I’m sorry sir but your file doesn’t say anything about an early release. In fact you still have quite a long time to go before you meet the minimum time served requirement, and I’m afraid that I’ll have to report this as an attempt to subvert your keyholder’s wishes so if I were you I’d anticipate quite a lot more than that.
Oh it seems you do qualify for a free automatic cage upgrade though so I’ll go ahead and schedule that for you; the new model is really something special, designed to enhance a male’s suffering tenfold!
