#i screamed

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thyrell:

thyrell:

just came up with a really good 4 word cooking horror story but idk if you guys are ready for it

2 cups vanilla extract

mandoblowmybackout:

Appeal

Summary: Turns out, your vibrator really is loud. Or, you catch Din having some fun without you.

Pairing: Din Djarin x ADHD!fem reader

Word Count: ~1k

Rating: E

Warnings: 18+, MDNI!!! smut, masturbation, brief oral sex (m receiving), sex toy use, voyeurism, a smidge of embarrassment. Reader exhibits hypersexuality, but does NOT feel bad about it (this chapter)

A/N: I just wanted to pull an Uno Reverse on Din with this one lol. This is part of the Vibes universe and takes place directly after A Standing Offer. Hope you like it!

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Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

You let out a small groan and smash your face deeper into the pillow, shoving your hands underneath it and pushing the sides up against your ears to drown out the odd buzzing sound.

What the fuck is that noise?

Bzzzzzzzzzzz

You’d been having such a good dream: you and Din had been in bed together, kissing and touching, and he had pulled something out from behind his back, and you’d been shocked that he actually wanted to use it on you and…

Wait. You know that sound.

You bolt up in bed, realization dawning on you.

Keep reading

Oh my god this is perhaps the most perfect uno reverse ever❤️ I love itttt

endlesstmp: Claraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa  fucking kill me moffat Time ne

endlesstmp:

Claraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 

fucking kill me moffat 

Time never forgets.

I KNEW IT!


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I’m rereading a fic Jen and I wrote a couple years back. Jen has a particular genius for funny character names… This story is set in the Tudor era. Our character just received a letter from the physician attending on his wife:

Sir,it read, having examined Lady de Kenna, may I offer my felicitations to you? Her confinement should begin in seven months, at which time I anticipate delivering of her a fine and healthy child. Yr. servant, Jefferson Starship.

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