#i wasnt supposed to write that much i swear
Imagine being Superman/Clark Kent and interacting with Bruce Wayne when you know he’s The Batman. One moment he’s making heart eyes at you when you’re in Superman mode trying to save his life all the while listening to how if you’d go out on just One Date with him Superman, baby he’ll show you the time of your life.
Then, you’re in Clark Kent Journalist Mode interviewing billionaire playboy philanthropist Mr. Wayne and he tells you to call him Brucie, please and proceeds to flirt with you throughout the interview but instead of being able to just brush him off like you normally would when you’re Superman you have to act all flustered and shy which isn’t much of an act if you’re being really honest with yourself.
And then the real kicker is when Bruce Wayne is in The Batman mode and he’s all cold and gruff. He won’t even say hi to you in whatever form. He doesn’t talk about anything besides business and you’re slowly losing your hold on sanity. Like he’s so fucking professional you want to tear your hair out because literally a couple of hours ago he was romancing you into quick romantic sex-filled getaway to Paris. Imagine the fucking whiplash.
Okay, but also imagine being Bruce in this one. Having a massive crush on a freaking Superman, that started as “i wanna punch him in his stupid face with its perfect features” and “he can’t reallybeTHAT good, kind and genuine, i usually like atleast morally questionable people, there must be smth wrong with him”, but after they met as Batman and Superman, and Bruce figured out his Clark Kent identity, became “oh my god he is genuinely like that ” and “how he can be one of the smartest people that I know and awkward dumbass thot at the same time and why do I like it Google search”.
And all he can do is just flirt with him whenever he can. Which is a lot and not actually at the same time. Mostly because while flirting with both (does that really count as both? I mean) Clark and Superman is really fun - Clark acting like he is shy and uncomfortable, when Bruce knows he actually isn’t, ‘cause Superman of course brushes him off all the time, but with little amused grin that means Kal at least think Brucie is funny - but this flirting has bad influence on Bruce’s mental health.
Because he still needs to be Batman somehow.
And the best way to do it - actually be Batman like he always was. Cold, gruff, moody, almost numb. Which is supposed to be easy, but it’s not with this careless_whisper.mp3 playing in his head on ans on, and he doesn’t even know what it is - his subconscious or one of his dumbass kids in a Batcave succeeding in driving him mad.
(Dick gave him a dumb I ♥️ Superman t-shirt from Metropolis souvenir shop for Christmas. Bruce didn’t threw it away).
So Batman just acts like Batman, despite that becomes Superman’s friend and sometimes even says more than “hmm” and “hnn” on their missions.
But still he isn’t ready for it when Clark just goes full “fuck it, I like him, you only live once” and starts flirting back.
Brucie just says something like “What are you doing after this?” while Superman is saving his life. And the next second Superman is just “Heading to Fortress of Solitude, unless maybe you’ve got something better than solitude to offer”. Bruce goes blue screen of death for a record 5 seconds before his brain turns on again.
It’s worth when it’s Clark who is flirting back. Because when Brucie says “I have a private plane and can fly you to the moon” Bruce doesn’t expect to hear “Well, I can do that to you without a plane”. And it goes just
“What?”
“What?”
So Bruce and Clark drive each other crazy, not knowing that other is doing this knowinglytoo…
… before of course they do.
It’s probably Clark who decided to tell Bruce about his (not so) secret identity, probably asking for a help in securing it, or for a backup guard for his friends and family. Or both, whatever.
And when Bruce is just “I’m world’s greatest detective (place your Batman glare here). I already know”.
Clark loses it like “Wait, what. Do you knew it before you start flirting with me as Clark or after?”
“Excuse me wha-”
“You heard me, Bruce”.
“Wait,you knew? You knew and flirted back?”
They probably need to bicker and yell at eachother, before violently make out and agree on a date finally.
Somewhere in a Batcave Alfred probably looks at the camera like he is on the office.
