#in ofmd its so natural and true
I’ve been trying to tease apart why I’ve gone so terminally feral for this show in particular, and I think a big part of it is because it captures the feeling of falling in love so accurately that I feel like I’M falling in love. Butterflies in my stomach, nauseous when I think about it, can’t STOP thinking about it love.
As much as we all love a classic rom-com/love story flick, they have wreaked havoc on our expectations of romance. The purpose of those films or shows are to play out our most grandiose fantasies of love and relationships, a level of drama we could never actually attain, as a form of escapism. There are no manic pixie dream girls whose sole personality is a brand of quirky that fits your interests and saves you from your disillusionment in life. In reality, pursuing someone so intensely without ever giving up or taking no for an answer until they finally win their love interest over has become a trope so pervasive that its bled into the insidious romantic imagination of Nice GuysTM world wide. In the real world, you probably will never have that spinny camera kiss in the pouring rain after you’ve beaten the odds and live happily ever after, and you might feel like nothing you can experience will ever live up to that feeling. Not to mention they’re all heteronormative as fuck.
In OFMD the friends to lovers journey is tentative and slow. There’s no moment where one of them takes their glasses off and they suddenly see the other in a whole new light. There’s no one sided whining and pining, where there’s no real interest in friendship and they only stick around hoping to someday get in the other’s pants. They deeply care and fret about not ruining their friendship, about not making the other uncomfortable or pressured. Most of my personal long term relationships started out as friendships, and it was a delicate drawn out testing of the waters before it naturally evolved. And this is particularly common in queer relationships where the lines between platonic and romantic love are often blurred because there are no models of courtship to look to for guidance.
I’ve seen people talk about how their kiss was too awkward, but that’s how real first kisses are. Confessing your feelings is mortifying and nerve wracking, and hearing it makes you blush and stammer. You miss their lips and knock your heads, you don’t know where to put your hands. You’re nervous. It’s not perfect but it’s sweet.
And hats off to Taika for absolutely nailing true heartbreak. It feels like your world is ending and your life has come crashing down like they show in the movies but it also makes you feel small and soft and scared. It’s the squeak in your voice when someone asks you how you are and you can feel yourself trying not to cry but you can’t stop it. It’s feeling so emotionally exhausted that you can’t even bring your self to be angry, you’d just rather curl up into a ball and die. It’s thinking you’re moving on until something small reminds you of them and you ugly cry until snot is running down your face and you can’t catch your breath. It’s hiding under your covers and writing shit poetry in your notes app.
OFMD isn’t “I wish I could experience this love story.” OFMD is “I have experienced this love story.” Falling in love can be the most huge, overwhelming, transcendental part of the human experience. It doesn’t need exaggeration. It’s the little things, it’s like Mary says. It’s them understanding your idiosyncrasies and finding them charming. It’s exposing each other to new things and new ideas. It’s laughing a lot. It’s passing the time well.
It’s mundane and it’s amazing. It’s easy, it’s like breathing. This show has made me fall in love with the idea of falling in love all over again.
