Stuck at home because of Secret Reasons today, so I’m hauling a bunch of random finished things out from behind the couch to post pictures. Everything is for sale in the usual Make Me An Offer kind of way - as much as possible I’ll try so rough out how much time was probably spent making each thing and what it would cost if I was asking full price…but I’m not asking full price. As always, partial payments and trades of neato keen things are also totally valid for consideration.
First! A blue and white market bag/beach m/tote bag. I made this early in the pandemic when stores were not offering regular paper/plastic bags any more. It’s a two handle design for security and weight distribution. The net/mesh pattern makes it very stretchy.
The bottom is…I honestly don’t recall where I got it. I think it’s the center part of a video rage doily pattern, upsized. I like how it looks like hearts
It’s acrylic yarn for the sake of being totally washable.
I have no clue how much time I spent on this. Upward of five hours, probably, but five is a good math number so let’s use that to estimate time costs at various price points!
Federal minimum wage is $7.25/hr
7.25 x 5 = $36.25
Massachusetts minimum wage is $14.25
$14.25 x 5 = $71.25
And for the capper, an “expert wage” - I’ve been doing crochet for 36 years, so let’s just say a buck per year (don’t come at me, I know this is actually still a very low hourly expectation for a real expert, but we’re just mathing here)
$36.00 x 5 = $180.00
Do I want someone to pay me $180 for this bag? Fuck no! (I mean if you want to, feel free, but I’m only doing that part of the math to continue showing the various values of handmade fiber arts versus the price is mass manufactured fast fashion)
What I DO want is for this bag to go get used in the world and stop lurking behind my couch. Want it? Make me an offer!
A Dragonfly Scarf!
It is dragonfly both in design and in colorway - the yarn is a Red Heart Unforgettable in the dragonfly colorway. 100% acrylic, excellently soft for wearing against the neck (I can NOT with scratchy yarns, so this yarn was a great find).
The pattern is based off someone else’s design for…I think it was for a blanket, and it had the dragonfly motifs evenly spaced. I staggered them to somewhat mimic how dragonflies zigzag in their flight, added an eyelet edge to keep the whole scarf from rolling/help it lay flat.
It is not a long scarf, but it is long enough to bring the middle around and tuck the ends through or to wind all the way around once and tuck the ends inside the neckline of your jacket/sweater/hoodie to foil drafts.
How long did this take to make? Fuck if I know! Possibly five hours, maybe as many as seven, so mathing it out like above would be:
FedMin $36.25/$50.75
MAMin $71.25/$99.75
ExpWage $180/$252
Totally wild. Make me an offer that suits you instead, you deserve nice things and I need to vacuum behind my couch.
A Lost Souls market bag!
If you’ve been around me for any length of time you know what a dork I am for Maryetta Roy’s Lost Souls skull shawl pattern, so I made a bag using its motif.
It’s a single strap bag but the strap is thick for support. (I hate when bag straps dig in) it is an acrylic yarn, because washable is crucial when white fibers and foodstuffs are in close quarters.
The bag is smaller but, like the first one, has a mesh/net pattern to give maximal stretch.
The bottom of the bag is where our little skull friend is hiding!
This bag probably took in the 3-5 hour range, so
FM $21.75-$36.25
MM $42.75-$71.25
EW $108-$180
Damn, that’s a hell of a span. Anyway, want a cool mesh bag with a skull motif on it? Make me an offer!
A blue wrap!
I thiiiiink this was a pattern I made up, but I can’t be sure. If anyone recognizes it LMK. For me, it’s sort of a repeating pattern of offset leaves.
I feel like even the closeups do not do justice in conveying the softness.
It is a long boi, this wrap! For reference, your stylish Fiber Wizard Slash De Facto Model is 5’2”, and as seen seen below this DOES drape past the knee on both sides.
Strongly recommended for wrapping entirely around at least once, possibly while burrowing into the corner of the couch with a book and a cup of hot tea for Maximum Coze.
What fiber is it? Fuck if I know! It was yarn I got in a box from a friend when she destashed her dead mom’s house. Pretty sure it’s some flavor of acrylic though.
How many hours did it take? Your guess is almost as good as mine! Given the size I’m guessing it was comparable to the time I dump into a large Lost Souls shawl, so easily in the 15-20 hour range. With that for our math, we get
FM $108.75-$144.00
MM $213.75-$285
EW $540-$720
Looking at these time/money comparisons really does throw couture/OOAK high fashion piece pricing into a new light for me, damn.
Anyway, if you want to get a champagne item and you’re working with a beet nudge, that’s cool because my couch does not need a wrap against its back to be more cozy. Make me an offer!
