#jets emotional constipation will back-fire on him
from dirt in the doing.
It’s not like he has any extra feelings to spare. He barely has any for himself. The necessary ones mostly: anger, stubbornness, unfortunately sensible fear, even more unfortunate desire. Jet runs on adrenaline and spite and he doesn’t need or want other people around cluttering up his spaces or plans unless they’re going to listen to him and be useful.
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Because Copper communicates. Jet shuts everything inside.
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Jet doesn’t have feelings. He can’t afford them. They weigh him down and tangle up his thoughts.
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It’s too early for this. It’s too early to be itching for a fight, to admit a new person into his personal circle of protection, to be thinking about planning a murder.
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Jet feels any sympathy he had for her dissolve into anger. An easy switch, one he’s very used to. Emotion for adrenaline, his favorite trade-off.
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Jet can’t recall lying to her, but he also can’t deny that his behavior has just been terrible, and that the hypocrisy of demanding she allow their help is much too similar to his own philosophy of taking care of things himself.
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Jet doesn’t do this, doesn’t say these things. But he’s slowly realizing that change is not the most terrible thing to happen. He is capable of caring, and it’s not the end of the world.
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There had better be benefits to becoming a more considerate person, or he is going to kill something.
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Usually learning his lesson takes a lot longer than a single fight, and Jet knows that there a plenty of lessons he refuses to learn simply because he likes getting into those fights, but he won’t do that with Rune.
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Jet glances at Moss and they share a silent thread of fondness for the children that their friends are, before Jet looks away first. He can’t be too generous. Perhaps moments like these are precious but he doesn’t know how to hold them. Better to let them go as soon as possible and move on, hoping there will be more but unwilling to trust in it.
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Despite his fearlessness in every other area, where his brother is concerned, Jet finds himself easily disturbed. If Copper asks him any question, seriously, with eyes that will search out the answer in silence if not in spoken words, Jet will feel compelled to answer.
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Jet kicks a stone in Yarrow’s direction. It doesn’t hit him, and the bright sounds of Yarrow’s laughter make Jet want to join in. Shadow is laughing too, his hand gripping Jet’s shoulder to keep his balance.
It comes as a surprise to know that this makes him happy. It comes as a surprise to know that he’s been craving this.
Shadow releases him to make Yarrow walk normally before he trips and injures himself. In the absence of an audience, Jet smiles.
