#if you even got this far - congratulations

Not that anybody cares but here’s the thing: I’m tired of the cycle. 

By cycle I mean: getting into something → getting reallyinto that thing and following a bunch of people, discovering ships theories and niches → reading most of my new OTP’s AO3 → start noticing all the drama, discourse and nonsense on tumblr → start getting really annoyed yet spend a lot of time and energy writing and drawing for the fandom → wake up one day and my hyperfixation is over. I’m no longer interested in the thing, I don’t want to see it, I lost all my WIPs and my completed works no longer bring me pride and joy → I wish I hadn’t wasted so many time on this because it looks so utterly pointless now. → Start unfollowing people and fixing my dash → R·E·P·E·A·T

This has been happening more and more often. I’m 27 and have been doing this since I was 13. I used to last years in fandoms. Now I can barely manage to get interested into something for a couple months. And meanwhile I don’t do anything with myself. I don’t build a reputation or a “sub-career” or something I can show-off or make a name for myself with. Because I keep cycling. 

And it’s always, always toxic. All fandoms are toxic when you dive deep enough. It’s a bunch of people arguing about meaningless crap like it decides the meaning of their life. They look nice on the surface but I’ve been in many, even as just an observer, and I’ve seen the same tired old drama in each of them. It’s a deal on the nerves and takes the worst out of communities. 

It’s going to be hard because ADHD and Hyperfixation, but I’m gonna try to learn how to enjoy media like a normal person. 

And maybe write and draw porn for twitter/reddit if the artistic need strikes lol. At least that is absolutely timeless and universal. 

I don’t know what’s going to become of this blog just yet, I’m not gonna dispose of it like I did with my previous one, but I will do my best not to keep up diving into fandoms. 

Maybe just reblog art, memes and funny posts? Who knows. 

I’m too busy for it now anyway. 

***

Some parting Recs:

- Genshin Impact is an awesome free game if u can’t afford the new Zelda. 
- The Fire and Valor trilogy is a fantastic read/listen despite the crappy covers. 
-This song. 
- Whenever you’re sad look up “angry owls” on google images:

- And last but not least: take a break form tumblr. Seriously, do it. As often as you want because you are not obligated to be here or to cater to people here for free. Your mental health will thank you.