Fox Mulder is such an amazing character, though, because on paper, he sucks: Wiseass federal agent with a porn addiction who is obsessed with conspiracy theories, thinks he’s the smartest guy in every room that he’s in, and is just hot enough to be dangerous.
But David Duchovny plays him with such dumb, gleeful kid energy that suddenly it all just…works.You can’t hate him. Look at him!
He’s got nonthreatening male sexuality of a Disney prince in the 90s. You look at him and think Look at this hot idiot, He’s trying his best. All he wants to do is get laid, infodump to his girlfriend, and meet a real life dracula. He’s like if you turned an orange male cat into a human. He definitely owns an album of Halloween sound effects. He’s six feet tall but he’s just a little guy.
So I’ve probably told this story before, but - my Gay and Lesbian Studies professor. He’s fairly elderly; he was young in the ‘60s. And he was called up for draft for the Vietnam War. And, like most everybody who was drafted for the Vietnam War, he didn’t want to be in the Vietnam War.
This is the story of how his draft went, as best as I can remember how he tells it.
“Well, son,” said the doctor assigned to do his physical. “You seem healthy from here. Is there any condition you have that would disqualify you from serving in the United States Army?”
“Yes, sir,” said my professor. “I’m gay.”
The doctor blinked at him.
Looked at the door.
Looked back.
“Do you understand what you’re telling me? Do you understand what this means?”
What this meant, in 1969, was that he would be sent home, with the information given to everyone in his hometown about exactly why he had been sent home. It meant he would be disowned by his family. It meant he could pretty much never get a job again. And this was decades before Lawrence v Texas, so it also meant he could very well get arrested.
But, you see, my professor had already been outed. And all these things had already happened.
So “yes, sir,” he said.
“Are you absolutely positive?”
“Yes, sir. My boyfriend is waiting for me outside. Would you like us to demonstrate?”
my bf made entire an online jeopardy drinking trivia game for my bday tonight and just spent the last 20 minutes explaining the code to me in extreme detail…fuck I love him sm
Image 1: A quote retweet from Dr Jordan B Peterson @/jordanbpeterson quote retweeting a tweet from the New York Post @/nypost. The original tweet saying “Yumi No ‘shaking’ over SI Swimsuit cover reveal trib.al/H9q8II1″ Attached is a picture of Yumi Nu on the cover of Swimsuit 2022 magazine wearing a black bathing suit. Jordan B Peterson, who’s name is red, replied saying “Sorry. Not Beautiful. And no amount of authoritarian tolerance is going to change that.”
Image 2: A tweet from karl :) @/KarlJacobs_ replied saying “Ratio + ur Ugly + whip + foolish in the background”. Attached are three pictures. The first picture is of an old guy who looks miserable, the second is Karl Jacobs getting ready to whip and the third picture is of Karl whipping.
In the town where I grew up, there was a large statue in one of the parks, of a famous historical white colonizer. I’m not going to say who specifically, suffice it to say that it was someone who wasn’t worth memorializing for their deeds. And as you can imagine, this statue was a frequent target of vandalism, with paint or toilet paper or eggs on multiple occasions. Now, the local council was generally pretty lax when it came to repairing potholes or other public damage in the town, but every time, 24 hours after this particular statue was hit, the same person would always appear in a Hi-Vis vest, hat, mask and sunglasses, carrying a bucket of water, and wash it clean. They would do it as quickly as possible, but always made sure the face and the name carved at the bottom were generously scrubbed. This only encouraged people to do it again, and so it became a vicious cycle.
Within a year, the statue had sustained so much damage that it was unrecognizable and the lettering unreadable, so eventually the council came and took it down. Also apparently, the person in the Hi-Vis vest didn’t even work for the council. They were supposedly just some ‘good samaritan’ who cleaned it, often before the council even discovered it needed cleaning, so they just let them do it and ignored the problem. They didn’t bother putting the statue up again.
Much later, we found out that the anonymous 'samaritan’ had been deliberately washing the statue with a bucket of saltwater, which had dramatically corroded it, causing irreversible accumulative damage far worse than spray paint ever would have done. It’s even theorized that they were also often the one spray-painting it, just so that they had an excuse to come back after a day to wash it.
eminem’s got about lyrics about how the secret service interviewed him, so a journalist FOIA’d info about eminem from the secret service to fact check his rap
it turns out the secret service investigated eminem because of lyrics threatening trump and ivanka
and they really did interview him
and when one of the secret service agents started reading the threatening lyrics out loud eminem started rapping along
duck newton really is the character of all time though. when he was 18 an 8 foot tall glowing woman appeared and told him he was the chosen one and gave him a talking sword. and he was like. no. and he gave the sword to his friend and became a park ranger
