#incorrect icarly

[while planning out the webshow]

carly: if you’ve got any questions, just ask.

gibby, raising his hand: if a bear and a shark had a fight, who would win?

carly:

carly: if you’ve got any relevant questions, just ask.

sam: is “fuck off” an emotion? because i feel it in my soul.

sam: i’m like an onion.

gibby: what? you have layers?

sam:

sam: no, i make people cry.

sam: i use my time very efficiently. i’m almost never late.

carly: you were late today!

spencer: pots and pans are not supposed to melt, right?

carly:…no.

spencer: so the fact that this happened-

spencer, holding up a melted pan: -it’s weird, right?

carly: it’s impossible. congrats.

mrs. benson, shocked: you have a fake ID?! with a fake name and everything?!

freddie: i-i can explain!

sam, in the corner of the room: he used it to get a second library card so he can take twice as many books at once.

airport security: no liquids allowed!

spencer: [starts gulping it down]

carly: um, spencer, you don’t have to drink it-

spencer: [determinedly gulps it down faster]

airport security: you know, people usually just leave the shampoo behind, but what do i know?

sam: hey, idiot.

gibby: [turns around]

sam: heh. i said “idiot” and you turned around.

spencer: watching everything go up in flames has made me rethink everything i thought i knew about lighting things on fire.

[in season 1]

carly: [trips on air]

freddie: haha, you’re so clumsy.

[later, when carly’s not around]

freddie, punching the air: who do you think you are, who THE FUCK DO YOU THINK-

carly: i need you to promise me that you’ll be on your best behavior.

sam: i already promised other people that i’d be on my worst behavior, and i gave them my word, so…