#kinkeducation

There were some resources like this when quarantine first started, but I haven’t seen them since then. So, because there are still lots of people at home, and lots of people who’s living situation changed, or any number of other reasons I’m going to give some tips on giving aftercare when you’re not there. A lot of these are standard aftercare procedures, but it’s the emphasis on them that counts in these moments. It’s very easy to forget about them because you’re not there in person. 

-If you’re not already on the phone or videoing, do this for aftercare. Being able to see your smiley happy face is much better than trying to decipher things through text.

-Remind them to drink water and eat a snack. It’s difficult to remember to do these things when they’re not in front of you after a session. Remind them. And if they’re anything like me, convince them to get off their comfy spot.

-Suggest getting a hot drink like tea or cocoa or cider or whatever. Getting cozy with a cup of hot liquid is actually way sexier than it sounds (The internet says there are even actual mental wellness benefits from snuggling with a hot drink but don’t quote me on it). 

-Identify stuffie and/or pillow to also have them snuggle with. Basically anything that is going to create a comfier space for them will probably be a good idea. blankets, pillows, change in lighting, music and so on. Especially if it’s something you gave them. 

-Emphasize your praise and any words of affirmation that you are giving them afterwards. The better you use your words the better it is going to be. Hug them with your words since you can’t hug them with your arms. 

-Watch something together. Luckily there are all kinds of “watch party” apps now that will easily let you do that so find something to watch once you’re both settled in comfy and stay connected while you’re watching. Don’t hang up. 

-Remove the temptation to do other things while you’re giving aftercare for the both of you.