#ignore my tears

we only met freshman year, filled with nerves and still discovering who we were.

i didnt know why, but i wanted to spend all the time i could with you.

you’d help me study, and i’d buy you lunch.

you’d draw and i’d read.

you’d laugh, and i could do nothing but smile.

i’d look forward to seeing you every morning, and despair at leaving you in the afternoon.

maybe i took seeing you every day for granted, your nose pink from the cold, your eyes as bright as snow.

those days feel a lifetime ago.

schools closed and suddenly, i found myself missing your face, missing your voice,

missing you.

i found myself being lost in my own head, but you found me.

you call me, i pick up.

you sing to me, i listen.

you send pictures, i look at them in awe until my eyes water.

we celebrated your birthday last week. i hope you know how gorgeous you looked with the firelight flickering in your eyes. i wish i could tell you.

what would it cost for me to hold your hand? to hold you in my arms, even as the world falls down around us? for me to hear your song in my heart and for you to hear mine too?

i’d do anything for it.

tonight, valentine’s day, you made me a playlist with songs that remind you of me and i can’t help but wonder…

is it all in my head, or could you just love me too?