#i hope youre well

Image Credit: “Haven” by Lizette Luijten   (please leave intact!)
Caption:chrissymiller89 

At the root of it all, I think this image portrays that which I crave most; the ability to kneel and curl contentedly at the foot of a man that understands and sees me for who I really am.  Not beneath him or “less than” simply because I feel peace and serenity in my submission of all that I am to Him, but rather He would comprehend the depth of trust and strength it takes to do so.  It is a yearning difficult to put into words how I wish to feel my cheek upon Him, and allow the tender touch of His ownership to permeate into my soul through the warmth of his fingers. 

Oh yes, His every wish is a command to which I would unquestioningly and eagerly comply to, but it is so much deeper than sex… It isn’t merely the pleasure or the pain, being a naughty or a good girl, or the exploration of fantasies… It’s true, much of it is expressed through acts of sexual abandon, the pushing of limits, and earth-shattering orgasms, but there is so much more!

It is stripping away all that I have become for someone else in my life instead of myself; letting the walls and ramparts crumble away, and the masks fall… no longer defined by anyone or anything. It is giving up all expectations and planning; letting go of the desperate need to feel in control of everything around me in order to feel secure. It is a nakedness beyond a lack of clothing; a vulnerability and exposing of the spirit that defies logical understanding, having faith that as He leads me into the depths of my darkness, my wounds, my past I am safe because He does so carrying a light of healing and restoration and he will not abandon me.  It is choosing to believe His voice over the lies of history and experience, and seeing myself through the mirror of His eyes instead of trusting my own critical vision, until I can actually see the truth of who I am.

It is putting every ounce of who I am into showing Him the gratitude, respect, and admiration I feel. It is about not just allowing him to be the carnal man he was created to be, but encouraging Him to embrace every aspect of the man he is, from the fierce primal beast to the insecure little boy with no fear of recrimination or judgment.  It is about eager willingness to pour myself into another human being in whatever way is needed to bring healing and completeness to Him.  It is about not only unwaveringly obeying, but reveling in unabashed reverence in the Dominion he was born to possess over me. 

It’s true I guess, perhaps I see with different eyes than most, but yeah… at the root of it all, I think this photo depicts the true depths of what D/s is (at least to me) and what I crave most.  ~cm