#i think i made joey too tall here dont worry abt it

for crashing (?) the Contest Of The Arts in the last cthulhu session we didn’t actually have to dress up too much, but, y’know, it IS a snazzy event and Sammy was planning to sign up as a contestant in order to get backstage, so he was a littlefancier than usual. also suspenders jack is important to me….

Out of context quotes from our Slightly Eventful Contest Experience under the cut!

[Sammy is played by me, Joey is played by Boo (inkyvendingmachine), Henry is played by Maf (inkcryptid), Jack is played by Mochi (whatyouwantedmetosee) and Thren (haunted-hijinxer) is our GM!]

[Sammy] I am sleepy today… so maybe I will be in character,,,
[Jack] I am also sleepy.
[Henry] … I actually just took a nap before game started.
[Sammy] Ah. So Henry, as usual, is the only one that’s well-rested; yeah, that sounds correct.

*someone posts a gif of Beans the cat labelled “BEANS HEAVEN NOW”*
[Jack] This is a tangent, but I’m imagining Jack doing the “We can’t keep doing this” but saying that to Beans, and it’s really cute,
[Sammy] Except instead of yelling “shrimp heaven now” it’s just Beans going “MWOW! MWOWWW!”
[Jack] OH NO, THATS REALLY CUTE…..
[Joey] Sorry, I’m going to tangent back more: for some reason, forever entangled in my mind is “shrimp heaven now” and also the “chips” bit? So now I’m thinking of,
[Joey] “Prophet keeps going into the cupboard, and eating handfuls of raw pasta, and calling them… chips?”
[Sammy] “How do I make him STOP???”
[Sammy] I can’t decide whether this is better if Joey is the one making this complaint, or Sammy
[Sammy] *laughing* Sorry, I’m just thinking about Sammy like, waking up to find all his pasta with bites in it like “Not again,,,”
[Joey] “We can’t keep doing this,”

[Sammy] Don’t teach Beans magic! Bad influence!
[Henry] Beans already knows magic.
[Sammy] *startled laughter* tHAT’S AN EXTREMELY CONFIDENT STATEMENT,

[Jack] Jack’s also going to be sleeping with the light on, so, Pete, I hope you don’t mind the light on!
[GM] Well, that actually works out well for him, because then he can see all the papers he’s laid out around the place when he’s astral projecting!
[Jack] PETE NO,,,,
[Sammy] Well! It sounds like everyone’s really, definitely, using the evening time for sleep like they’re supposed to!
[GM] You told Peter to make sure Jack didn’t wander off!
[Sammy] YES…. WELL THAT’S IMPORTANT,
[Jack] He can’t do that while sleeping!
[GM] He can! He can.
[Jack] He can’t do that while SLEEP-sleeping
[GM] Okay, that’s true.

[Jack] All of Jack’s boyfriends are functional people.
[Sammy] Jack is the only functional boyfriend.
[Jack]……I’m not sure if that’s true anymore

[Jack] You’ve ruined a perfectly good lyricist is what you did, look at him, he’s got anxiety!
[Sammy] Me @ The Masked Messenger

[Joey] And Joey might also make calls to Timothee and………..other guy,

[Joey] Hopefully he won’t make his intelligence check!
[GM] How smart are you, Leon? You’re a doctor…. OH he might make this check, he has a very high intelligence
[Sammy] Well good, we need at least somebody with a braincell, so that’s great actually.

[Joey] Does Joey have a good idea, based on what Sammy and Norman know from scoping out the hotel, about how they should maybe be dressing for this event?
[Sammy]
[Sammy] …you expected Sammy to be paying attention to that…?
[Joey] I said Sammy and Norman,

[Joey] Joey knows who Bertrum is, because he’s just a fan of theme parks
[Jack] He’s just a nerd
[GM] Theme park nerd…
[Joey] OH NO… Joey would be one of those youtubers who rides rides and then gives them critique…
[GM] Luckily, he doesn’t have a platform to do that, so Bertrum hopefully doesn’t hate him!
[Sammy] “LUCKILY, JOEY DOESN’T HAVE A YOUTUBE” applies to so many things
[Joey] *laughs*
[Joey]
[Joey] Yeah,……………..

[Sammy] Are we just looking to grab them, and drag them off?!
[Joey] dO YOU HAVE A BETTER PLAN,,,

[Joey] Do we actually have to get backstage, or can Norman just… shadow walk back there

[Joey] Sammy and Norman can sneak backstage, because Norman is good at sneaking, and Sammy is… good at doing things… without, others’ agreement,

[Sammy] If Wally’s here – Wally needs to not be here. I don’t want to think about Wally Franks while I’m here.

[Joey] If you throw that request on Joey last minute, he’s not going to take that well, he’s got so much on his mind right now –
[Sammy] If Joey doesn’t want to get him ink, I can ask Bendy, like, that’s fine, whatever!
[Joey] I mean, if you wait long enough, Bendy and Joey is the same person – you can’t go to the other parent!

[GM] Is Norman going have to borrow an instrument case to put this RIFLE in?

[Sammy] And y’know, if any of the Muses show up early, maaaaybe we cannnnn just–
[Jack] –kidnap people, live, in front of a crowd!
[Sammy] I MEAN, WE’RE DOING THAT EITHER WAY,

[GM] You guys get to the Ravenshall hotel, and ballroom adjoining, around 6pm!
[Sammy] *nervously* Alright… here we are…
[GM] *cheerfully* It’s close to the beach, there’s a pool outside-!
[Sammy] We’re going to get arrested,
[Henry] Or worse.
[Jack]….. eXPELLED?

[Joey] If we are taking two cars, I think we should park Henry’s more hidden in the crowd, in case someone shows up who might recognise Henry’s car.
[Joey] Though admittedly… cars are not really… recognisable,… in this time period,
[Sammy] All EXACTLY THE SAME CAR,
[Joey] YEAH, there’s exactly the same car, in many different colours.
[Jack] It never got brought up, but Henry actually painted Cool Flames on the side of his car,

*after several minutes of retconning various preparations*
[GM] Okay! You are at the front doors.
[Sammy] Thren like YOU ARE HERE NOW. BE HERE. STOP GOING BACK.

[GM] Jack probably also recognises the band that’s hanging out to the side of the stage… or at least three of them!
[Sammy] Is that… the musicians, from…
[GM] The saxophonist is new!
[Joey] *starts cackling*

[GM] You do see one of the lines on the sign-up list just says “Alice.”
[Jack] I don’t know if that’s cute or concerning…

[Joey] If Norman and Peter, can sneak back right away? If Norman’s going to blend in with the other staff –
[Sammy] What actually happens is, while Pete is showing his press pass, Norman just walks in. No one notices. I don’t know if he’s actually that stealthy, but that’s what’s in my heart.
[GM] It might,,, be that way,,, because I’ve been rolling some dice, and what it looks like happened is that Norman tried to talk his way through and rolled a 90-something and did not know what instrument case he was carrying OR SOMETHING and did not get in, but then Peter did, and made a good persuade roll, and then Norman got a 15 on Stealth! So, that sounds correct.
[Joey] Perfect!
[Sammy] Norman just like, “I’m here to play sax,” and they’re like “That’s a violin case.” “Well, you know, I’ve always kept my saxophone in a violin case, I don’t know about you, that’s just what I’ve always done!”

[Sammy] Trenchcoat is not allowed to touch any of my banjos.

[Joey] They could also sign up under alternate names,
[Jack] SAMMY FAIN AND JACK LAWRENCE…

[GM] Timothee does say he grabbed some stuff from his mom! And has a handful of charms.
[Sammy] What do they do?
[GM] One makes you better at getting out of the way of things, one that makes you sneakier, and there’s one that helps with guns, apparently.
[Jack and Sammy] *giggling*
[Joey] *also giggling* LOVE THAT GOOD OL’ ANCIENT GUN CHARM! Passed down for generations–
[Jack] You say “gun charm” and I’m just imagining like… a phone charm, but for a gun.

[Joey] Henry’s going to get one of the “not get hurt as much” charms–
[Henry] Okay!
[Joey] –I don’t know if it’ll work if he hurts himself, but! We can hope.
[Sammy] Henry tries to overexert and the charm just STOPS him and we’re like “*gasp* he needs to have this on all the time…”

[Sammy] Just passin’ out charms in the hotel lobby, it’s fine.

[Joey] Timothee and Henry are both the most well-armed, and seem to be the most ready to…
[Sammy] Kill a man?
[Joey] … plow into a situation and change it if need be.
[Henry] AKA, kill a man.

[Joey] Jack is the extremely charming polite boy, who has attracted a lot of not-so-charming/polite boys…
[Sammy] Yes. That’s true.
[Joey] I guess Joey is the most charming polite boy, compared to Jack, out of all of them, and he’s… less polite, and more charming,
[Sammy] Joey can be polite when he wants to be. Joey’s flaw is his personality.
[Sammy] That’s also Sammy’s flaw; he just has several other ones as well.

[Sammy] Susie, like me, has distinctive hair, so you might be able to pick her out of a crowd–
[Joey] Joey will describe her – sorry, I’m retroactively adding this – back at the meeting, Joey will describe her in WAY too much detail, like she is a famous actress.
[GM] …and then Norman will get a photograph.
[Sammy] YEAH, THAT’S SMART,
[Jack] Sorry, I’m – I– if Norman has a photograph of Susie, is, like… I’m just picturing it as a like, best friends selfie.
[Joey] YEAH no I was immediately like, Norman & Susie Best Friends Selfie please! Even though I don’t know if you could actually do that at the time, but. It’s in my heart now.
[Jack] If anyone would know how to, Norman would.
[Joey] THIS IS TRUE…

[GM] He is at the buffet, eating sausage rolls on toothpicks! And talking, very loud, to people!
[Sammy] Okay, so we IMMEDIATELY know where Bertrum is at ALL TIMES, got it

[Joey] Joey doesn’t have the thing that my D&D character has where I can just SENSE magical objects in the room…
[Sammy] I can sense Exactly One magical object!

[GM, as Nichole] They can’t do anything to people in a public venue like this! They’re not going to be sacrificing people on stage!
[Sammy] I’m not so sure about that–
[GM] The weird thing is – OH wow, okay – yeah, the weird thing is, it is insanely convincing, what she’s saying.
[Sammy] …………. o..kay!! um, alright –
[Joey, who spent the entire game with an impossible-to-fail boosted fast talk skill] OH NO, is SHE the muse with Fast Talk?!
[GM] YES!

[Sammy] Because this makes perfect sense! And Sammy has made a good judgement call!

[GM] Nichole’s not competing, so–
[Joey] NICHOLE, IF YOU’RE NOT COMPETING, then what kind of a “go out with a bang” is this?!? THERE’S ONLY TWO OF YOU!
[Jack] She’s gonna go out with a different bang, she’s gonna have a LOT of alchohol for this.

[Joey] *very seriously* As amazing as the work Bertrum has done for Coney Island is, he does not care about this.
[Joey] He only cares about the teeny sausages.

[Sammy] This is fast talk, right? This is not an ACTUAL thing –
[Joey] I do believe, that in Joey’s heart, he absolutely believes this, because he is assigning them all positions in this scene, and he has given himself a Willy Wonka position at this moment,

[GM] Bertrum lets everyone applaud a bunch, and thanks everyone for the energy, as if it is for him,

[GM, as Peter] Oh, this guy. I don’t even live here anymore and I’ve heard he’s a chore to interview… or, to stop interviewing.
[Joey] Please imagine that Joey gets this information, and his eyes do the little anime SHING!thing

[Henry] Henry is probably fluent in Joey, he’ll know what to do.

[Henry] Henry is going to assume it’s Plan B time, and just pick up Susie, and run!
[Jack] *nervous singsong* We’re gonna get arrested for kidnappinggggggg…!
[Sammy] We are gonna get arrested, we knew that going into this. I thought it was gonna be me, but then I got talked down,
[Sammy] We really just shoulda sent Prophet into this, honestly. He wouldn’t have put up with this foolishness.

[Sammy] And also, Sammy does vaguely know how to fight; Jack does not. So there’s that, as well.
[Jack] He’s soft and warm, like mashed potatoes.
[Sammy] Well, that’s why we gave him a charm, so he can be a speedy mashed potato.
[GM] Fast potato……..

[Joey] I do need to share this thought first, of like, this gun has gone off and people are panicking, and Bertrum is STILL talking, but the moment Joey moves the spotlight off of him, he’s like, “WHAT is going on?!”
[Joey] “WHO!!!! HOW VERY DARE YOU!!!”
[Sammy] I feel like he MIGHT react to the shot gun–
[GM] *laughs* I’m being told that he would yell “Bloody scamper!” and yell at everyone to run, which is helping with the panic!
[Sammy] *cracking up* tHANKS GIANDARK!

[Sammy] No sanity damage for Sammy right now.
[Jack] Samity damage.
[Sammy] Hm.
[Jack] Samity Samage.