#items was hundred proof alcohol
I love fantasy as a genre but I swear to god if I see one more character put a filthy nasty bloodied blade back in it’s sheath without so much as a courtesy wipe I’m going to take a hobbit by the ankles and beat them with it what the FUCK
Saw my guy Mr. Tough Man grab his scabbard and went “Don’t do it, bitch” out loud before bitch Did It and had to full on pause the episode and take a walk. GIRL YOU HAVE GUTS IN YOUR SCABBARD NOW. HOW ARE YOU GONNA CLEAN THAT. I’m legitimately so mad
Oh, hey, while I’m at it: WHY LORD WHY are you carrying WHOLE ASS KILLS back to the MIDDLE of your camp when you HAVEN’T EVEN BUTCHERED THE DAMN THING? Do you *enjoy* sleeping next to congealed blood? Your bed is going to smell like death. Fuck. Do you want wolves? Because that’s how you get wolves
A Buff Action Man will be like “anyone else gonna pour brown liquor on that open wound” and then not wait for an answer
“We’re stuck in freezing temperatures, drink this alcohol, it’ll warm you up”
Bitch I’ll kill you
the last one is real
If by “real” you mean “a bad idea” then they ALL are, but if by “real” you mean “it works”, then yeah, but it will kill you faster.
Alcohol is a vasodilator. You know how drunk people get flushed and pink in the face? That’s blood. Blood is warm, so your skin feels warm.
You know where that blood isn’t, now? At your core, bringing oxygen to your vital organs.
You know that you can black out from being too cold? That’s your blood prioritizing your brain and heart and kidneys and shit over piddly optional bullshit like “warmth”. By forcing it to the surface, you’re cooling it down faster, and distracting it from keeping you alive, and on top of that you’re making your system work overtime filtering out the literal poison that your dumb ass is funneling into your body.
I’m PASSIONATE about this
