#mastertrainerprimer
Master Trainer Primer, has now been relocated to https://mastertrainerprimer.bdsmlr.com/ thanks to the hard wok of ( https://knotafraydsub.bdsmlr.com/ )
My tumblr blog will stay online for now… but any new content will only be available from my BDSMLR blog.
Keep a training menu like this (or print this one as a reference). At the end of each training session make a decision about what you will focus on in the next training session. That way you have time to formulate ideas and make plans ahead of time. Customize your training menu to include any areas that you feel need regular attention. NOTE: Always get consent before training a sub in any particular area, if they have concerns about an area of training you may need to talk them about it first.
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Adult Baby / Diaper Lover is a classification of “submissive”. It is popular within both straight and gay Dom/sub circles. However it does require a Dom that enjoys interacting with his/her subs affectionately. It is suitable to incorporate elements of humiliation, obedience and chastity within this type of relationship. And I highly recommend using “mode switching” as a method of switching your baby between different age brackets. (this allows for a variation of age play interactions without having to revert to “real age” in between). It also allows the Dom to signal a “break” from AB/DL by switching their baby into their “real age”.
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MASTER TRAINER PRIMER - INDEX
(Index updated 2016-12-11)
Introduction to MTP
MTP Mission StatementESSENTIAL SKILLS
Indicators
Mode Switching
Continual Improvement
Pleasure Skills
Waiting
QualitiesGENERAL EDUCATION
Age/Size/Strength
Begging for Beginners
Being Authentic
Boot Worship Explained(popular)
Caining / Lashes
Care Work
Chastity Explained(VERY POPULAR)
Chastity Testing - the milk and measure technique(popular)
Chastity via over-stimulation
Cleanliness and Body Odour
Command Chaining
Conflicting Instructions
Daily Grind(popular)
Dealing with a cashed-up-sub
Dealing with a no-show
Dominance and Anger
Dominant Language(popular)
Dom Personality Profiles Part 1
Dom Personality Profiles Part 2
Dom / Switch / Sub Nature
Doms need love too
Drinking Piss Explained(VERY POPULAR)
Drilling
Elaboration
Electro Stimulation Explained
Erotic Humiliation Explained
Faggot vs Slave(popular)
Fisting Explained
Foot worship explained
Good reasons to serve more regularly
Healthy Subbing
How to avoid Dom Fatigue
Improve your sub-talk
Introducing your slave to your mum !
I don’t understand why someone would want to submit ?
I Want My Boyfriend To Be My Owner(popular)
Learn Not to Suck at Sucking Cock !(VERY POPULAR)
Limit Bending
Limits Training
Limits Training Explained(popular)
Marking your Property Incrementally
Mastering Humans
Masters Etiquette
Milling
No Time for Training
Painless Bottoming (popular)
Pleasing vs Submitting(popular)
Psychology of BDSM - Chastity(popular)
Psychology of Bondage - Father Son
Psychology of BDSM - The Giver
Punishment Explained(popular)
Puppy Play Explained
Raceplay
Ritual Behaviours
Self-Talk and Guided Self-Talk
Setting Time Limits for Online Slaves
Skull-fucking Explained(popular)
Slave etiquette(popular)
Slave Selection
Tanking
Tethered vs Owned
Training Menu
Tell Don’t Ask !(popular)
The Dangers of Being a Faggot
The Popularity of Puppy Play
The Sub-Master
Using Objects as Avatars(popular)
Verbal Prostration
Video and Photography
Why all the rough stuff ?EXERCISES
Obedience Exercise
Edging(VERY POPULAR)
Clenching(VERY POPULAR)
First Lesson Plan(popular)
Flexing Cock(popular)
Light Touch
Obedience Training - Lesson PlanCHARTS / REFERENCE
Basic Hand signals(popular)
Basic Hand signals - numbers(popular)
Compatibility Chart
Dominance Chart(popular)
Human Pup Training Guide(VERY POPULAR)
SMS Training(popular)
Subservience Chart(VERY POPULAR)
WEBCAM Training(popular)(Index updated 2016-12-11)
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A golden rule of Dominance, NEVER Dom when angry, upset or with poor mental health. On the same note, if your mental health is negatively affected or judgement impaired by alcohol or drugs, you should also avoid Domming under the influence of those substances. Your sub deserves to know your judgment is not impaired when you are working with him.
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In my 20 years of BDSM I have always been a switch, enjoying both the dom and sub roles. Even being given high praise for both my sub and dom skills. Which side I focused on has always swung back and forth. For most of the time, especially in my early years, I focused being a sub. The past three years I have focused on being a dom especially as a lifestyle choice.
I can say with confidence that I am a good sub. The big challenge I had, in being a good sub, was getting past my fears of losing control. Looking back it was terrifying. I know now there is nothing to be afraid of. Losing control meant gaining my freedom, freedom to finally be myself to serve another. Being a sub is easy for me. If Sir gives me an order, I follow an order. I let my Sir make the decisions so I can focus on obeying him. Its just that simple and rewarding.
But being a dom is hard for me. I like being a dom, I’m even told I am a very good dom, but its been a learning process. I constantly struggle with balancing respecting a sub and taking control of him. When is it safe to push the boy harder? When do I need to pull back and cuddle him? When do put my hand around his neck and tell him, “you’re doing this now!”? When does he simply need a friend by his side?
I make an effort to talk to other doms and get their ideas and feedback. I talk to other boys and slaves. I have meet some great people who have given me great advice. But still I struggle. Will what they say be the right solution for me, sometimes the advice I get sounds too harsh? I am my own person, I have my own style of being a Sir. Being a sadist is not for me, constantly punishing a boy is not for me, keeping a boy at an arms length emotional distance is not for me.
For me, a boy/Sir relationship comes down to honesty, respect, and trust. We each take care of each other, but in very different ways. As I tell my boy, I’ll take care of the big problems, you focus on the small ones.
Sometimes I feel selfish giving boys certain orders, “massage my feet,” “worship my cock,” or even “refill my coffee.” Is the boy really happy following these orders? Is this really what he wants to be doing? The ironic part is, as a sub I loved following orders for my Sir, it was so fulfilling to me. Yet as a Sir, I question these same orders. Its all so confusing at times.
Perhaps though, I am a good dom. And perhaps the reason I’m a good dom is, I’m constantly questioning myself, forcing myself to be an even better dom.
It sounds like you are an awesome dom. For the majority of people, a healthy relation is not simple or easy. It requires regular examination of the relationship and of the needs and desires for all. To not question is to not grow and to not adjust as others and the world change around you.
Orders, punishment, support and cuddling are all important for a healthy relationship. Knowing which to use when can be the tricky part.
I love reading about other SWITCHes and how they learn to deal with their duality… Take note that as a SWITCH your percentages can be quite variable… eg. 60% Dom, 40% sub… and this percentage can change overtime … My advice for any SWITCH is to learn to focus on your current “mode”. Nothing brings you out of sub-headspace quicker than a Dominant hormone release. Submissive mode releases a different set of hormones creating a different experience. Give yourself permission to let go of the “other” mode so you can fully engage in your current mode. I find that if I allow myself to go fully sub I actually loose contact with my Dom knowledge-base during that time. What you described above about being in Dom mode and not being able to “relate” to the subs desire to serve…. is a similar experience… While in 100% Dom mode you loose contact with your submissive knowledge-base. Its completely ok even though it can be a little un-nerving to embrace this… It just takes a bit of getting used to… Understanding that it is normal helps a lot !
happy SWITCHING mate… !
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I didn’t intend to post this for Thanksgiving– as it is something that has been on my mind for some time– but I’m as keen on apropos serendipity as anyone.
Gratitude is important to everyone. It’s important to both train your sub to serve you unconditionally, as well as to thank him for that service. As an alpha, gratitude to a sub doesn’t devalue you, or the spirit of the service. All it does is let the sub know he’s done a good job and inspire him to work hard for the next “thank you”.
I work attentively to let my subs know how thankful I am for them and their service. I want them to know I appreciate their presence in my life, and I express it in a multitude of ways.
If you serve someone that isn’t thankful for the service, how does that make you feel? Does it inspire you to work harder next time? Or does it feel like you’ll never be good enough to please your Alpha?
I get the fantasy of being used as a tool or object or sub-human. It can seem great to just be taken and thrown away. It’s not sustainable, and you can’t build much trust and confidence that way.
Your subs are people. Treat them well, and they’ll be fiercely loyal.
Hi@maxtem19 FYI your voice makes me melt…. ! Soo good. Great video post, 100% agree.
Of course I wanted to throw my (value added) 2c in …. I’ve discovered that I feel better as a Dom when I “avoid” the actual words “thank you” and instead provide a description of why I am appreciative. “Thank you” is heavily used in equality relationships, and has a tendency to bring a sub out of submissive mind-set. As you said if a sub has finished scrubbing the floor, showing appreciation is actually quite important. Rather than saying “thankyou” I instead show appreciation in a more detailed way. eg. “ boi come here… (boi kneeling Dom hand on head), the floor looks spectacularly clean, I expected nothing less from you, I am completely satisfied with your work today. Now run off and have a rest.” This conveys significantly more appreciation as it details the actual behaviors that are appreciated and level of satisfaction that I experience, while keeping him completely in submissive mind-state the whole time.
A sub can sometimes feel very “uncomfortable” receiving praise, especially if they feel “elevated” in status by it, or if it reveals their Dom to be “too soft”, ie taking the polish off of his shine…. I get around this by avoiding traditional “equality” language like “please and thank you”. But replace it with a Dominant substitution, with enough detail that he understands the behaviors I most favor & that shows appropriate respect for a sub while keeping him in his mind-state.
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Be mindful of how your behaviors affect the well-being of your sub. Humans learn best through repetition… and they also derive comfort from consistent behaviors and routine. Allow yourself to form rituals that create a sense of connection, comfort and masculine bond between yourself and your subs. Ensure that while it is you that creates this ritual, it is also you who guides him to become conditioned to these rituals such that he will desire them and miss them terribly when you are not there to participate in them.
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Always set a time limit for tasks that you assign to an online slave… He needs to know he has a deadline to work to. If not then his life will always take precedence over his assignments. Ensure you keep his assignments achievable within his available time and within his skills/capability. Tasks should always be “safe” and “legal” in their country/district, be challenging enough to keep him stimulated and ideally provide you with entertainment or “image/video content” for your own use.
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Master Trainer Primer is a place to “cherry pick” what you want to learn about Dom/sub relationships… It is provided to help develop greater insight into different disciplines, develop an appreciation for skills and techniques and to provide inspiration for direction of your training relationships. Keep it in your mind as a place to visit on a regular basis to enhance your “continual development” goals.
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When a sub makes a serious error in judgement, eg. disobeying a direct instruction. It can damage the trust relationship… As a Dom you are required to “guide them” on how they can “repair” that “trust relationship” within a means that is both “achievable” for them, and satisfying to you. As a Dom ensure that you direct the begging such that it is very enjoyable & satisfying to you. Begging can also be used by a sub to “earn” a favor or to convince their Dom to let them do something they are not normally allowed to do. In all cases the sub should be instructed on how they can request or schedule a begging session in advance. Some common examples of begging for favor, include “being let out of chastity”, “being allowed to cum”, “going to a concert”, “playing computer games”, “specific sex acts”, “use of favorite costume or toys” etc…
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