#i mourn on occasion what could have been

What I wouldn’t have given to have a vulnerable Cassian… sigh. And I mean a truly vulnerable Cassian, who talks to Nesta about his mom and they share an experience of feeling alone growing up. Of never fitting in. Of being poor. Of both of them recognizing that experience from each other. Give me a Cassian who talks about his hope for Illyrian women and why that’s important to him, not an “oh that’s the way it should be,” but because he can’t protect everyone even if he wants to and by god he wishes his mom could have defended herself. Let Nesta tell him why this is WRONG, even if only slightly, because of her own experience. That the only way to make women safe is to make a safer, equal world, not to make stronger women. Take out a smut scene, and put in a scene where they are talking to each other on a deeper level than training or even forgiveness. Fuck forgiveness. How about reassurance that you don’t suck with all these ugly emotions inside of you? That Nestahad to feel this way because it was the only way she survived, and now she doesn’t have to do that anymore… because they’ll make a safer world together. That’s what they’re doing aren’t they? That’s why they train? Let it come to that obvious conclusion. That this situation is more complex than making Nesta strong and useful.  

Let Cassian listen to Nesta and why she’s aloof, why she doesn’t want to hang out with his friends, let him sit their silently and wait because he’s not going anywhere until she tells him. Let that stubbornness and annoying tendency to prod, be useful to the story! What is this???? Who writes like this, with no reasonable conclusion for character actions? Character’s have self awareness!!!! Everyone has self awareness, even when it’s biased! How can you make a narrative based story and not have a strong narrative???