before all this, she and i were putting on makeup, sitting in the glow of my sunlamp. december 29th, 2019.
“it’s going to be my year of yes,” she said. she was putting powder on with a brush. “i’m going to be okay, god help me.”
before this, i was organized. i used to have 3 calendars, all synced to each other, all color coded. one was aspirational - what i would “like” to do. full of facebook events and friend meetups and hypotheticals.
today it sent me an alert from my past self: hi! it’s me. wherever we are, i hope we are happy.
before all of this, i braided her hair. i told her my new year’s resolution was to be a worrisome force of fury. an applied rage. i said: “picture a raccoon that’s seven feet tall and just learned how to operate heavy machinery.”
before all of this, i was holding his hand in the hospital. “i couldn’t do it,” he said. “i failed even at dying.”
before all of this, the thing i was chronically, horribly, perpetually good at: surviving. every fucked up situation, i would cockroach my way out of, no matter how many times life tried to bowl me over. i was roadkill for so long i like the feeling of being sunburned. death couldn’t keep me so i kept myself.
and i will be a meteor if i must. i will be the burning house. i will be the spat tooth. i will love you like before even if the sun is new tomorrow. what’s more, i will love you harder - i will love you like a bloodied lung. i will love you like scissors. i will love you like glass loves breaking and i will love you like throats love howling. i will love you like tremor and i will love you like sharpened knife.
i will love you like the only thing we are both good at is surviving, and we are both damn good at surviving.
before all this, she was zipping up my dress for me. “that’s the thing about happy,” she said. “sometimes it takes a little fighting.”
That’s the most coherent thing I could say after last night with Tamora Pierce Guy. I’ll try to write up more later, but suffice it to say, he knows how to fuck a lady good and hard. I came away more than satisfied.
genuine question for those of you who are comfortable answering: how old were you when you started using the internet & do you regret using it that young
I was about 18, and, no, I wish it had been accessible well before then.
18 means mid-90s, y'all
Yeah I feel I should clarify that when I say “I was like 8,” I was like 8 in the far off year of 1998.
Y'all remember ezboards? I remember ezboards.
We got AOL when I was 10. The whole family shared a screen name for a hot minute - ancient times. No ragrets, no.
lmao isn’t it hilarious that the wicked witch of the west canonically fucks??
like gregory maguire:
read the oz books/saw the 1939 movie
saw the wicked witch of the west
the most famous witch in pop culture
who has been scaring children for like half a century at that point
and he REALLY and ACTUALLY was like
“ya know what she needs??? what she really needs???? she needs to be a THOT”
and then he wrote wicked
Good post, but Elphaba isn’t the wicked witch of the west that we see all throughout the film. She’s the witch at the beginning that gets crushed with the house. That part is literally at the beginning and end of the musical
im pretty sure she is.
I… I mean… it’s only a major plotpoint of the musical that she has green skin… And she calls herself the wicked witch of the west… And Nessa calls herself the wicked witch of the east… And it says at the beginning of the musical that she was killed by a bucket of water thrown by a female child…
I gotta ask, like, what the fuck musical was that other person watching???
