#inspector japp

maisouipoirot:

INSPECTOR GLEN: It’s odd that the letter should mention the 21st of the month, though. Course, it might be a coincidence.

POIROT: I do not like that kind of coincidence, Inspector.

maisouipoirot:

- Here’s a fine dish of tea! Peer of the realm murdered in cold blood under the noses of 400 revellers. We’ll need the Albert Hall to gather the suspects on this one.

maisouipoirot:

- Cheer up, Poirot. We can’t have a nice, juicy murder every time.

maisouipoirot:

JAPP: Well, let you taste some proper English cooking. That’s your mashed potato, this is your peas - mushy peas, we call them. You’ll love ‘em. And this, the pièce de résistance - faggots.

POIROT: Faggot?

JAPP: Faggots. And there’s spotted dick for afters.

POIROT: Dick?

JAPP: Yes. It’s called that because …

POIROT: But this is tragic, Chief Inspector!

JAPP: No, no, it’s fine.

POIROT: I can eat none of this wonderful food!

JAPP: What? Why?

POIROT: Because… I have an allergy of the faggot.

JAPP: An allergy?

POIROT: Oui. I do not know how you say it in English, but in Belgian it is known as la phobie de faggot.

JAPP: I never heard of that.

POIROT: I am so sorry. I should have warned you.

JAPP: This is a blessed upset, I must say. Still, you can have some spotted dick. You haven’t got a phobie de dick, have you?

POIROT: Non.

Boy howdie he doesn’t have any problem with dick. As captain hastings is well aware

His head was exactly the shape of an egg, and he always perched it a little on one side. - Captain Hastings in The Mysterious Affair at Styles