#it took a few days but it was worth it
dracula voice my three girlfriends. and yes, they suck blood.
do they suck blood?
yes, actually.
you mean they arent just drinking a juice? but a blood juice?
it’s called a bodily flud…. not juice… and yes, they are drinking human blood. they all drink blood before we kiss. (they are my girlfriends,)
they dont look like they drink blood
Fuck You.
Fuck You.
Fuck You.
Fuck You.
Fuck You.
Fuck You.
Fuck You.
Fuck You.
Fuck You.
Fuck You.
Fuck You.
Fuck You.
I’m so angry you are so lucky my three blood slorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.
Your “Blood drinking girlfriend” has a hello kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.
I commissioned an artist to create a portrait of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Aenemia or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I handpainted on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my castle at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING
Well that escalated quickly……
What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Sanquine grabs my shoulder* Come on Count, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just tear you apart with my big fucking teeth. With each bite I let out a furious yell. The bites come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the bloodless husk that is now your body*
haha oh my god
who even is this dude? someone needs a visit to the lunatic asylum.
love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SUCK BLOOD HURRP DURR”.
and let’s not forget the “Anaemia” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “vant to see you standing outside [his] castle holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.
“the bloodless husk that is now your body”
I’m dying over here, jesus.
please, Dracula, come challenge me to a bout of journalistic witticisms; I promise, it’ll be fun.
*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot…
*leaves with my three blood slorping girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*
this vamp playing omg
Come again? *The tavern falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty cup, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the tavern is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you. I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive sharp teeth that look like they were made for biting. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my teeth and instead of walking it’s biting. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Count Dracula publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Aenemia…. Sanquine… Palsma… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.*
Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the tavern but are hit almost immediately from a carriage and are killed upon impact.*
