#i hope this is okay to reblog
at3:
I’m the one who asked for the fear of women due to PTSD post. I can’t really message or @ with my main because I’m afraid of the hate I’ll receive for admitting to this.
I have C-PTSD and DID from years of abuse and it’s really hard for me to see everyone saying that fearing women, even from PTSD, is always a terrible misogynistic thing because I’m not choosing to shake in my seat if a woman sits next to me or fear an assault if one stands behind me in a queue. I don’t say anything to them about it, I just kind of keep quiet because I’m scared.
The thing is, I was abused since I was born by my older sister who dropped a laptop on my head when I was 3 months old, physically abused me for years, and took naked and sexual photos of me when I was 9, as well as forcing me to do things with her and having her friend photograph it but with only me in the picture. And after I thought she got out of my life, she was stalking me.
But it wasn’t just her either: I was constantly sexually harassed by the girls at my school when I was 14, a teacher kissed me in front of the whole school in an assembly and nobody thought it was a big deal, my grandmother thought it was acceptable to keep placing her hand on my thigh while I was telling her to stop and my mother told me I was in the wrong for expecting her not to.
I’m sorry about the userbox I asked for and you can take it down if you want to. I didn’t think it through and didn’t think about my position of privilege.
You don’t have to worry, people take things the wrong way and it doesn’t make them right just because they are angry. I made this post for you, for me, and for everyone else who has been abused by women and fears them for it.
You do not choose abuse and you do not choose your fears. I won’t be deleting this post because people need to know that it goes the other way too. People need to know they are not alone.
