#i want to be this horse

>be a horse

>all your fellow horses die tragically in a fire

>last horse in the kentucky derby drops out leaving a space open

>somehow wind up in the kentucky derby at the last minute even though you’re an asshole worth only like $30k (not a lot for horses)

>have 80-1 odds because you’re a last minute entry and no one cares about you

>win the kentucky derby, pissing everyone off and become the biggest upset since 1913.

>bite absolutely everything.