just spent the last 15 years of his life working up to a terrible finale episode