#jorel decker
Actually tho…
Ihate love all of them
Side note:
I know he isn’t, but Jay almost looks like he’s wearing a g string
open roleplay: you’re daniel murillo. you walk into hollywood undead’s studio to get an update on how the production of your new single is going. you have to push the door extra hard to slide the empty bottles of alcohol out of the way. charlie scene is duct taped to a ceiling fan. something seemingly inflammable is on fire. funny man is passed out under a table with a capri sun in his hand. there’s a pentagram on the floor and j-dog is lying in the middle of it. johnny 3 tears is at a computer, eyes dead yet staring through you. tech n9ne is kept in a large bird cage with a microphone.
You decide to leave Funny and Charlie alone for now. As long as they’re breathing, you really can’t be bothered, after all, they’ve got no lines to record today. You start wading through the ocean of bottles to try and get to the others, and when you finally reach them, Charlie has started screaming at you. “Where are the bitches at?“ He yells. “You brought no bitches, Danny?“ You decide - for your own mental health - to ignore the maniac overhead and instead go over to Johnny to lightly kick him in the shin. After he finally looks up at you, you nod into the direction of the recording booth. After all, if he starts recording his lines now, that will leave you with enough time to check on j-dog.
After the giant of a man stands up, you finally turn your gaze back to tech n9ne. You feel sorry for the poor rapper, you really do, but you know that you can’t risk getting him out of there. The others might lose their trust in you, and then, you would be the one staring out from behind these bars.
You shudder at the thought. There’s no way in hell you’re doing that again. It took you six months to convince the others to let you out of there after you first “joined“ the band. You don’t plan on going through that ever again.
you ignore j-dog’s demonic screeching and decide to check funny man’s pulse.
“oh my god, he fucking dead,” you whisper.
guess his stans aren’t getting any new content this album.
Then again, you think, except of the occasional funny man stan no one will notice if he doesn’t have any lyrics.
You’ll just get Johnny to dump him in the same ditch you left Da Kurlzz in a couple years ago.
But as you go to throw the dead Funny Man over your shoulder, he jerks awake. You look over to see J Dog with his eyes open and screaming “It worked!”
Times seems to freeze for just a few moments, while your gaze travels from the now wheezing Funny Man on your shoulder, who is muttering about cocaine and gummy worms under his breath, to J-Dog who is now sitting up, with bloody sigils painted all over every visible inch of his skin. There is a deranged glint twinkling in his eyes.
Before you can even consider which one of you thousands of questions you should ask first, time resumes and the smell of smoke hits you nostrils. You come to the jarring realization that, just because you choose to turn a blind eye to the burning inflammable object in the corner, doesn’t mean it will just miracle itself out of existance.
And now the fire was spreading.
Fuck. Your. Life.
Then you realize that’s there’s still juice in Funny’s Caprisun. It’s a long shot, but it might stop the fire. You dash over to the juice box and puncture a larger hole in the top, then chuck it at the fire.
It doesn’t work, and now the room smells like burning fruit juice.
You decide the building is a lost cause, and make your way outside while choking on the smell of the burning juice. You toss Funny on the sidewalk, and turn to face the building as he swears at you. How do you get the rest out?
You see a stray cat walking along the edge of the road. You yell, “Jorel, look!” and point towards the cat. He chases after it. Hopefully he won’t get hit by a car, but at least he will be safe from the fire, and he may even get a new pet out of it.
You run back inside of the building and spot Johnny exiting the recording booth. A short yell about the bookstore around the corner having a sale is all it takes for him to be gone.
You will deal with the consequences of having lied to him once everyone is out.
Charlie is still taped to the ceiling fan, and you run to the switch to turn the damn thing off. You run back to the fan and look up. That is when you realize your big mistake.
You are not nearly tall enough to actually reach Charlie. You look around, but the only chair in the room is already on fire, and the couch would take to long to move. There is no way you will manage to get him down on your own.
So you turn to the only other person left in the room.
Tech N9ne stares back at you trough the bars.
You know what you have to do
Reluctantly, you open the door to the cage, and grab his arm so he doesn’t run. He sighs and tells you to get on his shoulders. Now with the extra height, you can reach Charlie. After a minute or so of frantic tape throwing, he crashes to the floor, knocking you over
You feel as the rapper under you staggers before loosing his balance, before gravity pulls you in and you both pitch backwards.
The last thing you see is the floor getting closer. Then a shock goes through you body and your vision fades to black.
You wake up in a hospital. Charlie is in the bed next to you yelling at one nurse to show him her tits and frantically pleading with another one to replace his IV with alcohol. You turn to your other side, and see Johnny giving you a disapproving stare and jdog holding a cat that clearly doesn’t want to be held. Jdog is now covered in scratches and probably needs a rabies shot.
You look back at Johnny and he continues to give you a cold stare. You try to break the eye contact, but when you do, he decks you.
You recover from being decked in the face to see Johnny being dragged away by security, Charlie being given a sedative by the nurses because they’re tired of dealing with him, and Jorel has managed to tame his cat and you can see a bandaid on his arm, hopefully from a rabies shot. You assume Tech N9ne has fled far far away, and you don’t blame him as part of you wants to do the same. Hopefully he already recorded his part of the song. You actually start to relax ever so slightly until it hits you.
Where is Funny Man?
You immediately sit up, there’s no way in hell leaving him out on the streets alone isn’t an absolute recipe for disaster. He could manage to set a bloody fire extinguisher on fire if he tried!
Suddenly there’s a bunch of nurses around you trying to hold you down. They try to get you to calm down and tell you that you need rest. Something about inhaling too much smoke and a concussion.
But they’re distracted by Charlie suddenly waking up and screaming about how it’s time to rave already. This gives you just enough time to weasel out of their grasp and sprint out of the room.
You manage to escape the hospital. Wandering around town you manage to find Funny whos on a leash tied to a telephone pole near whatever’s left of the studio. You assume Johnny did that to keep him from starting some sort of trouble. You wheeze as the running has tired you and whatever the nurses were talking about. You untie him and bring him back to the hospital so its easier to keep track of him.
Fortunately for you, you kept Funny on the leash. Every building he walks by, he tries to enter, rambling about getting a new caprisun. It’s a wonder you two didn’t get hit by a car on the way, although it almost happened a few too many times for your comfort. As you approach the hospital, you see Johnny glaring down at you from one of the windows. Suddenly this seems like a bad idea
But before you can even consider just turning around and walking away, a nurse spots you and leads you back inside, talking about how you shouldn’t just leave like that and that the police wanted to talk to you.
It takes you a moment to realize why the cops might want to talk to you, but even in case Charlie was the one who dragged you out, someone had to stop the fire, and some random passerby probably called 911.
You just hope to get this over with quickly, you think, as you give the leash a tug to make sure that Funny is still there. Maybe you can be out of here before Johnny tracks you down again.
(So I just stumbled over this again and decided to dig up the actual corpse that is this post.)
The nurses try to get you settled back into your hospital bad, but you refuse to do more then just sit down. You can never now when Johnny will turn up again after all. Charlie is passed out again, and someone (probably Jorel) drew a dick on his face. While you’re tying Funny’s leash to Charlie’s bedpost a few people enter the room, and look at you weirdly. You can see that the nurse closest to the doctor is leaning over to her to whisper something in her ear, though you don’t hear what they’re talking about.
A few cops question you, but they give up when they realize that you really don’t know how the fire got started. Soon enough you’re left alone with your three bandmates again. Still no sign of Johnny.
The nurses once more try to convince you to get some sleep, but you know that as soon as you close your eyes, all hell will break loose. So despite being exhausted, you force yourself to stay awake. For a moment, things actually seem calm. Or as calm as your life gets, at least. This calmness is ruined, however, as you hear a voice you know all too well.
Johnny
You can’t even make out what he’s saying. There’s just a distant voice far off down the hall, but it’s definitely him. The voice gets louder and louder, but you can’t bring yourself to look. It then goes dead silent. You can see it, his shadow. He’s standing right behind you
You’re still staring at the ground so you see his shoes come into view as he walks around you to stand in front of you.
The silence around becomes suffocating, but you still can’t bring yourself to do anything about it. Suddenly, there’s a hand on your shoulder and you tense up, waiting for the inevitable punch that you’re sure is on it’s way, only to see a teddy bear appear before your eyes.
It isn’t pretty, or cute. Honestly, it looks like someone decided to stuff it down a chimney that hasn’t seen a good sweeping in a while, but you think this is Johnny’s way of apologizing.
Finally, you look up at him, but you can see he absolutely refuses to meet your eyes.
For a moment you think that maybe, just maybe, you can finally get some rest. Charlie is asleep, Funny is tied to the bed and can’t get away, Johnny seems to be on good enough terms with you that you don’t have to worry about him murdering you, and Jorel is busy with his new cat. As much as you want to just fall asleep, you have a terrible feeling that something is still wrong. You haven’t known peace in your life since “joining” this band, why would right now be any different? So you sit with your new teddy bear that looks about as rough as you feel, and you wait for the next unfortunate event in your life to come hit you like Johnny’s fist to your face.
Despite your best effort, sleep does eventually claim you and you slip off into the dreamworld.
You don’t know just how long you were out, but when you wake up, Jorel is shaking you frantically, it takes a while to understand what he’s trying to tell you, but he is yelling in your face so you eventually decipher, that you have… to go to pay the price for Funny’s resurection now? Just when you thought that you could finally have a break.
Johnny is already standing behind him, with a packed bag on his back while Charlie is trying, with emphasis on trying to untie Funny from the bedpost.
You freeze. You think to yourself, can I really endure anything else today? The answer is probably no. While you often seem invincible, you are still human, with human limits, and you actually might die if you continue with whatever your band mates are preparing for. You realize it is your job as the mother of the band to stop them from putting themselves in the way of any more harm.
“No no stop we aren’t going anywhere” you decide. Jorel looks at you like you’ve said the stupidest thing he’s ever heard, and to him, maybe you did. “Daniel, this isn’t hard to understand. We brought Dylan back, now we have to go pay the price.” Dylan looks at you with a hurt expression before saying “Dannyboy, I thought you loved me more than that? How can you think I’m so worthless that you wouldn’t have to pay a price for me? I’m like, Gucci quality.” Charlie perks up at the mention of Gucci, and frantically starts asking if they will be making a trip to the store.
You can’t bring yourself to do anything more than stare at your bandmates as you contemplate whether you want to cry, scream, or beat your head against the wall. You end up doing none of these, but instead come up with a response that will hopefully get the four of them on your side.
“Listen, if someone or something has a problem with Dylan’s resurrection, then they can bring it to us. Why should they be a coward and hide away until we find them?”
You pray that this will work, and some god must hear you, because it does. They start discussing how tough and confident they are and that no beast or monster would ever come to them looking for a fight. The relief you feel nearly brings you to tears. It is in this moment you wonder
Did they ever record the song?
You try to think back to the start of this whole disaster. Your memories have gone a bit fuzzy what with the blow to the head you suffered when you and Tech n9ne got Charlie free from the ceiling fan, but you’re certain that you sent Johnny into the booth to record his part when you first arrived. That only leaves Jorel and… Tech n9ne.
Shit.
You really hope he already recorded his part, because there’s no way in hell you’re getting him back now. You go over your mental checklist of artists that HU hasn’t threatened, kidnapped or otherwise chased away to scour for potential other collab partnes who could take over his part. Didn’t that german artist say he was interested in working with you a few months ago? Ghostkid? That could actually work.
You give the dirty teddy bear one last comforting squeeze before you turn your focus back to your bandmates to interrupt their still ongoing posturing and declerations of strenght, bravery and badassery and ask if Jorel already did his part.
That is the moment when you suddenly realize something. All of their clothes are covered in sooth and grime. Sooth that came from the fire. The fire that burned their studio down.
Fuck, did their recordings even survive the fire? you don’t know how great the damage is. You start sprinting out of the room, cutting straight through the pulk of weirdoes you call your friends and you hear their protest slowly fade into the distance as you near the hospital doors. You need to go check on the studio right away.
You feel the fresh night air hit your face when you finally get out, closely followed by you colliding with a body. You quicky right yourself, planning on muttering a quick apology before running off into the night, but your brain grinds to a screeching halt as you set your eyes on none other than Tech n9ne.
He mutters a quick “Don’t worry, I’m getting you out of here“ before a dark bag is thrown over your head. You hears what you think is an alarmed cry from Johnny, far away, before you’re thrown onto a hard surface.
A motor starts running and the van you’re in grumbles to life and speeds off into the night.
