Maddie, a new endeavor

Maddie:finally got the twins to sleep and god these cramps hurt
Heather::( Do you want me to come over?
Maddie:no I’m okay for now
they come and they go, which is better than the first day where it just hurt nonstop for hours
I might be imagining things but I think breastfeeding must be making it worse
so glad they’re asleep
just taking this day by day
I need to start sleeping around again lol
wasn’t that the whole point of getting one of these put in me, so I don’t accidentally get pregnant again when having fun
Heather:loool well I hope you feel better soon so you can get back on that
let me know if you need anything
Maddie:I will, thanks :)

Maddie whimpers and presses the hot water bag tighter to her belly. In fact she would love for Heather to be holding her hand right now, but there’s something she needs to do that she’s been putting off for too long. Rent and tuition are due, not to mention the expenses of having two kids.

The webcam is set up. Her profile is set up. She’s dressed in a tight top and skirt with thigh-high socks. She’s been staring at herself in the webcam for half an hour, hovering her mouse over the “go live” button. She’s all ready except that she feels anything but aroused.

She’d been sexually starved through her pregnancy; none of her old methods worked anymore, but in exchange the explosion of sensations that had assailed her through labor had led to her discovering a new source of pleasure for herself, even if she positively screeched from the pain that accompanied it. But memories of it are distant now; her subsequent efforts to recreate it, though successful initially, have been fading over the subsequent weeks as her vagina healed and moved on from the sensations of that day. That said, her stretching and tearing vagina was hardly her only source of pain that day - now she’s reminded of another layer of that torment as her uterus continues to struggle to adjust to the small piece of copper that’s been newly inserted.

She winces as another cramp makes its presence known. It undeniably reminds her of labor, but she hasn’t been able to connect that to the burning agony and ecstasy of her orgasm. Not yet, at least. She feels like she could bend her arousal in that direction, if she could just imagine harder.

Should she put this off another day? There’s not even any guarantee that anyone will tune in, let alone tip. The idea that this could help support her might all be one very fanciful dream that goes nowhere.

Maddie switches tabs. She needs inspiration. She’s been living off of her own vivid memories up till now, but perhaps witnessing those of someone else will help now.

A hospital room appears on her screen, where a woman is groaning and whimpering while lying on the hospital bed. Maddie grips her own belly, feeling the very familiar and distinctive reminder of the sensation that she knows that woman is enduring.

Maddie skips ahead in the video and the woman is now in stirrups, straining. Her hair is disheveled and face read and sweaty; she groans and yells as she pushes forward, stirrups visibly shaking with her effort.

Maddie’s hand creeps up her skirt as she can feel an odd sensation in her own vagina, knowing exactly what that woman is feeling. But of course Maddie’s managed to feel more than just agony at that. Now she remembers.

Her belly cramps again and she moans, but with something more than just the pain she’s been enduring. It’s reminding her of that day more and more clearly now.

But best not get ahead of herself. She pauses the video. She skips back to the beginning. The woman is smiling and laughing as she makes preparations to enter the hospital. Much like Maddie herself, with excitement to see her babies and visions of the epidural before things got too intense. She wonders if this woman is planning for a natural birth or had one forced on her like Maddie did. She wonders, somewhat more fancifully, if the woman might be feeling anything similar to what Maddie did when she birthed.

She can feel dampness beginning in her vagina now. She pauses for now. She switches back to her previous tab. She pauses for another moment. She makes sure that her earphones are on and the viewers can’t hear or see what she’s watching. She clicks. She’s live.

Maddie, preventative measures

Maddie thumps her feet idly against the exam table as she sits waiting for the doctor. A sheet covers her legs while her panties and jeans are on the chair in the corner of the exam room, with her pink panties sitting conspicuously visible on top of her jeans.

Why do her exposed pink panties suddenly irk her? The doctor’s going to see a lot more of her very shortly. Unhelpfully, she suddenly realizes that she’s inadvertently matched her panties and her pink socks. Innocuous in itself but she can’t help but feel the coincidence accentuating both.

She winces. Her stitched vagina is mostly healed, but she’s undoubtedly slowed the process by answering her newfound arousal far earlier than was appropriate. She reaches under the sheet and gingerly touches. Unwillingly she imagines the speculum stretching her open. She curls and uncurls her toes.

Memories of her screaming and shrieking through the agony of birthing her twins live still fresh in her memory, but so does the most intense orgasm she can remember ever having in her life that accompanied the process. Just to attempt to relive that, she knows she wants to one day go through the whole process again.

But not now. Paying for school had been difficult enough before having twins. Now a single mom of two, the last thing she can afford is more. She hates the thought of taking active measures to prevent pregnancy while pining for it. But she has to be prudent.

The IUD in its packaging as well as the tools for the procedure are laid out on a tray beside her. Just waiting now for the doctor to come and use them on her.

***

“You’ll feel some pressure now.”

Maddie’s hands tighten, folded across her chest. She breathes deeply as the speculum enters her vagina. She closes her eyes, an action that quickly turns into a wince as the speculum opens a bit more quickly and forcefully than she’d anticipated. Her sensitive vagina suddenly burns as it stretches.

Her cervix is no better as it stings from whatever is scraping against it. She curls her toes in the stirrups. She continues breathing deeply.

“A small pinch.”

The doctor proceeds before Maddie can prepare herself. Sharp pain pierces into her cervix and her belly cramps intensely in response. Tears immediately spring to her eyes and she shouts in pain. Her previously folded hands grab at the sides of the exam table.

The shock of this dual-pronged pain lingers for a few more seconds before it subsides somewhat. Where has she felt this before? Oh yes, early labor felt quite similar before it escalated beyond all imagination.

“A bit of a cramp as I use this tool to measure your uterus.”

Maddie tenses involuntarily as she expects another immediate wave of pain but this one takes a few seconds longer. With time to properly brace herself, she can only unpleasantly imagine and anticipate. Now she’s torn on what she would prefer. She glances to the side, where she can still see her panties in full view atop her jeans. How she longs for them now.

A much more intense cramp courses through her and she whimpers, gripping the table harder with both hands while her feet pull up at the ankles. Tears begin to leak out. She remembers the nurses coaching her to breathe. She remembers desperately trying to obey. She tries to do the same now, steady breaths to get through this eerily familiar pain. She breathes as this wave of pain recedes.

“Almost done. One more cramp, just like last time.”

Just like last time. New tears well up in anticipation. She keeps her grip on the exam table tight even as this pain fades for now. She relaxes her feet and wiggles her toes. Just one more to get through. She breathes. Slow, steady breaths.

A flash of piercing pain shoots through her cervix and her uterus twists like a vise in response, cramps pounding into her. She shouts twice in succession before she clenches her jaw and whimpers. Her toes first curl upwards and then downwards. Tears are flowing freely from her squeezed shut eyes.

She almost wants to push, like she had in the stirrups while trying desperately to crown her two boys while contractions ripped through her. But there’s no pressure compelling her to do so, no sign of the final stretching that led to that moment of climax, memories of which so captivate her. This pain reminds her of nothing but the hours of helpless agony where all she could do was wait.

“And we’re done. Just going to get all of this equipment out of you. You did so well.”

Maddie remembers the nurses and doctor reassuring her she was doing well, while she wailed and shouted and screamed. She lets out a whine as the pain lingers before beginning to recede. She releases her grip and finds her hands sweaty. She reaches up and wipes her eyes, still breathing down the pain.

It’s the prudent thing to do, she tells herself again. That agony turned ecstasy of her vagina stretching isn’t going to be something she can attempt to recreate for a while now that she’s gotten this procedure done. But one day she’ll have the opportunity to try and do it all again.

***

Maddie: taking an Uber back. how are the boys? can you stay with me for a little while after I get back? this wasn’t fun and i’m not feeling great.

Heather: of course! so sorry to hear it was rough. the boys are asleep, miraculously.

***

Maddie lies on her couch, a heating pad pressed to her lower belly. Her jeans are tossed on the floor beside her and a blanket covers her from the waist down to her ankles, while her feet in their pink socks poke out the end. Her classmate kneels beside her, holding her hand.

“Thanks so much for babysitting. And for this.”

“Don’t mention it! I can’t imagine how overwhelming all this must be right now.”

“I can’t believe I planned to go to class this afternoon.” Maddie grimaces in pain.

Heather laughs ruefully. “I can skip it too and stay with you?”

“No, we’ve missed too much as it is. Can you show me your notes later?”

“Sure thing.” Heather strokes Maddie’s hair and squeezes her hand. Maddie grins weakly at her friend. Heather’s own smile is soothing. What difference a comforting hand to hold would’ve made when Maddie was birthing her twins.

***

Heather reluctantly leaves for class, and Maddie secretly and silently stares after her, admiring her figure.

Maddie, a curious feeling

“Just a quick exam to make sure everything’s doing okay.”

Maddie knows this position too well, legs open for the doctor who is donning gloves. From gynecologist visits to prenatal visits to excruciating cervix checks in labor to this, a postpartum exam. All her naive fantasies to tough through a natural birth followed by those plans shattering into desperate begging for an epidural had led to her completely neglecting to learn about the discomforts of the recovery process. She’s now very unwillingly about to experience this unexpected revelation.

Relax, Maddie. Surely this can’t be as bad as everything she’d just gone through in delivering twins. She wiggles her toes as the doctor reaches in.

She shouts and arches her back as the doctor’s fingers probe open her raw and tender slit, sending shooting, burning pain lancing from her vagina up to her cervix.

The doctor probes farther upward to her cervix and she curls her toes tight as she barely stifles a sob into a desperate whimper. Tears fall from the corners of her eyes.

The doctor pulls his fingers out. Maddie relaxes but keeps her eyes shut, regaining her breath and moaning a few times. Even through the pain, though, she feels the unmistakable wetness of the beginnings of arousal.

“Everything feels okay. Don’t engage in sexual activity for at least four weeks and after you’ve had a follow-up appointment.”

Even as she nods innocently, Maddie’s hand is already creeping back towards her stinging vagina as the doctor leaves.

Bewilderment at her newfound source of pleasure does not dampen her enthusiasm as she begins to answer her arousal again, biting her lip, eyes watering through the renewed burning pain. She’s experienced something that overwhelmed, overpowered her far more than any past experience ever could, forcing her to submit herself and her desperation to the mercy of a doctor who must hurt her to end her anguish. To be so thoroughly consumed by first the primal agonies from her own body and then by the merciless torments inflicted by the doctor, she’s never endured anything like it before.

She jams her own fingers deep inside of her, sending a shock of white-hot pain lancing through her. She bites down on her own hand with a scream stifled into a whimper as tears burst from her eyes. She curls her toes and begins to slide in and out.

It only takes a few seconds before the intense burning dissolves into equally intense ecstasy; she squeals as she gushes from her vagina.