#im going back to sleep
lechon but chonky. lechonk.
“Aren’t you tired of going apeshit?” a ten year old Jin-Ah asks her Oppa one day.
Unprompted.
Out of the blue.
Suddenly.
Jin-Woo can only blink from where he’s seated himself on the couch, phone in hand. He’s trying to process the words that just came out of his little sisters mouth. The poor eldritch warrior trapped in a 17 year old’s body.
Jin-Ah then proceeds to throw a blanket over Jin-Woo’s lap unceremoniously.
“Don’t you just want to be nice?” she asks heatedly.
Jin-Woo continues staring for a longer period of time.
“First off,” he starts, “Who taught you that language and that-” he furrows his brow as though the word that comes out of his mouth next is something foreign “-that meme?”
“You’re avoiding the question,” she suddenly flicks on a flashlight in his direction, ineffective as it is since the lights are on in the living room, and its midday, “Jin-Ho hasn’t come over in the past few weeks and it must be because you did something wrong. Jin-Ho’s too nice.”
Jin-Woo, in response, shifts his eyes away.
“…Unless I’m wrong,” Jin-Ah scrunches her face “Do I need to beat Jin-Ho up?”
Jin-Woo sighs “Jin-Ah, you’re not allowed to have homicidal urges until you’re older.”
“It’s not homicidal if I’m not aiming to kill him.”
“Jin-Ah. It’s not his fault.”
“Oh,” she briefly relaxes her face, a tension seemingly leaving her shoulders and it briefly hits Jin-Woo that Jin-Ah was serious about beating Jin-Ho up for him.
Maybe its the lack of sleep but he allows himself to feel emotions for a brief wretched moment.
“So what did you do?” she switches back to glaring at him, flashlight aimed at his direction once more.
Jin-Woo shifts his eyes to the blanket in his lap.
“What’s the blanket for?”
“You’re skin is ice cold and it’s starting to become winter. Also, you need to sleep.”
Jin-Woo hums at that “Thoughtful of you,” he says, managing to not blurt out how he can barely feel any kind of temperatures at this point.
What is considered extreme climates on Earth are mild to him at best, and he found ways to get his body to re-adapt.
Jin-Ah briefly smiles at the acknowledgement of her action, the stance she took in front of him relaxing.
And it hits Jin-Woo at that moment, completely unprompted, how observant this Jin-Ah is. How sensitive to her family she’s always been.
It’s been so long, more than fifty years, but he recalls past memories of Jin-Ah distracting him, the weakest E-rank hunter, away from thoughts about dungeons whenever he would be at home.
He recalls how Jin-Ah had made it so easy for him to leave for dungeons by being undemanding of his return.
The Jin-Ah from before had done so much for him.
This Jin-Ah was much the same.
“You’re a good little sister,” leaves his mouth unprompted.
More emotions behind the words than he intends for there to be, probably, judging by the blank look that crosses Jin-Ah’s face.
Silence stands between them before Jin-Ah speaks quietly, “Am I?”
Jin-Woo tilts his head “Yes.”
Jin-Ah lowers the flashlight, “You’re a good big brother,” she then says, flicking the flashlight on and off with intense focus, eyes not meeting his, “But it feels like we haven’t actually talked at all in a long while,” she meets his gaze “Is it something I did?”
“No,” he says, leaning forward to place his hand on top of her head, “No, I’ve just been…” he tries to find the right words “Tired lately.”
“…Of me?”
“No,” he says, keeping his hand on her head, “I’m sorry you feel that way though. It’s just a problem with me.”
“I’m sorry”
“Thank you”
Jin-Ah sniffles a bit “Are you just saying that because I’m your little sister?”
“No, I’m saying it because you’re the best little sister and all you’ve done for me is good things.”
She looks at him, expression doubtful in a way that it just…hurts.
But that’s understandable, really.
“I promise you, that’s the truth,” he then pulls his hand away, standing up and ignoring the way his head hurts “Want to go out somewhere today?”
Jin-Ah sniffs for a moment, then nods.
Going out on a walk was predictably a good choice, as Jin-Ah seems to get distracted from her own thoughts by the surroundings and aching muscles in her legs she starts to complain about half an hour later.
Plus, the further they walked, the more physically tired she felt. The further she felt physically tired, the less inclined she felt towards keeping all those thoughts in her head.
In Jin-Woo’s experience, its easier to talk when the problem feels comparably less daunting to the ache in your limbs.
(Of course, not many things managed to physically tire him these days. Maybe he’d be less afraid to sleep if the case would be otherwise.)
(He’s also aware of his hypocrisy in this whole situation.)
“One of my classmates talked about how his older brother had cut off ties with the family,” she tells him as they take a stop to sit on a bench together, “It stressed him out enough that he ended up having a breakdown during class. And then he talked about it with some friends.”
She fidgets a bit “I guess it got me thinking about how you changed since…nearly two years ago. I didn’t think much about it until now. Or at least, I didn’t think I needed to? I think.”
“But then it kind of uh, hit me-or well- no- not the right word-” she gnaws at her bottom lip “-I guess hearing what my classmate is…going through made me think about it. About you. Do you-”
She pauses, and then her voice comes out tight “I thought you…felt like running away.”
Guilt is a sledge hammer built to pummel Jin-Woo rapidly.
No amount of fighting monsters would fix this, he thinks.
“I don’t want to run away,” he says.
He’s only half surprised to realize how much that statement is true.
For all that he shouldn’t be here, he’s always been greedy.
Jin-Ah seems to at least believe him on that sentence.
“Maybe not yet,” she murmurs.
He almost sighs. Almost.
“It’s too early for you to start being paranoid,” he tells her, “Save that for high school. University, preferably.”
Jin-Ah half heartedly sticks her tongue out at him.
my dad, two hours into me finally sleeping:KNOCK KNOCK I NEED YOUR HELP I’M COMING IN–I’M ALREADY IN, GET UP, ANSWER MY QUESTIONS IMMEDIATELY AND DO THIS THING FOR ME
me, now awake again:
Father please…
