#ian steinberg
//Letters to YVYNYL//
Ian Steinberg - Feeling the Light
/ A lot of people who read this blog seem to fall into a certain amorphous group of individuals. Many, if not most, are people who are looking to use songwriting as a method of healing, grace, and purpose. Ian is an artist who sent me his music last year around this time and I’m just now getting to publish some bits of a record he put out online in the spring of 2019. Now, he’s worked on some new stuff from his base in Vermont. It is a piece he recorded in what appears to be his pretty chill bedroom. Have a listen while you read the inspiration in his letter below.
Hi Mark!
The best way to sum up my experience with music is with the famous quote by Nietzsche: “Without music, life would be a mistake.” For me, it is not so much a matter of why I do music, rather than I must.
I’m not sure I would be able to find life enjoyable without my personal pursuit of music. The sense of purpose it fills me with is a sustaining force. That is part of why I write, to fill an ineffable part of my existence that otherwise would be lacking. At least, that is how I’ve viewed most of my experience. However, as a part of my healing process, I’ve been able to find a lot of joy outside of my own work and recognize the love that is around me, which has been extremely helpful.
Songwriting itself is also a healing process. Beyond processing my thoughts and experiences through lyrics, it gives me the space to get my emotions out in a constructive manner. Songwriting, and performing more specifically, connects me with other people’s experiences as well, allowing me to process my grief by listening to others’ stories when they approach me after shows or write to me. I hope that it gives those who hear my music the space to do that as well.
My name is Ian Steinberg, a Burlington, Vermont based indie-folk singer-songwriter. I’m writing to you to share a new song I wrote for my Tiny Desk submission as well as the last album I made that carries great significance to me called “Guidance.” Entirely written, produced, recorded, and mixed by me, “Guidance” is a true indie product, with a clear arch and catchy melodies.
A quick note about “Guidance:” The album is the aural journey of my descent into and rise out of depression. It takes place over the course of many years and catalogs my emotional states and experiences in song form.
While I would prefer not to dive too deep into some of the stories behind this, as it’s pretty painful to discuss, even with close friends, I will try to provide some insight into the journey that the songs layout.
The album is collected into four blocks of songs all separated by instrumental (ish) interludes. The first block is three songs that lay out some of the fundamental causes of my unhappiness, including substance abuse, loss of love, and a sincere self-doubt built upon a lack of confidence. The tone of the songs are relatively light, but the lyrical content shows how I truly feel in those moments. The songs express an ability to put on a façade of cheerfulness while internally processing difficulties.
The next block, starting with “Pieces…Pieces…” is the true descent. A shift in tone and content, this block of songs shows some of the most difficult times in my life. “And Now…” (video live from the Wishbone CollectiveinWinooski, Vermont) describes the loss of one of my best friends to a drug overdose. “How Can Our Fathers” describes my dealing with what, for lack of better terms, was a betrayal by my dad (just a note that we have a good relationship and that this song is processing, not a lingering resentment).
The third block, beginning with “Stuck Inside the Water Basin,” is my realization that I need help. That I can’t be alone in this struggle any longer. The realization that I am loved. This in some ways was much more difficult to write than the previous section, because it is relinquishing a sense of independence and the idea I can figure it out on my own. The block contains the eponymous song of the album, and how I’m pleading for guidance, needing help. "One Foot One Knee" is an ode/anthem/chant to perseverance and recognition that we need to move one foot in front of the other.
The last section starts with “Fatima.” This contains a passage from Paulo Coelho’s “The Alchemist” when the main character sees the love of his life for the first time. This is a bridge between a sense of destiny/place in “One Foot One Knee,” to processing losing what I thought was the love of my life in “At the Risk of Coming Off as Trite.” The last song, “Sunshine,” is a message of thanks, and that I’m working through this still, and that I’m grateful for the things around me despite my mental state.
I guess maybe I dived deeper into it than I was expecting, but I hope you enjoy listening with this context.
I’ve also released a video of me and my lead guitarist performing the track “And Now…” live from The Wishbone Collective in Winooski, Vermont.
Thanks for your time and consideration. I hope you enjoy the album!
Best,
Ian
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