Headcanon that Kakashi was actually one of the best honeytrap ninjas of his generation. Hear me out as I lay out his 100% foolproof game-plan. Also pardon the terrible sketches, I was so curious about this premise that I had to draw it out but it was also very late so I didn’t try very hard.
We all know that Mr. Hatake is absurdly attractive. That’s why he wears a mask, to prevent fatalities caused by spontaneous nosebleeds. (citation needed)
When Kakashi needed to dig for information, he would use this to his advantage. A disguise wasn’t hard since very few know his face - he’d just wear his hair differently, cover his Sharingan with an eye-patch, and dress just a little too well for your average traveler, to make sure he attracted the right amount of attention.
Once he made it into town, he’d locate his mark - usually the wife or daughter of the daimyo, but really whoever you want to insert here, go crazy, heck let’s make his mark you, pretend you’re some sort of important person with state secrets okay - and ‘accidentally’ bump into you and spill something on your clothes, but really cool and attractive-like. He apologizes. Sparks fly. He offers to buy you dinner and a drink to make up for it, and duh ofc you’re saying yes.
During the entire meal, you somehow end up talking about yourself the entire time, no matter how many questions you ask him. And you find yourself drinking a little more than you’re used to. He just sits there (ninja-ing his alcohol away), and sometimes smiles a small smile that makes your heart flutter. The only thing you find out about him is a tragic(ally fake) story about how he lost his family and friends and left eye, and wound up a traveler doing odd jobs to get by.
At this point you probably offer him shelter for the night, if not invite him point blank into your bedroom. In any case, as you exit the place you’ll find that hooligans will invariably appear out of nowhere and attack you (gasp! where did they come from???), and he gets mildly but attractively injured saving the day. So then of course you have to offer to bandage him up. Point is, eventually he gets into your house with his shirt off, and you’re really not thinking straight anymore.
At this point, you’re trying you’re hardest to be coherent and ask him what you can possibly do to thank him for saving your life back there, and now he begins to ask for favors. “I just need to sleep, can I be alone for a bit?” And sneaks around your house stealing incriminating documents. “Your mansion is so elaborate…Can I have a tour? Oh, are there any secret passage ways? That’d be so cool if there was, like a real shinobi castle.” He mentally catalogues everything and sends it back so the ANBU can plan an attack.”Hey, that gala that you said your diplomat uncle will be at, do you think I can go? I’ve always wanted to attend a gala.” And assassinates your uncle.
And that is his 100% foolproof honeypot strategy.
He’s never slept with anyone while on a mission, because that is shady af. However, there have been incidents where some of his marks found out he was a spy after the fact and were still ready and willing. Those he considered fair game. It’s fine, you never liked that uncle anyways.
…thanks for making it this far into my weird ramble. >_>
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Kakashi’s 100%, Fool-proof, Honeytrap Game PLAN - A Kakashi Headcanon (THE REMAKE pt. 3/?)
The two of you wind up at your favorite ramen shop. You come back from freshening yourself up to find that he’s taken his coat off (he knows what he’s doing), and is now chatting up the owner to gather more intel get your favorite order right. How sweet of him.
(also dude can you please stop model posing for just one second ugh)
During the meal, you end up talking about yourself the entire time, no matter how many questions you ask him. And you also find yourself drinking a little more than you’re used to. He just sits there attractively (ninja-ing his alcohol away), laughing at all the right moments and making all the right comments and ensuring your sake cup stays filled.
The only thing you learn about him is when you invariably ask about his eye, and he suddenly goes quiet. Just when you’re worried you’ve crossed a line, he starts telling a tragic(ally fake) story about how he lost his family and friends and left eye, and wound up a traveler doing odd jobs to get by.
After he finishes, he looks up at you.
“You’re…the only one I’ve ever told that to. Thank you.”
And he smiles the softest smile you’ve ever seen, and BAM he’s got both your loins and your heart now ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
At this point you probably offer him shelter for the night, if not invite him point blank into your bedroom. In any case, as you exit the place you’ll find that hooligans have invariably appeared out of nowhere (gasp! where did they come from???), and he gets mildly but attractively injured saving the day….
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Would this work on you? B/c it’s working on me :/
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