Bre’s Boys Preference: Headrush

Oh boy, oh geez… I have no excuse except that I WARNED ya’ll I was gonna do this. PLEASE comment and let me know what you think. Also, these are pretty decent lengths, and I’m kinda proud. Anyway– lemme know what you think about this one! Bye!

(No Nick; I couldn’t get into it for him, sorry!)

Headrush definition: a sudden feeling of intense pleasure or euphoria

warnings: STEAMY, all smut, creampie, unprotected sex, anal sex, oral sex, dirty talk, orgasms, biting, dick sucking, squirting, hints of yandere behavior

Billy Russo: It was always the last orgasm that had Billy’s head swimming with pleasure. He took great pride in his ability to cum again and again with little to no rebound time; Billy was a soldier, a Marine, a sniper,so he had incredible control over his body. And yours. The first time he came in the session, Billy came on your stomach, grinning at the sight of his glistening cum on your soft skin. He leaned over, his long fingers stretching over your flesh, spreading his seed over you like a lotion, rubbing himself into your skin. The second time, he came on your ass before quickly flipping you around, sticking his dick in your mouth, and cumming down your throat. The last orgasm he got as you rode him. Billy sat back, dark eyes trained on you as you bounced on top of him. Your breasts were jiggling up and down in a blur of movement, and his hands gripped your thighs hard. He wanted to see his fingerprints on your skin later. You were moaning loudly, so prettily, and Billy arched his hips, groaning when he felt you clench around him in response. He knew what was coming next. He felt the tightness in his balls first, the telltale trigger before he bust. His hands, far from gentle, lifted from your thighs to slap down on your hips as he took control of the pace. Billy enjoyed lifting you up from his dick, leaving the tip in before slamming you back down over and over again until the room was filled with the sounds of your desperate moans, Billy’s deep grunts, and the wet slapping sound of your body on his. His eyes were still open, watching you, even as he felt the shift in his perspective. He was cumming, he was cumming again, inside of you, and fuck, it felt good. “Shit,” he hissed out, his head falling back against the pillows, “shit, fuck….” He felt himself twitch inside of you, still cumming, and he sighed. This was it. This was the best fucking feeling in the world. He watched as his cum started to leak out of you, dripping down onto his cock, still seated inside of you, and he felt his brain go fuzzy with pride. You were his. His. Only he could have you like this, only he could claim you over and over again and again like this, like he’d just done. As you trembled and shook above him, Billy reached out and pulled you down onto his chest, holding you close. You were his. Only his. And he’d be damned if he let anyone take you away.

Logan Delos: Logan would never tire of fucking you. God, it was like every fucking time was the first time. You always surprised him, no matter how well he knew you, no matter how well versed he was in the language of your body, you always found a way to make things new and exciting for him. Logan had you on your knees with his dick in your mouth and his hands on your head, dictating how deep and fast you took him. He liked to change it up, to go from fucking your throat so fast, there were tears in your eyes to slowly pushing his whole cock in your mouth, grinning as you gagged at the thickness. He had started this round talking a lot, telling you how pretty you were and how sweet you looked when you swallowed his cock. He’d made a point to compliment the fullness of your lips as you took in the fullness of his cock down your wet, warm throat, and it was as he was pulling out, playfully slapping your cheek with his drenched cock, that you said the words that took him over the edge. “Fuck Logan,” you gasped, and Logan felt a thrill go down his spine at the brokenness of your voice. He did that. He probably bruised your goddamn throat… “Logan,” you were holding his dick now, kissing it as you spoke, “you can do anything you want to me.” Logan closed his eyes and reminded himself not to cum yet. When he opened them, you were staring up at him with those pretty, innocent eyes. But he knew the truth. “Anything, huh?” He asked, taking hold of your head and pushing it forward, helping you swallow his cock, “So I can fuck your face, sweetheart?” You nodded, and Logan both felt and heard you inhaling through your nose, preparing for him. Fuck, he loved how willing you were. “What if,” he continued, pulling your mouth off of him with a “pop” as he thumbed at your swollen bottom lip, “I wanna put a plug in your ass and fuck your pussy till I’m empty?” “Yes.” He grinned, “You’d let me do that? What if I want to fuck you in the ass?” Your eyes fluttered close, “Yes, Logan, please…” Logan was done for. You were too good, too perfect, he could hardly believe you were real, and you were real.He took hold of his cock and pumped it, pushing it against your open lips. “I want you to swallow,” he said, and you did. You did because you were a good girl, hisgood girl, and Logan wouldn’t have it any other way.

Jax Teller: There were many, many things that Jax loved about you, but it was the way you looked when you took it up the ass that ruined him for other women. There were no other women anymore, just you. And you were more than enough. Jax had you in the classic face down, ass up position; they were throwing a party downstairs, so you didn’t have to worry about keeping it down. No one could hear you two over the music, so Jax was able to indulge in your moans and whimpers and cries, and fuck–you almost sounded as good as you felt. Almost. He had both hands on your hips, pulling you back to him slowly. Jax loved this, loved feeling the way your tight asshole curved around him, loved the breathy cries that came out of your sweet mouth as you rubbed your cheek against the cool sheets, deliciously full. He grunted as he continued pulling you back, grabbing handfuls of the soft, fatty globes of your ass. His rings pushed indents into your skin, and his mouth fell open when he felt himself push in another inch. He liked taking it slow; he had prepped you properly, of course, ate your pussy until you begged him to fuck it, fucked it, made you cum, and then used it for lube as he ate your ass, but he still liked to take his time. Your ass was so tight, and Jax was so big, so the stretch, fuck,the stretch was incredible, it was like nothing he had ever felt before, nothing either of you had felt before. And yet, that was the case every time he fucked you in the ass like this. It was always unbelievably unique, every time. Jax opened his eyes when he finally felt his pelvis bump into your ass; god, he was stuffed inside you so tight, Jax thought he could die then and there happy. It didn’t take long for him to start to move, and then he was fucking your ass, hips slamming into your bouncing ass as you moaned against the bed. Jax could feel his orgasm building, feel the rush in his dick, head, and heart, and he opened his eyes to look at you. His dick was absolutely packed in your ass, and he lifted a hand to smack it down against your asscheek, and then, fuck, you were cumming, and he was cumming, inside of your asshole, spreading your asscheeks so he could get in as far as he could. Jax stayed there, pressed against you, for another minute before he pulled out, chuckling at your whine. He watched his cum drip out of you and onto the bed, leaving a wet puddle beneath you. Smirking, he reached out and smacked your ass again, chuckling again at your gasp. “Jesus Christ, sweetheart,” he leaned down to kiss the center of your back, “I love you…”

Coco Cruz: Coco had never considered himself a morning person until you. He had been an early riser, yes, but not necessarily a morning person. But then he discovered how pliable and sweet and eager to please you were first thing in the morning, and Coco was hooked. He had your head in his lap, sucking his dick as he fingered you lazily. Coco had woken you up with kisses that had turned into you, voice nearly a whisper, soft from sleepiness, saying to him, “Can I taste your dick, baby? Please?” And how could he say no to that? Coco sighed as he watched you; your eyes were closed as you took him in, one hand wrapped around his dick, stroking the length of him while you sucked on the head like a lollipop, and your other hand was cupping his balls, gently but firmly rolling them around in your little hand like you knew he liked. You were always eager to please Coco, but your dedication to the task always seemed different early in the morning. You were more submissive, and god, it drove Coco crazy. He grabbed a handful of your hair, forcing your head up, and he could have cried with the way you looked at him. There was nothing but love and devotion in your pretty eyes. Shameless, Coco dragged you up to him, kissing you deeply. He rolled on top of you, tongue swirling around in your mouth, and mentally wondered how he got so fucking lucky. “You feel so fucking good, huh,” he gasped, grabbing your thigh and lifting it, opening you up for him, “Fucking sucking me so goddamn good. Almost fucking came, baby,” he kissed you again, this time harder, fiercer, humping against you, his dick was hard as a rock and wet with your drool and his precum, and Coco groaned, annoyed, when his dick slipped away from your soaking pussy. “So goddamn wet. Just from sucking dick. Sucia,” he grinned, kissing along your jaw, “Gonna let me cum in you?” “Yes,” you answered, nodding as Coco continued to tease you, “Yes, baby, yes, cum inside me., please, please, please!” Coco didn’t need to be told twice. He slid into you quickly, all the way, and you both gasped as he filled you. Coco had you cumming immediately, and that alone was enough to have his head swirling with emotion. He came too, grunting as he slammed into you two, three, four times as his cock drained itself inside your pulsating walls. He laid on top of you, resting his forehead against yours, and smiled. “Hey,” he whispered, bumping his nose against yours, “I fucking love you, baby. I love you.”

Angel Reyes: Every time he heard the click of the polaroid camera, Angel swore his dick twitched. He could feel the wet spot on his boxers, could feel his dick, hard and leaking, straining against the black cotton. He was aching to touch himself, or more accurately, to have you touch him, but the wait was necessary. Angel sighed, content, as he looked over at you. You were naked, on your back in his bed, legs spread wide, so wide that he could see how wet you were. There were photos littered all over the bed and floor, as well as discarded boxes of film. Angel made sure he didn’t miss a moment. “You are so goddamn perfect,” he sighed out dreamily. “Angel,” you whined, gripping your knees and spreading your legs wider; Angel got the message. He handed you the camera and dove in, his lips wrapping around your swollen clit as he stuck a finger inside of you. You were still so tight; it took a while to get you loose enough for his dick, but Angel didn’t mind. It gave him more time to worship you like you deserve and please you like he needed. You were moaning, both hands in his hair, as Angel ate you out. His dick was weeping pre-cum, and Angel had to hump against the mattress for even a bit of relief as he lapped at your delicious pussy. He heard the camera click above him and grinned; you were taking pictures like the good girl you were. He couldn’t wait to see them later, look back at the images of him touching you, holding you, eating you, and soon–fucking you. He wanted to feel your mouth, but he didn’t have any more patience to wait. Angel made you cum twice with his mouth before he sat up, taking the camera and pointing it downwards, taking a picture of your waiting pussy. He grinned down at you, “Before…” Angel pushed into you, your legs opening up eagerly as you took all of him. Angel loved stretching you out, he loved how your pussy would quiver when he fucked you; you had told him that he was by far the biggest man you’d ever been with, and you hadn’t been lying. Your mouth was open, a deep, wordless moan working its way from your core as you shivered beneath him. Angel took the next picture; a perfect polaroid of his thick, veiny dick inside of you, stretching you open like a pro. It didn’t take long for him to cum, overwhelmed by the intense feeling of joy that came from fucking you. He came a lot, pumping you full before pulling out and releasing the considerable last of his load on your stomach, painting you in his cum. The resulting picture he took stays in the back of his wallet and the front of his memory every single day.

Miguel Galindo: You were intoxicating. You were an addiction. You were perfect and precious and priceless, and you were all his. Miguel was draped on top of you, as close as can be, watching you as you came undone on his cock. He had already made you cum three times already; once on his tongue as you rode his face, then again when he fingered you, and a third time when he turned you around and ate you from behind, leaving a particularly harsh bite on your left ass cheek just because he can. Now he was on you, inside of you, memorizing the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head and how your sweet, plump lips fell open as he rocked against you. Miguel held your hair in his hand, keeping your face towards him, nose to nose with him as you shuddered and sighed underneath his hard, firm body. His other hand was gripping your hip, and every few seconds he would swipe his thumb against your heated skin. God, Miguel could watch you like this for hours. You were so utterly broken, so drunk on him, it made him feel like a fucking king–no, like a god. He was the one who made you feel this way, he was the one who you allowed to see you like this, to feel you like this. He was the one you belonged to. Miguel eyed you softly, even as his dick pounded into you, making you claw at his back in ecstasy. His mouth was only inches from yours, and he leaned in closer, breathing in your desire and swallowing your sweet, breathless moans. “Say my name,” he growled, the hand in your hair going to grip your jaw, gently shaking it so your eyes would open and land on him, “Say my name, mi amor. Tell me how good I make you feel.” You obeyed instantly, as he knew you would, and Miguel closed his eyes as you sang his name, “Oh, Miguel, fuck, fuck Miguel, yes, Miguel–” you were chanting his name now, over and over and over, and oh god, Miguel could feel your pussy clenching around him, and then he was cumming, he was cumming inside of you, hot spurts of cum releasing deep inside of you and raining down your warm walls. The way you said his name had Miguel shaking, it had him weak, it had him desperate. He needed you, he needed to hear you say his name like that for the rest of your lives. Slowly, he kissed you, his tongue moving against yours. He didn’t want to pull out yet. In fact, he wouldn’t. Miguel smiled against your lips; you were still muttering his name as your orgasm subsided, and he was determined to get you screaming it again.

Johnny Tuturro: Johnny could fuck you 100 times a day, and still want more. He had lost count of how long the two of you had been like this, wrapped together, rolling around in bed. It’d been a couple of hours, at least. You swallowed his dick after dinner, underneath the table while Johnny watched until he came. You had licked it up, cleaning him with your tongue, and Johnny had thanked you by picking you up, placing you on the table, and having you for dessert. He’d started with his face between your legs, getting those sharp cheekbones of his wet as he shook his head from side to side, making sure to taste every last bit of you. He had laughed, smacking your thigh, when you came. But he wasn’t done there; Johnny had turned you over, positioning you on the table on your stomach, legs spread, ass up, as he ate you from behind. It wasn’t long before he had been taking his clothes off and pushing into you, making you push up off of the table. Johnny wasn’t sure how long he’d had you on the table, but he didknow that you came twice before he was pulling out, picking you up, and tossing you on the couch. You rode him there, and Johnny had kissed and tweaked at your nipples as you bounced on him, telling you how fucking pretty you were. And God, you were. Your hair was a mess, your lips were swollen from kisses and his dick and from biting–both your bites and his–you were beautiful. He had almost cum on the couch, so he turned you over and had you ride him reverse cowgirl for a while, reaching around to pinch your nipples until he had you squirming on his dick, cumming again. Your legs had turned to jelly then, so Johnny had picked you up and carried you to bed, where he kissed you softly and slowly while he touched you all over. Johnny loved kissing you; he sucked on your tongue as he groped your breast, and all it took was two skilled fingers curling inside of you to have you cumming again. And then he was inside of you again, and he was calling you baby, and you were mewling and gasping and moaning, and Johnny felt your pussy damn near suck him in, and he knew what to do. He took two fingers, the same two that had just made you cum, and strummed them on your clit. He grinned, hips still slamming against yours, as he watched you howl with pleasure. You screamed his name out, and Johnny nearly sobbed when he saw the tears streaming down your cheeks. You were such an angel, you were crying. You were cumming and crying on his dick, and then–oh!You were exploding, suddenly Johnny’s dick and fingers were drenched, the sheets were drenched, and Johnny fell on top of you, toes curling as he emptied himself inside your dripping pussy. Neither of you spoke for a while, you just held each other, and Johnny closed his eyes as he cuddled against your heaving chest. Soon, he would get up and clean you up, take care of you. But for now, he was happy to float in time with you, still inside of you, warm and loved.

Rio: “Fuck,” Rio groaned, his voice deep and low in your ear, “That’s so fucking good, ma.” He was on top of you, hands on your ankles, keeping you wide open for him as he broke you with his dick. Your eyes were closed, Rio knew he had lost you to the ecstasy long ago when he first started working you over. He took his time with you, kissing you deeply while gently caressing your curves, holding you in his lap, both of you fully clothed, for what felt like long, torturously delicious hours before he had slowly started to undress you. Rio treated you like a gift, unwrapping you with great care, those long, talented fingers teasing and pleasing you mercilessly, brushing against you here, rubbing against you there. His kiss had worked its way down from your mouth to your neck and collar as he cupped one of your breasts, and you balanced yourself in his lap, one large hand of his gripping your ass–still covered by your underwear, as he kissed you senseless. Rio could feel you melting against him, could feel you becoming weakened from his touch. Still kissing you, he leaned forward, lowering himself on top of you as you laid on your back. You were naked save for your underwear, and he slid them off of you easily, taking a few extra minutes to finger you, smirking into your mouth as you moaned against him. You were soaking wet, his fingers were coated with your juices, and he knew there was no need for any more foreplay. He had to have you now. And so he took hold of your ankles, spreading your pretty legs wide so that he could look down at the glossy mess that was your pussy, all for him. It was almost enough to make him bust early. Instead, he slid inside of you and dedicated himself to making you as needy for him as he was for you. Rio loved having you like this; he watched your tits bounce as he fucked you, and he could hear the wet, slick sound of him pushing in and out of your pussy with each thrust. You were so wet, so good, Rio cooed when he noticed you trembling. “Oh, yeah, mama, yeah,” he praised, “that’s fucking it. Got your body shakin’ like it’s supposed to,” he leaned down, kissing at the side of your face, releasing his grip on your ankles to hold you close to him. His eyes were glued to you, watching the way you came undone because of him. “Give it to me,” he whispered, his voice nearly hoarse with desire, “Fuck, baby, let me have it–yeah, just like that…” He groaned as he felt your shaking intensify; you were cumming, and he pushed into you deeper, enjoying the way your pussy clamped around him. Rio came with you, a strangled moan erupting from his lips as he burst inside of you, filling you up until he was shaking too. He held you close, lips dropping lazy kisses to your forehead as his eyes fluttered close, “Don’t fucking move,” he said softly, “wanna fall asleep inside of you… I’ll fuck you again in the morning, yeah, champ?”

**********************************************************************

Please let me know which boy was your favorite, if you had a favorite! And come on, which headrush did you like the most? Anyway thanks for reading, I’m gonna run off now and hopefully come back to some comments and maybe even some of you lovingly calling me a bitch/slut ;3

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Inspiration for Logan Delos fic, Let You Know

Let You Know

Logan Delos x Reader

A/N: Inspired by the song Let You Know by Flume ft English Grammar. It does not exactly follow canon as I’d never have ditched his character.

Summary: Logan had decided to remove himself from your life, but now it seems he just can’t get you out of his mind.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral and unprotected, between consenting adults* in some chapters. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please be careful out there.

(My photo edit)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You wanna let me know

Now that you’ve let me go

Life is better still

And I guess somehow

You’ll just keep on coming back

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Juliet’s hand hovered over her phone for a few moments, then she squared her shoulders and picked it up. Logan wouldn’t do it, that was for sure. But she couldn’t watch her beloved (but infuriating) brother suffer in silence any longer. He was four months out of rehab and she was petrified that he’d relapse. If she could just help him along a little bit with this, then she would. She didn’t intend to meddle any further than this phone call, she’d take a step back and it would be up to Logan after that.

She peered out into the garden, a big lawned area with a pool and flowering shrubs running down to the edge of a bluff and with a stunning view out to sea. She was glad Logan still had this place at Malibu. He seemed to relax here. She looked fondly at her brother’s lanky frame sprawled out on the sun lounger, looked back down at the phone and hit a contact number on her speed dial.

It rang for a few moments before it was answered by a woman, her voice saying “Juliet?” with a puzzled tone in it. Juliet took a deep breath and started speaking.

The call ended maybe 10 or so minutes later, and Juliet felt slightly more optimistic. She’d at least elicited a “Maybe” from her. She looked back out to where Logan was now sitting at the end of the lounger, hands dangling between his knees and gazing out at the ocean. She saw a sigh lift his shoulders slightly, and knew he was thinking about the woman she’d just spoken to.

She in turn sighed. I mean, the whole situation was entirely down to him, the stupid big fool, she thought. It was all his own damn fault.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You shut off your phone and placed it thoughtfully on the coffee table.

Well that was unexpected, was the thought which ran through your mind as you looked at the phone lying on the shiny surface. It had been at least two years since you’d had any direct contact with the Delos family. You’d seen various articles on the internet during that time, but you’d made a point of not reading anything except whichever headline had caught your eye in the first place. More recently, you’d seen something on a financial site stating that James had retired and Jules and Logan were in joint charge of Delos Inc. You’d also gleaned enough from the articles to know that Logan had been in rehab, Jules had divorced William who’d been ousted from Delos, and she’d been locked in a battle to secure full custody of her daughter Emily.

You’d let the information fly over your head, as you were still hurting from the breakup with Logan. Maybe breakup wasn’t quite the term to use, but it had felt like it at the time. In your mind you returned to that time….

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d found yourself dating the high-profile playboy millionaire, much to your initial disbelief. You’d met on a corporate investment seminar where Delos had been looking for partners to take Delos Destinations forward, and Logan had pursued you determinedly until you agreed to go to dinner with him. Before you agreed, you’d told him in no uncertain terms that you wouldn’t be sleeping with him as you were well aware of his reputation. A lazy, mischievous smile had played over his lips, “Well, okay then. But if you know my rep, you’ll also know that by taking that stance you’re missing out somewhat.”

You’d laughed out loud and said you’d live with that. His barking laugh had rung out in return and he’d said he still wanted to take you to dinner. So you’d agreed, and you had shared numerous dates over several months with Logan after that. Nothing too serious to your mind as you just didn’t think Logan was a one-woman (or man) guy, so you’d also kept your word and hadn’t slept with him, despite him doing his best to seduce you into his bed. However he’d finally given up trying so hard, and you and he had just had some really enjoyable dates talking about this, that and everything. Just enjoying each others’ company, and eventually starting to share some deeper things with the other.

Then Logan had gone to Westworld on a trip, taking his soon-to-be brother-in-law with him. And promptly disappeared off the radar to all intents and purposes. You’d tried to call him when he should’ve been back some days previously from the trip, but you got no reply to your calls or texts. Just his voicemail. This continued for weeks, and you were left wondering what you’d done to deserve to be ghosted. The silence continued for another few weeks until you happened to see a photo of Logan and a woman arriving at a charity gala in Beverly Hills on a gossip site. “Logan Delos spotted out and about with yet another new woman on his arm!” screeched the headline.

Uhuh. Okay then, you thought, looks like I’ve been well and truly kicked to the curb.

You’d also seen several more stories over the coming weeks, Logan out with different women each time.

You’d firstly felt really hurt and then angry and also jealous, although you weren’t sure you were really in a position to feel that way. After all, you and Logan had been… what? Friends? You couldn’t even attach ‘With Benefits’ to that description, and that had been your choice. You and he had never discussed exactly what your relationship had been, let alone set out parameters for it. No declarations of intent on either side, no promises of exclusivity. But you’d loved spending time with him mainly because you’d got to know the Logan behind the public persona a little more, and you admitted to yourself that you’d maybe have liked it to become something more.

And then he’d ghosted you. So you’d eventually decided to suck it up, chalk it up to experience and get on with your life. You’d locked away the pleasant memories of the time you’d spent with Logan in a box marked “Questionable Decisions” in your head, and just got on with the things in your life that you could control.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

And now this phone call, from Logan’s sister. You tried to figure out how she’d got your number - you’d only met her once when he’d picked you up from work to go for dinner and Juliet had been with him, as she’d hitched a lift downtown. You’d chatted for a few moments before she’d got dropped off, and you’d liked her. Now here she was, calling you out of the blue and asking if you’d be prepared to come over sometime soon and meet up with Logan.

You’d asked her why she was suggesting this, because for the life of you, you couldn’t think why. She’d been quiet for a second, then said hesitantly, “Well… I… uhh, I think there are some things that maybe Logan might want to explain to you.”

You’d replied that you’d give it some thought, and she’d given you his number - a new one - and said that she really did hope you’d give him a call.

Now you were wondering just exactly what Logan might want to explain to you, of all people. Frankly, you were surprised that Logan had even recalled who you were.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

I wanna let you know

Now that you’ve let me go

Life is better still

And I guess somehow

Everyone says you’re coming back

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Juliet made her way down to where Logan sat, still gazing out to sea. She sat on the sunlounger behind him and placed her hand on his back, in between his shoulder blades. He sent her a little smile over his shoulder, and she said quietly, “I called her, Lo.” Now he twisted round to her, “You did what?!” “You heard me. I got her number outta your phone and thankfully she hadn’t changed it. I can’t bear to see you beating yourself up about this… but doing fuck all about it.” He swung back round, looking out on the ocean once more. He said nothing for several moments, then, “What did she say?” Juliet noticed that he couldn’t quite keep a hopeful tone out of his voice.

“She said she’d think it over,” she answered, and heard a small huff from him, “Well you know what that means, don’tcha? It means… no.” She put her hand back on his shoulder, “Now, you don’t know that for sure, do you? I gave her your number.” He shook his head, “Wish you hadn’t done that, Jules. She won’t call.” Now she was irritated, “You keep saying that but you’ll just have to wait and see, won’t you. And you wouldn’t call her so I just thought that I’d fucking do it or else nothing would everhappen!”

He sighed, “I just didn’t think she’d want to hear from me.” Juliet frowned, “Honestly, Lo? After the way you behaved, she probably wouldn’t. But you at least owe her an explanation if nothing else.”

Logan looked at her over his shoulder again, “Yeah. I agree with you on that… I do. If there’s even an outside chance she wants to hear it.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Boy I let you know that you fill me up

So now you try to call me up

Let me know what you’re thinking of

And now these words are all I have

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You were still mulling over whether to call Logan or not a few days later. A text dinged into your phone while you were making tea in your kitchen area, and you made your way to your coffee table to check who it was from. “Unknown Number” said the notification but something made you open it anyway.

Unknown: Hi, this is Logan. Firstly, sorry that Juliet called you the other night. I didn’t ask her to.

You stopped reading right there. So glad I didn’t call him! you thought, infuriated. You were just about to angrily delete it without replying, when you thought you might as well see what else the big douchebag had to say, and started reading the next paragraph.

Logan: But then again I’m glad she did because I’d like to meet up with you to talk, if you’re OK with that. Would you be? Please let me know.

Oh. Okay. It was a strangely sterile message, nothing like the jokey, flirty texts you used to receive from him. You hesitated. Was there really any use reopening old wounds? But you had to admit you were intrigued to know what on earth Logan wanted to say to you.

You: Hi Logan. I’m not sure what you can have to talk to me about but yes, okay I’ll meet you.

Logan: Thanks for agreeing… would you be able to come over to my place? You remember where it is?

You: Yes, I do.

Logan: Great, when would you like to meet up?

You: Saturday lunchtime?

Logan: Fine by me. About 2? See you then.

You closed the message app and shut off your phone. Well, that was a bit odd. It just didn’t sound like the Logan you knew. At all.

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Boy let me know that you’re thinking of

So now you try to call me up

Let me know just what you’re thinking of

And now these words are all I have

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He’d texted you on Tuesday, so now you had three days’ worth of wondering what this was all about. You found it hard to focus on your work, and wished you’d suggested meeting him on Wednesday evening instead. You tried to tell yourself not to be so invested in the situation; you still couldn’t contemplate why Logan was suddenly so keen on speaking to you. Even if he had decided - although god knows what the reason could be - to tell you why you’d been ghosted, what possible outcome could there be? He hadn’t wanted to see you for all this time, so you couldn’t imagine he intended to try and pick up with you where he left off.

And who said you wanted to, anyway? Yeah, he was a very good-looking, entertaining, rich guy - but who said he wouldn’t just drop you on a whim again? No, you didn’t think you fancied going through that again. You let yourself feel a tiny bit of that hurt-anger-jealousy triad you’d experienced at the time. He had upset you, that much was obvious if those feelings were still there, no matter how deeply you’d buried them. No… you weren’t going to go back there again.

The days ticked by, and finally Saturday morning dawned and you got up bright and early. You strolled through to your kitchen to make coffee and toast and as you got there your phone, back in your bedroom, dinged with a text message. Tutting in annoyance, you hurried back through as a little thought entered your head - was this Logan cancelling your meetup? You wouldn’t put it past him, quite frankly.

You’d entered Logan’s number in your Contacts by this time, and you felt your heart sink a little as you saw his name on the screen. You opened his text:

Logan: Morning… you are still coming out here today, aren’t you?

Relieved, you texted a reply that yes, you were still intending to drive out to his place.

Logan: Perfect, I’ll have a glass of wine waiting for you

You: Okay, thanks - see you around two

Putting your phone back on your bedside table, you couldn’t deny you were relieved he hadn’t cancelled but you still felt unsure who you were texting with. This just wasn’t the Logan you knew. Had he changed so much over these past couple of years? You almost felt like he was angry at you or something.

Later on, showered, dressed and prepared to face this seemingly ‘new’ Logan - you got into your little sports convertible and took off in the direction of the Pacific Coast Highway, destination Malibu.

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Logan shut off his phone and tossed it onto his bed. Thank the lord she hadn’t changed her mind, he thought, but I’m also as nervous as hell.

He walked back onto the terrace and regarded the table which he’d laid himself, and fiddled with the cutlery, the glasses, the plates and the bud vase with a single white orchid in it. It didn’t need adjusting, but he had to find something to do with his hands. He’d prepared a big seafood salad, and he was going to grill some fish to follow. She liked this kind of food, he knew, and had decided on the menu as soon as she’d said she’d come to lunch.

Should I say what I need to say over lunch? he pondered. But what if she throws her glass of wine into my face and storms out when she hears what I’ve got to say to her? Or would she be okay with it?

He was veering between being grateful to Juliet and being furious at her for calling this woman, who’d admittedly been inhabiting his dreams for months on end. He knew he needed to clear the air with her but to what end? He felt a cloud of doubts swirling around in his head.

What would he actually achieve by doing this?

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You turned into his drive and parked outside the double garage. Taking a moment, you tried to still the nerves jumping in you at present, but you still felt really apprehensive without being sure of quite why. I mean, it wasn’t going to be anything bad, was it? Was it?

You got out and walked up to the front door but as you raised your hand to knock, it opened and Logan stood before you. Well… at least he looked as nervous as you felt. He looked really good, the lush hair swept back, the dark eyes gazing intently into yours, a black shirt open at the neck, white linen trousers, bare feet. You suddenly became aware you were studying him head to toe and looked back up quickly, face pinking up. You managed to say, “Hi, Logan.”

He smiled at you, “Hi, angel,” he replied, “you look… wonderful.” He swung the door open wider, “Come in and we’ll get lunch.”

You stepped over the threshold, following Logan as he headed for the terrace. You’d only been here a couple of times before, and very briefly - on your way out to lunch or dinner with Logan. You reacquainted yourself with the place as you walked through it - open plan, white, stone and grey decor, very tasteful. You saw a beautifully laid table as you arrived onto the terrace, and realised that you were actually quite hungry.

Logan pulled out one of the chairs for you and you sat down, picking up your napkin and shaking it out. “Be right back,” you heard and turned your head to watch him going to the kitchen area. He returned a few moments later with a large serving dish and a bottle of wine in a cooler. Busying himself with serving up the delicious-looking seafood salad and then pouring wine for each of you, it dawned on you that neither of you had actually said anything to each other yet. Apart from inane smalltalk comments.

Finally he sat down too, and you clinked glasses with Logan before taking a few mouthfuls of the salad. Still nothing was said apart from “This is really good” and “Glad you like it” kind of stuff.

Was Logan ever going to get around to saying what he wanted to say? you wondered, as the meal progressed to the main course, beautifully cooked rainbow trout.

Taking a sip of your wine, you looked at Logan across the table from you, meticulously studying his fish as he separated the meat from the bones.

“So, Logan,” you asked in a measured tone, “what exactly is it that you want to say to me?”

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You won’t see what everyone can

Did I make you feel like less of a man?

I heard you drive past my house again

Over again, over again

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Logan’s stomach dropped. ‘Oh hell… okay, well here goes’ he thought. He sat back from the table a bit, crossing his long legs and trying to relax.

He cleared his throat, “Ah… yes. Well. I… wanted to explain to you what happened when I .. I… uhhh…” She looked straight at him, a little sardonic smile on her lips, “Disappeared on me?” Logan shifted uncomfortably in his seat and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, that.”

She just kept on looking at him, saying nothing more, so he finally said, “I know it wasn’t the best way to go about things, but.. well… something went down in Westworld, something bad. And when I got back, I started spiralling. Really spiralling, and I knew I didn’t want to drag you down with me so I just… disappeared on you, like you said.” She was still staring at him, and eventually she said, “What happened in Westworld, Logan?”

He felt himself smiling, “I knew you’d cut right to the chase, angel.” He sat back, sipping his wine. “I can talk to you about it now, a while back I wouldn’t have been able to.” He sighed, still not entirely comfortable with talking about it.

“In my infinite wisdom, I decided to take William on a pre-wedding visit to the park.” He gave a bitter laugh, “Boy, was that a mistake. Figured I’d loosen the stiff little fucker up a bit. Which I managed to do… to the extent that he decided he’d leave me there to die.”

She looked shocked, “What? What do you mean, Logan?” “We took part in a couple of narratives, I was having a great time, let me tell you. Along the way, one of the hosts - Dolores - managed to capture William’s attention and not in a good way. He became obsessed with her and convinced that she was human, not a host.” He shook his head, “Crazy bastard. Then he jumped me, tied me behind his horse and took us all the way out to the outskirts of the park.”

He watched as her face remained frozen in shock as he recounted the rest of the whole sorry tale, from being left out in the badlands by William to eventually being found by park security. How he’d really thought he was going to die. How he’d spent a couple of weeks in hospital at the Mesa because of the condition he’d been in when they found him. Then he took a deep breath and told her all about his subsequent excesses as he tried to forget about what had happened. The drugs, the booze, the promiscuity. All of it. And the problems with his father and Juliet - how they hadn’t believed him about William and what he’d got up to in the park.

He took a short pause, before continuing, “I knew I was on the way down. Deep down, all the way to the bottom. I knew I’d drag you down with me if I didn’t cut ties - I mean, Jules found me a couple of times, overdosed and half dead - so that’s what I did. Cut ties.”

He couldn’t quite interpret her expression now, some shock still there but also something else. What? Irritation? Disbelief? He wasn’t quite sure. He felt much less anxious now that he’d told her the whole story but he was unsure of her reaction. And not even sure what he expected - or hoped - that to be.

He took a large sip of wine. He’d better let her speak now.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You were aware that you were just staring at Logan. To be honest, you weren’t sure exactly what to say. You were horrified to hear about what William had subjected Logan to and his later downward spiral. You were appreciative of the fact that he’d shared this with you but unsure what he expected from you. What was his motive for telling you this?

The silence stretched on and on, and finally you managed to say, “Well… ummm… I never imagined for one moment that all that had happened to you, Logan. I saw you on some gossip sites out with different women and just assumed that you’d ditched me for a better prospect.” You saw him wince, “No.. no,” he protested, “…I mean yeah I had… but not for that reason. And they were hosts.” You knew you sounded surprised and disbelieving as you replied, “Really? Outside the park?” He nodded, “We were doing a lot more development on them by that time. William even brought Dolores to my father’s retirement party - that’s what sparked the divorce.”

You gawped at him, “You’re joking!” He shook his head, smiling at you, “Nope. I told you the little fucker was obsessed with her. I tried to tell Jules about it when I came out of the park but she wouldn’t believe me, went ahead and married him. Much to her regret.” “You didn’t say ‘I told you so’ to her, did you?” He shook his head, a lock of hair falling over his forehead which he swept back with a hand, “I really wanted to but she was crushed as it was, so no - I didn’t.” “Good,” you said approvingly.

But now you had a couple of things you needed to ask him. Would you get honest answers? You took the plunge, making eye contact with him.

“Why didn’t you just explain it to me, Logan? If you’d wanted space, I’d have given you it.” He shook his head, “I just couldn’t. I knew I was a train wreck and if I’m honest, I was too ashamed. I really enjoyed spending time with you and I didn’t want you to see the state I was in. Or try to talk me out of it, as I knew I was on a ride I couldn’t hit the stop button on.” You were still contemplating him, and knowing Logan as you did, you felt he was being honest. Logan was rarely anything else.

“Okay,” you nodded, “I hear you.” Taking a deep breath, you carried on, “So… what’s the reason behind you telling me all this now?”

Logan looked down at his empty plate, pushing it away from him. “I told you I liked being with you. It was refreshing, I could be myself. No act, no public persona. All this time, I’ve never stopped thinking about you, even when I was in rehab. And I want to have that again.” He looked up, dark eyes wide and gazing into yours, “I missed you so much.”

Your heart felt like it missed a few beats and you opened your mouth to reply, however you didn’t know what to say.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

So now you try to call me up

Let me know just what you’re thinking of

And now these words are all I have

And now these words are all I have

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan watched her struggling to come up with a reply, and felt his heart sink. She obviously didn’t want anything to do with him.

“Is there someone else?” he heard himself blurting out. Ooh, uncool! he thought, but listened eagerly for the reply nevertheless.

She sent him a strange look, “We weren’t dating, Logan… were we?” He heard the querying tone in her voice, but before he could reply she continued, “I mean, we were just hanging out, no? But since you asked, no - I’m not seeing anyone at the moment.”

“Did you see anyone else while we were… out of touch?” Her eyes widened and she raised an eyebrow, and Logan held up his hands, “Sorry, sorry!… none of my business.” She smiled, “No, it isn’t.” “But did you?” he asked again, with the trademark mischievous Logan grin. Now she laughed, “I dated a few guys.” “Were they frogs?” he asked cheekily. “No! Most of them weren’t in actual fact. But no-one I could see myself with long-term.”

There was a small silence, then Logan made himself ask the question he really wanted to.

“Could you see yourself long-term with a recovering addict? Who isn’t always the best at communicating his feelings?”

She laughed again, “And would that be you by any chance?” “Might be,” he grinned. “Logan, what I don’t understand is that we were never officially a couple to begin with. So now… what? You’re saying you want us to be one?”

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He sent you a small, almost-shy smile. “I guess I am.”

“Wow,” you said, “…talk about a bolt from the blue…!” He nodded, “I know. And I’m sorry - I know it must seem a bit strange after all this time. But I mean it, I never stopped thinking about you, I swear. Things were so easy between us and I really missed that. Missed you.”

“But you don’t really seem like the committed relationship type, Logan,” you said, determined to find out how serious he was about all this. He frowned, “Yeah, yeah…I know the press didn’t really make it look like that, did it. I was trying to fill a big void at that point, y’know? And I soon found out all that shit doesn’t work. In any way, shape or form. I think I probably should’ve held onto you with both hands instead of letting you go.”

“But you weren’t going to do anything about it, were you?” You weren’t going to let him off the hook too easily. He laughed, “No, I can’t deny that. If Jules hadn’t called you…. but I just didn’t think you’d want to hear from me again. So I chickened out, yeah. But she knew I was moping around the place because I was missing you, and decided to jump in. And I’m glad she did.” He gave you a beaming smile, “Even if this is all I get, I’m grateful she did.”

You felt that Logan was being sincere. But how did you know he wouldn’t do the same again or if he started going off the rails again?

What should your decision be?

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Driving away from Logan’s place a little later on, you felt satisfied with what you’d eventually said to Logan about the two of you.

That you were happy to get back onto your old footing with him, meeting for lunch or dinner or whatever. Nothing more than that… for now.

Logan had been very pleased indeed - jumping up and grabbing your hand, whirling you round the limited space of the terrace in a crazy tango-like dance before kissing your knuckles lightly and whispering, “Thank you, angel.”

Now, you thought, this is more like the Logan I know.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

And so basically you and Logan picked up from where you’d left off years ago. Meeting up regularly to eat out or go for walks, getting reacquainted. You, sharing what had been going on in your personal and work life; him, filling in some blanks with more details. You made sure it was taken at leisurely pace, Logan keener for more meet-ups however you slowed things down. If Logan suggested meeting up the next day after you’d met for lunch for instance, you would move it out to two or three days later. You got the impression he knew exactly what you were doing, but he took it with good grace.

The first time Logan kissed you, he took you completely by surprise. You’d been walking along the beach together side by side after lunch one day, when you’d spotted a seagull making a kamikaze dive into the ocean after a fish. You’d turned quickly to Logan, “Oh, look!….” you started to say but found yourself being pulled into Logan’s arms and his lips were on yours. That was enough of a surprise - until then, you and Logan had shared hugs and chaste kisses on the cheek, nothing more - but the passion of the kiss really surprised you.

His lips left yours, then they were next to your ear and he whispered, “I want you.” He kissed your ear softly, “So much.” Another kiss, below your ear this time, “Will I ever have you?” You leant your head backwards and looked up at him, “Maybe. Maybe, Logan,” you replied with a shy smile. In truth, he’d caused your legs to go to jelly. He smiled back, “Okay… I guess I’ll have to settle for that right now.”

You knew only too well that you wanted him too, but you were still wary of this whole thing between the two of you. And so things continued as they were, except that you did allow some more intimate kisses than before when you were leaving or he dropped you off. You were in fact quite impressed with how reserved Logan was being, sure that he would’ve been far more forceful in his pre-rehab days.

A couple of months later, Logan called and asked you to dinner at his place, adding tentatively, “You could stay over… if you like…?” You hesitated and then made a decision you hoped you wouldn’t regret. “Okay, Logan… that’d be nice.” You heard a slight intake of breath, then his voice, “Fine… that’s fine. I’ll… ummm… get the guest room made up for you.” You smiled at his attempt not to put pressure on you, “Ah… I don’t think that’ll be necessary, Logan… unless you feel it is, of course?” “Oh, no, no, no..” he replied super quickly, “I… uhhh… yeah, fine, that’s fine. Absolutelyfine!”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan stroked your face, kissing your cheek, your nose, your neck. You opened your eyes and sleepily smiled at him, very happy to be waking up in his bed for the first time.

He’d been like a cat on a hot tin roof the night before at dinner, and of course the elephant in the room was the fact that you’d tacitly agreed to spend the night in his bed. He’d eventually leapt up out of his chair, his long legs carrying him quickly back and forwards along the terrace as he paced in front of you. “Okay… I’m done!” he’d exclaimed, “I gotta ask you something, angel. Guess you know I haven’t thought about anything else tonight except what you said on the phone to me earlier. I gotta know… did you actually mean you’ll sleep with me… or did you mean you’ll have my bed and I’ve gotta sleep in the guest room?!”

You’d laughed out loud, “Oh, Logan… you idiot! Of course I meant I’ll sleep with you!”

Logan’s bright-as-sunshine smile had lit up his face, and he’d swooped down on you as you sat at the table. He’d picked you up out of the chair with the greatest of ease and carried you to his bedroom. He’d stripped off his clothes and stood still for a moment, giving a delighted you your first sight of his lithe, athletic frame, with its light sprinkling of chest and body hair. You admitted to yourself that you’d always wondered what Logan was packing in his trousers, and you were undeniably impressed when he’d unzipped and revealed a very healthy erection. Your reaction must’ve shown on your face, as Logan had virtually preened before smirking at you, “Like what you see, angel?” and advancing purposefully towards you.

However, you’d been gently undressed and he’d proceeded to make love to you in the tenderest way possible, kissing every inch of your skin and whispering that you were his very own heavenly angel as he’d climaxed. Logan had slid himself down your body, his head disappearing between your legs and his extremely talented tongue and fingers had then made sure you had a second stupendous orgasm within moments. He’d pulled you close to him and wrapped you in a loose bear hug, kissing you occasionally and telling you just how damn happy he was right now. You drifted off to sleep in his arms, really quite surprised how gentle and tender Logan had been.

Almost as if he’d read your mind, you heard Logan say in a low voice, “Don’t worry, angel, things will get a little wilder round here as we get to know each other better. Y’know, get more relaxed… get to know what each other really likes?” You laughed, “Okay, Logan. I’ll hold you to that.” You got a trademark wink and a grin, there was a long kiss on your lips and then he was asleep.

Now you looked up into Logan’s sparkling dark eyes, as he smiled and wished you good morning. “Gonna make you some coffee, angel,” he added, folding back the bedcovers and standing up next to the bed. Desperately trying to keep your eyes on his eyes, you watched as he stretched and laughed down at you, “You’re allowed to look now, y’know, angel… touch if you like. Whenever you like!” You felt your face pinking up and your eyes - of their own accord - travelled south before racing back up north, so to speak. Yes, he was proudly sporting a ‘morning glory’ and looking very pleased with himself about it too.

He leant back down and kissed you on the lips, “We’re a couple now. You can’t deny it, angel. So get used to all of this…” he waved a hand around between the two of you, “…cos this it’s how it’s gonna be in future.” “Is it indeed, Mr Delos?” you snarked, and he tipped your chin up for another kiss, smiling at you, nodding his head.

“Yeah. It is, angel.” He smiled and kissed you again, “…thought I’d better let you know.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@obscurilicious@paracosmenthusiast

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