#irresponsibility gets my goat though
I’ve seen a kind of insanity. It’s insidious, of the staring abyss variety.
It’s in the eyes of those who have ended up on the wrong side of Dominance, pushed past and loses control and power exchange to end up in a sort of living fantasy that borders on nightmare. It’s without all the checks and balances that define good play, without the aims and goals; it’s kink for kink’s sake, but even more than that it’s whimsical, fanciful, done without thought.
Make no mistake; there are things that I would like to do to you that would not leave you feeling good and well. There are things that would push you to a breaking point, and leave you trembling there, on the edge of things, ready to topple if you let yourself. These are things that sit in my mind with all the benevolence of a shark. They are powerful, and they are attractive, but, fundamentally, they are entirely based in fantasy, a conceptual thrill, but a practical horror.
You can dwell on that injustice, if you want. You can allow it to fill your mind with frustration and you can allow it to sour, turn into something that carries a little momentum. Then you can decide to see if, perhaps, all that intuition might have been misplaced, and really these are things that are safe to do. Perhaps you don’t even think at all.
It’s inevitable that playing with fantasy has an inherent danger to it, especially the kind of fantasies that we play with. But you have to be mindful, especially on top. Just as deal with danger, we also deal with vulnerability, and all of those pesky human emotions that get in the way of being mindless fucking machines that do nothing but rut and grunt. Acting without thought, as a Dominant, is just about the worst thing you can do. Consistently doing it is lunacy. A particularly malignant form of insanity.
I’m sure there are those out there who would laud it, call it brave, to put yourself so far out there, and seemingly keep your shit together. And I get the attraction, and I understand the appeal of someone who is so extreme as to send a thrill of fear down your spine, but to allow that fear to shift from a momentary distraction, to allow it to wrap around the core of you until it’s wormed its way into your wants and desires, is only going to end one way. The only difference between bravery and recklessness is the end result, and I’ve never seen a good one.
