#it appears jiang cheng here is the noveldonghua one

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poorlittleyaoyao:

(brought to you by OP’s recent hit-with-pies-for-charity experience)

WEI WUXIAN: The pie-throwing stand is his idea. He is HYPED. He spends the week leading up to the event heckling the juniors so they sign up to throw at him. He does not remember to bring a change of clothes and spends the rest of the day very, very sticky once his turn is done. He has no regrets.

JIANG YANLI: She thinks this sounds so much fun and signs up without prompting! Unfortunately, nobody is willing to throw a pie at her because she is too nice. Wei Wuxian notices her disappointment, and puts pies in the hands of every little kid he can find so Yanli can get the full Pie Experience without risk of injury.

JIANG CHENG: His siblings peer-pressure him into doing this and he’s Not Enthused. He is less enthused when Jin Ling rolls up to the booth and drops like $50 on pies. For five solid minutes, Jin Ling flings pies while Jiang Cheng responds with increasingly ludicrous threats and both heckle each other with impunity. The second Jin Ling runs out of pies, Jiang Cheng picks up the ones that missed and starts throwing them back.

JIN ZIXUAN: He thinks about it after Yanli signs up, but 1.) his mother says he’s not allowed because it’s undignified, and 2.) he didn’t want to risk ruining his special bespoke fundraiser outfit anyway.

JIN GUANGYAO: He politely declines. Public humiliation and not being allowed to defend himself as people throw things at him just doesn’t sound fun to him For Some Reason.

MIANMIAN:WELLSOMEONEFROM THE JIN SECT HAS TO GET PIED, AND SHE GUESSES THAT PERSON’S GONNA BE HER. She has a blast. She is also the only person who thinks to bring shampoo with her to keep the whipped cream from congealing in her hair. She shares with Yanli and no one else.

LAN WANGJI: Wei Ying is doing it, and that’s good enough for him. The juniors agree beforehand that they’re each gonna throw a pie, but when they actually have to make eye contact with Hanguang-Jun, their resolve waivers. Finally, Lan Sizhui scuffles up to the throwing line, throws, and hits him directly in the face. Everyone is mortified until, with his usual stoic expression, Wangji flicks the whipped cream residue right back at Sizhui and the juniors cluster, and now it’s WAR.

LAN XICHEN: He… doesn’t get it? Why is this a thing? Who invented this? He’s glad that his brother is having a good time, but seriously, what?

NIE MINGJUE: He signs up with enthusiasm because HUZZAH! FEATS OF STRENGTH AND AGILITY FOR THE YOUTH! He is extremely strict about the rules of pie engagement, however, and god help you if you step over the throwing line.

NIE HUAISANG: He preemptively volunteers to run the booth’s cash register. Oh, darn! Looks like he’s busy! No pies in the face for him!

WEN QING: Is not impressed by Wei Wuxian’s idea of charity altogether. Poise and dignified, was dared into the booth by Wang LingJiao and Wen Chao. Paid for each pie thrown at her.

XIAO XINGCHEN: This is for kids, right? Suggests places people should hit.

A-QING: Is paid by Xue Yang to throw pies at Xiao Xingxhen. Has to hit every once in a while, or else. Pretends to have hit Xue Yang himself unintentionally.

SONG LAN: Wasting food? For charity? Contradictory, no? Pays everything he has on him for pies and spends evening sharing pies with less fortunate.

XUE YANG: Wasting sweets? For kids? Only as a deadly weapon.

SU SHE: Tries to get his newly-created clan’s reputation off the ground level. Lan Xichen suddenly understands the point behind the whole thing and gives more money out to his Sect’s desciples.

JINSHU&YINSHU: Throw pies at Wei Wuxian on Madame Yu’s behalf not under her orders though. Bring Jiang Cheng change of clothes and wet towel.

LAN QIREN: Is impressed by benevolence of the charity-pie-throwing gesture, still keeps the younger disciples away from this ‘entertainment’.

MENG SHI*: Rumour has it, she’s still haggling over fair prices on the pies thrown at her.

SISI: Goes full Dita von Teese with pies in the adult-only section of the festival. For charity.

_______

*—series viewers won’t know, but MY/JGY’s mom’s name was Meng Shi.

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