#jongho fic

LIVE

Summary: You meet Jongho of Ateez at the gym when your friend nearly hits on him before realizing how old he is. She’s not interested in younger men. You aren’t either. …Are you?

Words: 6k

Warnings: slight jealousy, coming out as queer

Author’s note: I’ve finally finished this beast of a fic, ugh. Literally all I wanted to write was Jongho falling in love with an older reader, but because of his personality it turned into 14k words… RIP. There will probably be an epilogue of fluff if there’s interest!

***

You:Hello, this is Y/N

Jongho:Hello Y/N-noona! Thank you for texting me.

Jongho:By the way, I’ll be at the gym this Friday after 6.

That Friday, you walk up to the gym to find Jongho and Suhyeok in deep discussion on the doorstep.

“Your judgement is officially off, hyeong.”

“What? Why? Did Y/N-noona tell you about her date with Dongun?”

“You said he was picky. He wasn’t picky at all, he was straight-up clingy.”

“Eh? What do you mean?”

“He literally held onto her hands like this and said, ‘Looking forward to our next date’.”

You clear your throat. “Hey, guys.”

Both of them startle and look around.

“Oh, hi, noona!” Suhyeok greets you.

“Hello.” Jongho drops Suhyeok’s hands and tucks his own in his pockets.

“Why are you re-enacting my date with Dongun?” you ask, amused.

Jongho presses his lips together and doesn’t say anything.

Suhyeok fills in for him: “He’s saying Dongun was… clingy? Is that what you were saying, Jongho-yah?”

“He didn’t act picky,” Jongho corrects.

“Well, I think that’s because he’s into Y/N-noona,” Suhyeok says enthusiastically. “What did you think of him, noona?”

You shrug. “It was a short meeting. I don’t have an opinion yet.”

“But you liked him enough to agree to a second date, at least.”

Jongho frowns. “That’s not liking someone, that’s just… not disliking someone.”

“What are you talking about?” Suhyeok chuckles. “Anyway, glad to hear! Let me know when I’ve redeemed myself for last time, okay?”

“Are you going to keep finding me men to date if I turn down Dongun?” you joke.

“No,” Jongho says.

“It might take me some time, but I’ll work on it,” Suhyeok replies brightly.

“I’m kidding, please don’t work on it.”

“Don’t,” Jongho repeats.

“Are you sure? Well, you can always let me know if you change your mind, okay?”

“She said don’t!” Jongho snaps.

Suhyeok blinks at him. “Why are you yelling?”

Jongho purses his lips. “…You’re ignoring me. And you’re not listening to what noona’s saying.”

“Eh? I am listening. I’m just letting her know she can change her mind, that’s all.”

But Jongho continues to frown, and Suhyeok’s smile is fading as he stares back, so you quickly intervene. “So!” You clap your hands. “Are we working out today, or no? Suhyeok, are you meeting Yeona?”

“Ah. Right!” Suhyeok brightens and heads into the gym.

You glance at Jongho. “Coming?”

“…Yes.” He gives a short nod and follows you in.

You catch up with Suhyeok at the front counter, where he’s waving to Yeona as she talks to Geonhui, another staff member.

“Noona!” he calls. “Hello, hyeongnim!”

Yeona bids farewell to Geonhui and comes out from behind the counter. “Hey, Suhyeok-ah, Y/N-ah, Jongho-ssi.”

“Thank you for taking care of noona, hyeongnim!” Suhyeok shouts to Geonhui as Yeona ushers him away from the counter.

“You’re loud,” she comments.

“Since when does Geonhui-oppa take care of you?” you ask her, chortling.

She grins and gives you a hug. “He doesn’t, Suhyeok just decided that by himself.”

“You said I could make friends with them so I wouldn’t get jealous.” Suhyeok begins to pout.

“Yes, yes.” She reaches up to pat his neck while you snicker. “Good job, okay?”

He beams instantly and leans down to give her a peck. Yeona dodges by ducking behind you, and Suhyeok’s kiss lands on your temple instead.

“Hey!”

All of you look around at Jongho’s voice. He’s standing a few metres away, looking left out.

“Yes, Jongho-ssi?” Yeona asks him.

His jaw works. “Hyeong—kiss your own girlfriend.”

“Eh?” Suhyeok blinks. “Uh, yeah, I was trying to.”

“No, you kissed Y/N-noona.”

“Not on purpose, it was an accident.”

“I said no skinship at the gym,” Yeona scolds him.

He pouts again. “I missed you so much, though.”

Yeona turns to you. “Y/N-ah, are you by chance looking for a clingy boyfriend?”

“No,” you reply.

“No,” Jongho says at the same time.

“Noona…” Suhyeok’s pout grows as he sidles up to Yeona. “Don’t say things like that.”

She laughs and reaches up to pinch his cheek. “You know I’m kidding.”

You’re startled when Jongho reaches out and grips your elbow to tug you toward him. “Hey? What is it?”

“Give them space.” He drags you almost effortlessly to his side, arm muscles flexing. “You don’t want to be accidentally kissed again, right?”

Uh, you don’t really care, but you can humour him. “I guess you really hate kissing, eh?” you remark as you watch Yeona tease Suhyeok.

Jongho looks at you. “What?”

“Hm? On those idol shows, didn’t you say you hate kisses?”

“Oh, er, yeah.”

“You better warn your future girlfriends,” you joke.

“Well, it’s not that I hate all kisses,” he quickly says. “They just—have to be on my terms.”

“Sure, boundaries.” You give him an encouraging smile. “It’s good to know your own.”

“It’s not that I don’t like them at all,” he repeats.

“Got it.”

“Y/N-ah, listen,” Yeona says, bringing your attention back to her. “Want to join me and Suhyeok for drama night this weekend? He’s insisting we watch Pretty Noona Who Buys Me Food.”

You chuckle. “Isn’t that one of those noona romances where everything goes wrong?”

“It’s a happy ending!” Suhyeok protests. “And I think it’s pretty realistic.”

“Debatable,” Yeona says dryly. “Anyway, please don’t make me suffer through it by myself.”

“You won’t be by yourself,” you point out, “Suhyeok’s watching it with you.”

“I need another ajumma there to help me crush his starry-eyed dreams,” she says, skipping over to link your arm with hers. “Please? I never see you outside of the gym anymore, Y/N-ah.”

“Aish.” You smile as she swings your arms back and forth. “Fine. You’re lucky I don’t mind being the third wheel.”

“Hey, what do you think about inviting Dongun?” Suhyeok comes over to join you. “Is it too early?”

Jongho edges forward. “Isn’t it way too early?”

“Yeah, it is,” you agree. “That’ll be awkward, Suhyeok-ah.”

“Okay.” He nods. “I just didn’t want you to feel left out, noona.”

You reach up and ruffle his hair. “I think I’ll be too busy crushing your starry-eyed dreams, kid.”

“Yesss.” Yeona holds her hand out to you for a high-five. “Suhyeok-ah, send her your address.”

Suhyeok pulls out his phone. “Saturday evening works for you, right, Y/N-noona?”

“Yep.” You take out your own phone to see his text.

Jongho, who’s still hovering at your side, speaks up. “Noona. Why didn’t you reply to my text?”

You look up. “Hm?”

“After I told you I’d be here on Friday, you didn’t reply.” He whips out his phone and shows you the conversation from his side.

“Oh, that—” You pause. “Well, I don’t know, I just thought maybe you’d get in trouble with your manager if I said I’d meet you.”

He exhales. “Noona, I told you. I’m not going to get in trouble.”

“Look, I know the K-pop industry is really controlling, okay? I heard you’re not even allowed cell phones until you get your first win on a music show program.”

Jongho huffs out another breath, then grabs your hand. “Come with me.”

“Eh???” You stumble after him as he pulls you back toward the front door. “Hey, no need to drag me, I can walk.”

He pauses to adjust his grip and intertwine his fingers with yours, and then proceeds to tug you with just as much force as before.

“Yah, just because we’re holding hands now doesn’t mean you’re not dragging me.” You follow him out the door and into the small parking lot wedged next to the gym.

Jongho heads for a minivan parked at the very back and knocks on the window of the driver door. You stand back at arm’s length, unsure what to expect.

“Hyeong!” Jongho calls, knocking harder. “Wake up!”

The window rolls down and a man pokes his head out, looking bleary-eyed from sleep. “Oh, Jongho-yah. What’s up?”

“Hyeong, please meet Y/N-noona.” Jongho tugs you forward, and the man’s sleepy gaze lands on you. “Remember I told you about her? She’s a regular at the gym here, she’s Suhyeok-hyeong’s friend.”

“Oh—hello.” The man quickly pops the door open and gets out to give you a polite bow. “Nice to meet you, I’m Jongho’s manager.”

You return the bow. “Ah, nice to meet you, Manager-nim.” Wow, he’s a lot younger than you’d imagined an idol manager to be; he looks to be about your age, in fact.

“Hyeong, tell her she’s allowed to text me,” Jongho insists. “She thinks I’ll get in trouble if I use my phone like a normal person.” He gives your hand an emphatic squeeze, which makes you realize he’s still holding it, yikes. You quickly yank free.

Jongho’s manager looks between the two of you. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not going to be in trouble for texting with her, right?” Jongho waves his phone around.

“No, why would you?”

Jongho turns to you. “See?”

“I mean… don’t idols need to be careful about who they interact with?” you ask cautiously.

Manager nods. “Yes. But are you someone who’ll hurt Jongho or Ateez?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then.” He nods again.

Jongho grins. “See?” he repeats. “Our managers are cool with it. So don’t avoid talking to me anymore by using the excuse of not getting me in trouble, okay, noona?”

“All right,” you agree reluctantly. “But did you get your manager to drive you out here just so you could prove this to me?”

“Hm? Ah, no, Manager-hyeong always drives me whenever I visit the gym.”

Your eyes widen as you look back to Manager. “Always? And you wait for Jongho, the whole time in the van?”

“Yes,” he says.

“He naps,” Jongho inserts.

“When do you get off work, then?” you ask.

“As soon as I see Jongho back to the dorm. So it differs, depending on the day.”

Wow. “That sounds like a demanding job.”

“It can be,” Manager acknowledges. “But it’s a meaningful job, so I enjoy doing it.”

“I see… that’s very impressive.”

He ducks his head, a gesture you recognize from Jongho when he gets embarrassed. “Ah, well. Thank you.”

“Anyway, that’s it, hyeong,” Jongho interjects. “Come on, noona.” He takes your hand in his again and turns back toward the gym.

“Hey—” You twist your hand free.

He frowns over his shoulder at you. “What? You heard Manager-hyeong, it’s fine.”

Manager clucks his tongue. “Jongho, manners.”

Jongho subsides at the scolding tone and tucks his hands behind his back. “…Right. I apologize.”

“Oh, that’s okay.” You whip out a hasty smile.

“If Jongho causes you any trouble, please feel free to contact me at any time.” Manager takes out a business card and hands it to you.

Slightly confused, you accept it. “Uh… thank you.”

“Hyeong,” Jongho says, in a tone that’s almost a whine.

“Yes?”

“Are you asking her to tattle on me?”

“Not if you don’t do anything worth tattling about,” Manager replies mildly.

Ooh, there’s the control. You cringe a little on the inside, watching Jongho stiffen as he and his manager share a look, and search for something to say to lighten the mood.

“Ah, so I shouldn’t use your number to ask you on a date?” You keep your tone light and a pleasant smile aimed at Manager.

They both snap their heads around.

“A—date?” Manager repeats, sternness gone from his voice. He blinks rapidly at you.

“What?” says Jongho.

“Oh, wait, are you not allowed to date, as part of an entertainment agency?” you realize belatedly. Whoops, dumb choice of distraction.

“No, no—that is, the kids can’t date, of course,” Manager clarifies, “but there’s no rule for the staff or crew.”

“I see. Okay. Well, never mind.” You dip your head and turn to Jongho, who’s staring at you like you’ve gone nuts, to make your strategic retreat back to the gym.

“Uh, it’s not that I wasn’t interested,” Manager says.

What?

You turn back. “Pardon?”

“That is… I am single right now.” His ears are turning red, and he can’t hold your gaze for longer than a second. “And, well…”

As he trails off, his meaning dawns on you: he’s saying he’sinterested.

Yikes, you did not expect him to take you seriously. You work up a smile again and flail for words. “Ah, all right. Then… uh, I’ll be in touch.”

“Okay.” Manager ducks his head again, revealing his flushed neck. “Nice meeting you, Y/N-ssi.”

You barely get the chance to bow back before Jongho’s taking your hand again and pulling you firmly away. This time you don’t fight him, glad to have an excuse to flee the scene.

Once you’re back inside the gym, Jongho rounds on you. “Yah, noona. What was that?”

“Eh?” You pull your hand free. “What was what?”

“Why did you ask my manager out on a date?” He’s frowning hard.

“Oh, I was just trying to lighten the mood,” you explain. “He gave me his card and then you asked if I was going to tattle on you, so—”

“That doesn’t mean you can ask my manager on a date. You already have Suhyeok’s colleague lined up.”

“Hey, I’m not actually going to ask your manager out. I only wanted to convey that I’m not going to call him about you, that’s it.”

“But you got Manager-hyeong interested in you.”

Is he accusing you? “I wasn’t trying to lead on your manager-hyeong, okay? Besides, his heart isn’t going to break after just one meeting, I’m not that attractive.”

“Yes, you are,” Jongho argues.

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are, noona! That Dongun guy was desperate for a second date!”

You let out an exasperated laugh. “Jongho, that’s a sample size of one. Look, if you’re that worried about your manager-hyeong, I’ll send him a message and let him know I’m not actually interested that way. Happy?”

“No,” Jongho states baldly.

“Then what do you want??”

“I—” He cuts himself off, clamping his mouth shut.

You put your hands on your hips. “What?”

But he presses his lips together and looks away.

You sigh and drop your hands. “All right, well, I’m not going to contact your manager unless you ask me to. Got it?”

Still tight-lipped, Jongho manages a nod.

“Okay. Then, if we’re done with this argument, I’m going to work out.” You turn and head into the gym.

He follows on your heels. “Wait, noona. Where are you going? Let’s do weights first.”

You pause and look back at him. “You still want to work out together?”

“Yes,” he says, like it’s a no-brainer.

Well, why not. “Okay,” you agree, and follow him back into the weights section.

Dongun:Hello Y/N-ssi. Are you free for brunch on Sunday? Did you get the list of cafés I sent you?

You:Hi, yes, I think the second one looks fine. How about 11 on Sunday?

Dongun:Perfect, I’ll see you there ^^

On Saturday evening, you knock on Suhyeok’s apartment door.

“Hi, noona!” Suhyeok swings open the door. His face brightens when he sees the large bag of popcorn in your hand. “Oh, you brought snacks! Awesome, I was just about to run out and grab some.”

“You didn’t have any in advance?” You tsk as you enter and kick off your shoes. “I guess you don’t know yet that Yeona’s a snack fiend.”

“I do know!” Suhyeok insists. “I just forgot to restock from last week.”

“Can you believe this kid doesn’t keep snacks in his cupboards on the regular?” Yeona calls from inside. “What kind of college grad is he, honestly.”

“It’s been two years since I graduated college, noona,” Suhyeok replies as he follows you into the living room.

“Y/N-ah, my saviour!” Yeona leaps up from the sofa and embraces you (and the bag of popcorn). “Suhyeok-ah, go get a bowl, will you?”

Obediently, Suhyeok turns and heads back into the kitchen.

You chuckle and extract yourself from Yeona’s hug. “Two years since college. How old does that make him, twenty-four?”

“He’s twenty-three, he graduated early, the nerd. Sit down, I’ll get the TV set up.”

“Well, damn.” You sit down at the end of the sofa.

“Hey, I heard Dongun’s similar, you know. It’s their company, it attracts nerds.” Yeona returns with the remote and plops down next to you. “Did you set up the second date yet?”

“Yeah, we’re going for brunch tomorrow. Pray for me.”

Yeona laughs. “Should I pray for things to go well, or should I pray in case things don’t go well?”

You consider. “I’ll settle for praying that things don’t get awkward.”

“Oh, that’s true, Jongho said Dongun was super into you. It’s awkward when someone’s more into you than the other way around.”

“You would definitely know,” you say affectionately. “Queen of the unrequited crushes.”

Yeona rolls her eyes and elbows you. “That’s old news now with Suhyeok.”

“True.”

“Speaking of, where is he with that bowl?”

Suhyeok reappears at that moment with bowl in hand. “What’s old news?”

“Oh, Yeona used to be queen of the unrequited crushes,” you say casually.

“Be quiet,” Yeona says to you. “Suhyeok-ah, bowl.”

“Ah, here.” Suhyeok hurries over to hand her the bowl.

You look up, past him, and do a double take—there’s Jongho hovering just inside the doorway to the living room. “Uh, Jongho???” Where the heck did he come from?

“Hello, Y/N-noona, Yeona-seonsaengnim.” Jongho bows to you and Yeona.

“Oh, Jongho,” Yeona says with surprise, “what’re you doing here?”

“Suhyeok-hyung invited me.” Jongho edges further inside, eyes darting around. “I hope I’m not intruding.”

“Oh, no, that’s all right. I mean, I invited Y/N-ah, so you’re like Suhyeok’s plus-one,” Yeona reassures him.

“No, noona, I’m your plus-one,” Suhyeok says, sitting down on Yeona’s other side.

“Please, Y/N and I have been each other’s plus-ones way before you entered the scene,” Yeona says blithely.

“She means platonically, Suhyeok-ah, don’t worry,” you reassure him.

His eyes grow round. “W-wait… noona. Do you… are you attracted to women, too?”

“Which noona?” you ask, fighting a smile.

“Both of you. Either of you.”

Yeona sends you a look. “Should we say or nah?”

“You’re really going to leave Suhyeok in suspense like that?” you chortle.

“I mean, Jongho’s here, too. Maybe we shouldn’t offend his idol sensibilities.”

“You can ignore me,” Jongho says quickly, sidling in along the edge of the room with small shuffling steps.

“Yeona-noona…” Suhyeok’s looking between you and Yeona.

“If I tell you, are you going to start being jealous of all the women I interact with?” Yeona teases him.

He starts to pout, beseeching eyes aimed at her. “Noona…”

“Aish, stop it, you’re too cute.” Yeona breaks into a wide smile and reaches out to embrace him. “Yes, Suhyeok-ah, I’m attracted to women, too.”

“Whaaaat? Noona…!”

You laugh as Suhyeok throws himself on her, buries his head into her neck and starts whining. “All right, Jongho, let’s give them some space.” You stand from the couch and lead a wide-eyed Jongho back into the kitchen.

“Um, noona.” He enters after you, looking slightly dazed. “Yeona-seonsaengnim is…?”

“Bisexual, yes. Me, too,” you add.

His eyes go even wider. “You, too…?”

“Yeah.” You tilt your head. “But we’ve never dated each other. In case you’re wondering.”

“Oh, no, I wasn’t,” he says hastily, lifting his hands.

“Okay.” You shrug and turn to grab a glass of water.

When you turn back around, Jongho quickly averts his gaze, but you see the shell-shocked expression on his face. Yeona was right; his idol sensibilities are definitely ruffled, if not offended.

You decide to change the subject. “You have time these days to attend drama nights?” you ask with a light smile.

“Ah—yes. Because we just finished promoting for a comeback,” he says, words stilted. “So we have some time to rest and recover.”

“Wait.” Something occurs to you. “Don’t tell me—is your manager-hyeong waiting outside the building in the van??”

“No, no,” he says quickly. “I took a taxi here.”

“Okay, good. Otherwise I think we’d have to invite him in,” you joke.

“Why?”

“Why? You realize that each drama episode is an hour long, right? He might as well watch with us instead of waiting by himself.”

He darts a glance at you. “Have you… contacted him?”

You frown. “No. Didn’t I tell you I wouldn’t?”

“Right.” He drops his eyes, but lifts it right away. “Then… have you seen Suhyeok’s friend again?”

“We’re meeting tomorrow morning. Why?”

“Nothing.”

You narrow your stare at him. Jongho only manages to return your gaze for a few seconds before blinking and looking away.

Sigh. Well, whatever. You pick up another glass and fill it for him. “Here. I’ll go check if Yeona and Suhyeok are done making out.” Placing the glass in front of him, you exit the kitchen and tiptoe toward the living room.

Aaand nope, they’re still all over each other on the couch. You can hear Yeona trying to get words out, while Suhyeok just seems focused on kissing her all over. Better leave them to it.

You return to the kitchen with a wry smile on your face. “Let’s give them five more minutes,” you tell Jongho.

“They’re…?”

“Making out, yeah.” You chuckle. “I bet Yeona didn’t expect that reaction to her coming out.”

Whoops, you brought it up again. But Jongho doesn’t stiffen up as much this time, at least.

“Noona.” He fiddles with his glass as he looks at you.

“Yeah?”

“I’m—I don’t care if you’re… bisexual, or not. I’m okay with it.”

Wow, talk about unexpected. Despite his awkward delivery, you have to smile. “You don’t have to say that, but thank you. I appreciate it.”

“It’s true,” he insists, still looking directly at you. “It doesn’t matter to me, in the end. I was just surprised.”

“That’s a normal reaction,” you acknowledge.

“It doesn’t matter,” he repeats, straightening. “I still feel the same.”

You nod. “I guess you are a 2000s kid, right? Modern and all that.”

He frowns. “Noona.”

“Yeah?”

“…I’m not a kid.”

“Ah, right. Sorry.” Guess that’s a sore spot for him.

Jongho puts down his glass and rounds the kitchen table toward you. You blink at him, taking a step back into the counter. Damn, you didn’t exactly realize before, but he’s quite a bit taller than you.

“Noona.”

“That’s the third time you’ve said that,” you say lightly. “What is it?”

“I… still feel the same,” he says quietly.

“What?”

“Since I first saw you two months ago—since we first met…” He swallows. “I felt this way then. And I feel this way now.”

“You—” You try to think his words through. He feels…?

Wait. Wait.

Your hands clutch at the counter behind you.

Is he saying—?

“Y/N-ah!”

Yeona bursts into the kitchen just then, slightly out of breath. “Come on, let’s get started, I finally got Suhyeok to calm his ass down. Oh—”

She pulls up short at the sight of you and Jongho.

“Am I interrupting?” she asks.

You look at Jongho. He looks back at you, lets out a breath and pulls away.

“…No,” you reply belatedly. “Let’s watch.”

Yeona looks between you and Jongho, but he just picks up his glass of water and hightails it into the living room. You do the same, leaving Yeona no opportunity to ask what the heck just happened.

Honestly, you’re not even sure you know.

In the living room, the problem of seating arrangements distracts everyone.

“Suhyeok-ah… your couch is too small.”

“Sorry! It’s because I live alone,” Suhyeok apologizes to you and Jongho. “Um, let me grab the kitchen chairs, Yeona-noona and I can sit on those. You two take the couch.”

“No, no,” you insist, waving him back down. “It’s your drama night. I’ll just sit on your rug.”

“Y/N-noona, no—”

“Pass me a cushion,” you command, and he complies automatically. Grinning, you plop down on the ground and nestle the cushion under your bum. “There, I’m good to go.”

Jongho sits down next to you, ignoring Suhyeok’s protests, and states, “I’m good, too.”

“Take a cushion, at least, Jongho-yah.” Suhyeok hands him a cushion. “Man, I can’t believe I’m making my girlfriend’s best friend and a K-pop idol sit on my floor.”

“Idols can sit on floors, too,” Yeona says flippantly, settling back into the couch. “Remember, Jongho, it’s good to remain humble.”

You chuckle. “Don’t take it personally, Jongho. She’s just jaded about K-pop.”

“Here we go,” Suhyeok says, and starts the first episode.

You settle back and focus your attention on the TV. It’s been a while since you’ve watched dramas together with your friends, and you’re happy to fall into the familiar cadence of commenting on the story together.

“Romance dramas always start with a break-up, I swear,” Yeona says in between loud mouthfuls of popcorn.

“You’ve got to show the heroine at her lowest point.”

“Honestly, if a guy broke up with me using those lines, I’d just say ‘okay, thanks, bye’.”

You chuckle and reach back for your own handful of popcorn. “Same. There’s nothing to mourn.”

“But the familial pressure makes it hard to just let go of the relationship,” Suhyeok argues. “I think that’s what this first episode is trying to say.”

You glance back at him in time to see Yeona giving him an equally skeptical look.

“I don’t know, I think Y/N and I are two good examples that being thirty doesn’t mean you have to succumb to familial pressure and get married.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Suhyeok says quickly. “But if you still live with your parents, if you see them every day, it’s hard to escape from those expectations. Right?”

Yeona cocks her head and exchanges glances with you. “Y/N-ah?”

“I threw off those expectations during college,” you say.

“Yep, me too,” Yeona says.

Suhyeok’s eyes widen. “So—are you estranged from your parents?”

“No, not at all.” You laugh. “I just don’t care that much about societal expectations, and that includes those that manifest through our parents.”

“I believe my parents want me to be happy,” Yeona says confidently. “It’s just society that makes them think that I’ll only be happy with a secure job and a wealthy husband. As long as they see that I’m happy otherwise, they’ll change their minds.”

“You should be glad we don’t care about expectations, Suhyeok-ah,” you say with a smile. “Otherwise Yeona wouldn’t be dating you.”

His eyes grow even rounder. “Ahh. Right.”

“My poor baby dongsaeng, did you only just realize that?” Yeona elbows him playfully.

“Don’t worry, Suhyeok-ah, you’re still young,” you say. “Lots of time to figure out what pressures and expectations you’ll accept or reject.”

As you turn around and face the TV again, Jongho’s profile catches your eye. He hasn’t said anything, just glanced back and forth occasionally as the three of you talked. You suppose it’s a different world for him—the expectations he faces aren’t anywhere near the same.

You’re halfway through the episode when Yeona lets out a gasp.

“We’re out of popcorn!”

“Already??” You twist around to see her tilting the bowl above her head to empty the last bits of popcorn directly into her mouth.

“All right, I’ll go buy more.” She sets the bowl down and stands. “Sit tight, everyone.”

“Noona, wait. It’s getting dark out,” Suhyeok says, standing with her. “Let me go.”

“No, I need to get the proper snacks,” Yeona says firmly.

“Just go together,” you advise. “Don’t take too long, or Jongho’s going to have to go back to the dorm before we get to finish the first episode.”

“Okay, we’ll be quick!” Yeona waves and heads out the door, Suhyeok scrambling after her.

In the sudden silence of the apartment, you glance at Jongho. He’s staring straight ahead at the paused drama episode, contemplating Son Yejin’s face.

“Noona,” he says suddenly.

“Hm?”

He looks at you. “Do you know the group Topp Dogg? And their former member, Hansol-seoonbaenim?”

“Yes, I do,” you say. “What about him?”

“He… came out as asexual and aromantic a few years ago.”

“Mm, that’s right.” Your curiousity’s piqued.

“He said he didn’t feel destined to be married. I… that resonated with me, a little.” He tilts his head and looks away. “I don’t think I see marriage or dating as a necessity.”

“It’s not an inevitability,” you add.

“Yes, exactly.” He nods. “It’s not exactly the same, but when you and Yeona-ssaem were talking about throwing off expectations… I think I get that.”

“I see.” Good for him.

“But—I’m not asexual, or aromantic.” He looks back at you. “I figured that out.”

“You did?” you repeat, because you’re not sure what else to say.

“Yes.” He looks into your eyes, and you can’t look away long enough to figure out if he’s leaning in or not. “When I—when I’m…” He takes a breath. “When I’m with you, noona…”

Oh.

“I feel this way,” he says, softly. He lifts a hand, touches it to his own chest. “It’s been two months, but I can’t help it, I—I still feel this way.”

Your mouth opens, but you don’t know what to say. He looks… reluctant, reticent, restrained. It’s almost like he’s in pain. You want to reach out and hold the hand he’s pressing to his heart.

His eyes search yours, like he’s looking for an answer. “Do you feel it?” he whispers.

The words dive deep, strike you deep.

You can’t stop yourself, you can’t not take his hand in yours. Not with his eyes looking into yours, asking for the truth.

“Jongho.”

Carefully, tremblingly, he turns his hand over in yours and slides his fingers in between yours.

In the hushed dark of the apartment, you look at him. He looks back at you.

What is this? What are you feeling?

“Jongho,” you say again.

“Yes, noona.”

“Are you… sure?”

He blinks slowly at you, and you realize just how close he is.

“…Yes.”

Maybe that wasn’t the right question. “You… you’re an idol.”

His hand tightens around yours. “I know.”

“And I’m thirty—”

“And you’re ten years older than me,” he says. “I know.”

You gulp. Why is he so self-assured about this?

“I know that,” he repeats, with a little more urgency. “I’ve known from the beginning, noona. But… this is still the way I feel.”

“Jongho,” you can’t help asking one more time, “are you sure—”

“Noona, I want to see you outside the gym like this. I want to tell my manager-hyung to back off and stop being interested in you. I want to spend time alone with you. I want to—” He stops himself with a huff.

Okay. Now you’re blushing.

“Please, tell me.” He leans closer, peering into your face. “I know I’m an idol, I know you’re older, I know there are so many other things out there, but—can you tell me if you feel it, too?”

You swallow.

“…I do.”

His breath catches.

“You do? You… like me too?”

“Did you say you like me?” you shoot back, feeling your face flush even more.

“I like you, noona,” he blurts, and smiles like a sunbeam.

“Oh my God.” How can he suddenly be so straightforward? You lift your free hand and shield your eyes from the sheer joy in his smile. “I’m too old for this.”

Jongho grabs your hand and pulls it away so he can beam into your face. “No. You’re just right.”

“Yah, take it easy.” You can’t help laughing at his sudden enthusiasm. “Yeona and Suhyeok are going to be back any minute.”

“It’s okay if we tell them, right?” He sits back but keeps both your hands in his.

“Tell them what?”

“That we’re… together.”

“Are we together?”

His smile fades a little. “Aren’t we?”

“Uh, I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far yet.”

“…I have.” He ducks his head.

“What do you mean?”

“Um, well, I want to d-date you,” he says, with a slight stutter that’s honestly adorable. “And, if it’s okay with you… I’d like to tell my managers and members.”

You blink. “Is that going to be okay?”

“I don’t know, but… noona, I want you in my life,” he says, like another confession. “Please.”

God, you just want to melt. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

You squeeze his hands. “Go talk to your managers and members, and let me know what they say. Then we can decide how to proceed.”

His face lights up. “Okay. O-okay, I’ll talk to them. Thank you, noona.”

“Don’t thank me,” you say with a small laugh. “This is going to be hard, you know.”

“It’s fine,” he says firmly, edging closer to you. “You said you don’t care about societal expectations, right?”

“Yeah, but my expectations and yours are different, Jongho-yah.”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll handle my side.” He sidles closer; at this point he’s almost in your lap. “I won’t burden you, noona, I promise.”

All you can do is look at his earnest face, his shining eyes, his sweet smile, and smile back. You’d never have expected this for yourself, but, oh, does it feel wonderful.

“We’re back—! Oh.”

Yeona comes to a screeching halt at the living room doorway, plastic bags swinging from her hands. Suhyeok stops behind her, looking over her head at you and Jongho curiously.

You jerk back from Jongho, and both of you turn to face them.

“…Okay, this time, I’m definitely interrupting something,” Yeona says suspiciously.

You look at Jongho. He looks back, then reaches out and takes your hand again.

“We’re dating,” he blurts.

“Jongho—!” you sputter.

He looks back at you. “We can’t tell them?”

“It’s not that.” You can feel heat flushing up your face.

“No way!” Yeona cheers, drops the bags and rushes forward to toss her arms around the two of you. “Congratulations!”

“Uh,” says Suhyeok. “Congrats, guys, but Jongho-yah, you should know that your manager’s waiting outside.”

Jongho pulls back to stare at Suhyeok. “What? Already?”

“Oh yeah,” Yeona says. “He asked about you, Y/N-ah.”

“What??” Jongho stiffens immediately. “What did he ask?”

You grab at Yeona’s arm to try and stop her, but she responds anyway: “He asked if you had a boyfriend. Guess the answer’s yes, now, right?”

Jongho stands up abruptly, face now dark. “Come on, noona.” He tugs you to your feet as well.

“What? Where?”

“We’re going to tell Manager-hyeong we’re together.”

“Hey, wait, Jongho-yah—” You plant your feet, but he’s strong enough to pull you forward a few steps. “Let’s think about this and approach him later when we’re cool-headed, okay?”

He rounds on you with a huff. “What do you mean later? My manager’s interested in you! Like I told you!”

“Yeah, but I’m not going to date him,” you try and reason with him. “Don’t do anything rash right now, Jongho-yah.”

“Oh—and tomorrow’s date with Suhyeok’s colleague,” he says. “You’re going to cancel it, right?”

“Ah, poor Dongun,” Yeona says dramatically. “Tossed to the curb without a second glance.”

That does not help Jongho’s pout. “Noona.”

You let out an exasperated breath. “Yah, I didn’t even think about that yet.”

“Looks like you picked a jealous guy too, Y/N-ah,” Yeona chuckles.

You sigh and turn to her. “Yeona, are you by chance looking for a clingy boyfriend?”

“No,” she says.

“NO,” says Suhyeok.

“Noona!!!”

***

#choi jongho #jongho x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez fic #jongho fic #jongho x you #jongho fanfic #ateez scenario #ateez imagine #eaf original #eaf writes ateez

@eastasianfeelings

Wed, 19 Aug 2020 00:00:31

Author’s note: a bunch of outtakes from when I was wrestling with my 14k Jongho noona fic (part 1|part 2). I love these bits a lot, so posting them here for posterity~

Words: 1.8k

Warnings: none

The next day’s Saturday, and you decide to treat yourself with a pre-workout smoothie at the café next to the gym. When you pick up your drink, though, you’re handed something different.

“Excuse me, this isn’t my order,” you say to the barista.

“Oh, sorry about that.” They check the receipts, then call out, “Who ordered a Muscle Beast Protein Mylkshake?”

“That’s mine.” A portly middle-aged man steps up to the counter — definitely not the kind of guy you’d imagined ordering that particular drink.

“Ah, this is yours, then,” you say, handing him the shake.

“And here’s your Strawberry Sunshine Smoothie, miss.” The barista hands you another cup.

“Thanks.” You take your smoothie and sip happily.

“Hyeong, was there a problem?” asks someone else.

The man turns around, and promptly hands the milkshake to… Jongho.

“No, no problems,” he says, giving you a polite nod.

Of course, that causes Jongho to look around. His eyes widen. “Oh — noona.”

“…Hello.” You dip your head awkwardly; your feet can’t decide whether to stay or run.

The man looks between you two. “Who is this?” he asks Jongho.

“Ah, this is…” He trails off, but only for a moment. “This is Y/N-noonim, she’s a regular at the gym next door,” he recovers, pulling up a natural-looking smile. “Are you going to work out too now, noonim?”

“Uh, yes.” You try to smile back, but it feels slightly painful.

“By the way, this is my manager-hyeong.” Jongho gestures to the man.

“Nice to meet you,” you say automatically.

“You too,” says Manager. “You’re a regular?”

“Yes.”

“Then, please look after Jongho,” he says with another dip of his head.

Eh?? “Er, um…” Why are you suddenly looking after Jongho?

“Let’s go together, noonim,” Jongho says, as if this is all completely normal.

“Okay,” is the only thing you can say, and that’s how you end up walking into the gym together with them.

“Thanks for the drive, hyeong,” Jongho says.

“I’m joking.” Chuckling, you reach over and ruffle his hair. “Just don’t get in trouble, okay?”

He reaches up and removes your hand, still pouting. “I won’t get you in trouble.”

“I meant you, kid.” You tug at your hand.

He doesn’t let go. “I’m not a kid.”

“Oh yeah? When did you graduate high school?”

“More than two years ago.” His chin goes up.

“Two years ago.” You cluck your tongue and shake your head. “You know how old I am, Jongho-ssi?”

“…How old are you, noonim?”

“Thirty.”

“Oh.” He blinks. “That’s not so old.”

“But still old compared to you,” you say cheerfully, and tug at your hand again.

Jongho lets go this time. “Yeona-seonsaengnim is dating Suhyeok-hyeong, though. He’s only three years older than me.”

“That’s true.” What’s he getting at? “Wait, don’t tell me — you like her too??”

“No!” he protests. “You’re the one I like, noonim.”

You relax. “Okay, because I’m pretty sure Suhyeok would fight y…”

Wait a sec.

What… did he just say?

“What,” you say slowly, “did you say?”

Jongho’s face has flushed beet-red, and yet he still somehow has the temerity to say: “Can’t I?”

“Can’t you?” you repeat on a splutter, shaking your head. “Can’t you??”

“Do you have a boyfriend already?”

“No, I — that’s not the point — ”

“Then can’t I like you?”

You’re pretty sure your jaw is hanging wide open at this point. Where the hell is this coming from? Is this some kind of TikTok prank — make a random confession to someone you’ve talked to three times? You glance around just in case someone’s secretly filming a video nearby.

“You don’t believe me.”

Jongho says it as a statement; when you return your attention to him, he’s looking at you with puppy-dog disappointment in his eyes.

“Um, no.” Your frankness just dials up his disappointment, and you scramble to put your thoughts together before his puppy eyes weaken you. “I mean, we barely know each other, and I’m nine years older than you, and —” You drop your volume. “— you’re an idol.”

“I know all that.” Jongho just looks at you steadily, red-faced and all. “And I know that I like you, noona.”

“You — yah, did I say you could call me noona?”

“I’ve been calling you noonim all this time,” he points out.

Okay, not the point. “Never mind. Look.” You struggle to lower your voice again. “Jongho-ssi, you know this won’t work.”

“You don’t like me?”

“I — it’s not that I don’t like you, okay, but —” A smile lifts the corner of his mouth, and you hurry to squash it. “You’re an idol, you know? You’re not allowed to date. You’re not even allowed to have crushes.”

“We’re human, too. We get crushes,” he argues.

“But are you allowed to confess? What would your manager say if he were here right now? What would your members say?”

Jongho has no response for that, just a pout that makes you want to melt despite yourself.

“Jongho-ssi. I’m flattered, I really am. And thank you for having the courage to confess. Let’s just move on from here and remain gym acquaintances, all right?” You try an encouraging smile.

“…Fine,” he says, eyes downcast.

“Okay. Good. Great.” How does one exit these kinds of conversations?? You could really use Yeona’s expertise right now. “Then… I’ll get going first —”

“We’re gym friends, at least, aren’t we?” He meets your gaze again, almost defiantly.

Uh. “…Sure,” you say, though you’re really not that sure.

“Okay.” Jongho gives a stiff nod.

You nod back, equally stiff. “Well, have a nice day.”

You resist the urge to glance back as you make your escape to the cardio machines. Man, what an otherworldly experience.

You get in thirty straight minutes of cycling thanks to your preoccupation with Jongho’s confession. Before you know it, your water bottle’s empty and your legs are aching; time for a break.

You hop off the bike and head for the water fountain. You’re so concerned with trying not to seem like you’re watching out for Jongho that you bump straight into someone who’s filling up their own bottle already.

“Sorry!” You quickly bow. “My bad.”

“That’s all right.” The man bows back.

“Oh, noona!” Suhyeok appears from behind the man with a grin. “You’re here today?”

“Oh, hey, Suhyeok-ssi.” You glance around automatically for Yeona. “Yeona’s not working today, is she?”

“Eh, come on, noona, I can visit the gym without my girlfriend, can’t I?” His grin grows bigger.

You smile at his cheek. “Did you ask her whether you could start calling her your girlfriend?”

“I’ll ask her next time I see her,” he promises. “Oh, hyeong —” He turns to the man. “This is Y/N-noona, she’s Yeona-ssaem’s best friend. Noona, this is… er, hyeong, am I allowed to tell her your name?”

“You just call me Manager-hyeong anyway,” the man says dryly, offering his hand to you.

“Right, he’s one of Ateez’s managers!” Suhyeok says. “He’s how I met Jongho.”

You shake his hand and say jokingly, “I’ll call you Manager-oppa, then.”

To your surprise, he blushes a little. “Um, okay.”

“Ooh, you made him shy,” Suhyeok says with a chuckle. “It’s because you spend all your time around boys, hyeong, you need to get out more.”

“Be quiet, you punk.” Manager elbows him.

“Manager-hyeong?”

Another voice makes the three of you look around, and you’re alarmed to see Jongho approaching with an inquiring look.

“You know Y/N-noona?” he asks, coming to a stop as his gaze moves between the three of you.

“Hm? No, Suhyeok just introduced us,” Manager says, puzzled.

“I liked her first,” says Jongho.

What?

“What?” says Suhyeok.

“What?” says Manager.

“I mean…” Jongho flushes.

“Jongho,” Suhyeok says, a smile slowly spreading on his face. “You… like Y/N-noona?”

“No, of course not,” you say quickly. You’re not even sure why you’re covering for Jongho, except that it feels wrong somehow to expose his schoolboy confession. And you don’t want him to get in trouble with his manager.

“Jongho?” Manager asks him.

He looks back, and repeats: “I liked her first.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know we have the same taste,” Jongho says stubbornly, even as his face turns redder and redder.

“The same taste… in women?” Suhyeok asks.

Eh???

“I wasn’t thinking anything like that,” Manager says, having moved on from puzzled to dumbfounded. “Hang on, wait — you likeher?”

“No,” you say loudly.

“…Yes,” says Jongho.

You nearly facepalm.

“Choi Jongho.” Manager’s tone gets stern.

“I don’t like him back!” you say quickly. “Nothing’s going to happen, Manager-oppa.”

“Why are you calling him oppa?” Jongho asks you, frowning.

You suck in a breath. “Is that really the point right now?” you hiss. “I’m saving your butt here.”

“I don’t want to be saved.” He scowls. “I want to date you.”

“Yah!” You have half a mind to leap forward and clamp a hand over his mouth.

“Are you serious, Jongho-yah?” Manager’s staring hard at Jongho. Meanwhile, Suhyeok’s mimicking eating popcorn behind his back; you send him a glare.

“Yes.”

You groan under your breath.

“She says she doesn’t like you back.”

“For now,” Jongho says.

“I’m thirty,” you interject. “I’m way too old for Jongho.”

“I like older women,” Jongho says, and flushes harder.

“So do I,” Suhyeok says cheerily. Everyone ignores him.

“What if she doesn’t come to like you back?” Manager questions.

“Then… I won’t date her,” he says, subdued.

Manager seems to think this over.

“Manager-oppa, you’re not actually considering this, are you?” you demand. “He’s your company’s idol. Isn’t this against the rules?”

He turns to you. “We do have a rule about dating,” he states. “But it’s dependent on the circumstances.” Without elaborating further, he asks next, “Has Jongho caused you any trouble? Do you want him to stop coming to this gym?”

“What?” You’re taken aback. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. Shouldn’t you tell him to stop?”

“If he does cause you any trouble, please feel free to contact me at any time.” Manager takes out a business card and hands it to you.

“Er, okay.” You take it. This is a surreal conversation.

“Remember how you hit on Jongho that time?”

“You better have a good reason for bringing this up again.”

“Uh, never mind then.” Maybe you shouldn’t tell Yeona, you think as you pedal furiously on your bike. K-pop idols probably don’t want their rash confessions being aired.

“Wait, now I’m curious.” Yeona puts an elbow on the bike handlebars and props her chin on her palm. “Tell me.”

You whip out your phone and snap a photo. “How can you pose like that and bike at the same time? I should send this to Suhyeok.”

“Yah, you should at least show me the pictures before you send them to people.”

“You always look fabulous anyway.” You show her the photo.

“Stop complimenting me and tell me why you brought up my cursed episode with Jongho again.”

“Cursed episode?” You laugh.