#me crying

breakingisabella:

breakingisabella:

breakingisabella:

• okay but what if the cullens had never come back after new moon
  
• hear me out 
  
• bella stays in forks, first because she hopes they’ll come back, but after about five years she’s built a life for herself there and just doesn’t have a desire to leave
• slowly she goes back to normal
• charlie is thrilled just to have her there 
• she decides against going to college knowing her parents can’t really afford it
• decides to put her love of literature into building the bookstore she had wanted in forks when she first moved there
• she and jake are great pals and he gets over his crush when he realises she’s not interested in him that way 
• he gets married and has a bunch of kids 
• he helps her fix up the bookshop and even helps her curate a collection of books about native american legends 
• she is an active participant in her friends lives and is godmother to half of forks’ next generation
• when she’s in her sixties, grey hair tied back in a ponytail and faded flannel shirt she’s counting the register in the book shop
• the bell above the door chimes and she looks up expecting it to be jake’s eldest daughter arriving to pick up a stack of novels bella’s put aside for her english class
• but it’s not justine 
• it’shim
• edward. as flawlessly seventeen as he was when she first saw him fifty years earlier
• all of the memories and emotions flood into her head, but the ache in her chest doesn’t fire up in the way she had feared it would if this had ever happened
• she musters a smile
• “sorry. we’re closed.”

• you guys seemed to like this post so i thought i’d add to it a little more
  
• so some of the other things about bella’s post-new-moon-no-cullen life
  
• she really puts charlie first (bc he is the hero of the series we don’t deserve)
  
• they do a lot together and are known by everyone in forks and recognised as being a great father/daughter duo
  
• it’s the life charlie always dreamed he would have with her 
  
• she volunteers at police dept bake sales and fundraisers 
  
• drops by sandwiches and stuff to the station when he’s working late
  
• but likewise when she first opened the bookstore and was pulling long shifts to try and make her dream work out charlie would bring her food or send one of the local kids to deliver it to her
  
• when charlie retired he took up a kind of park ranger role in the local woods, leading hikes and teaching the grade school kids about the dangers and beauties of nature
  
• bella would go with him on these hikes, especially when he took the kids out and they all adored her
  
• she impressed him with her knowledge of the woods
  
• she knew the paths so well she almost never tripped over the uneven roots anymore
  
• she showed him the meadow
  
• the only other person she ever took there was jake and his kids but everyone was under strict instructions to keep it a secret so that it never got too crowded 
  
• she was finally able to go there without it hurting and once again she could enjoy the beauty of it
  
• that doesn’t mean she never thought of edward or the cullens
  
• at first she worried maybe she had dreamt them up, they had really made it so that it would be as though they had never existed 
  
• but she was able to cling to her memories so tightly in the beginning that they became permanently embedded in her mind and she could get on with her life and only visit these memories when she really felt that she needed to
  
• on more than one occasion charlie would catch her staring at nothing and would worry for a second, but she always snapped out of it and kept going with her life which was a great relief to him
  
• guys she was just happy
  
• her life wasn’t particularly special or extraordinary - it was miles away from what it would have been if edward had come back for her
  
• but it was happy and full
  
• and in a lot of ways she was grateful that she was able to live it on her terms
  
• she stills thinks of them sometimes
• carlisle; when she has to drive jake’s middle son to the emergency room again 
• esme; when she’s surrounded by her godchildren and her heart feels so full
• alice; when she gets de ja vu
• jasper; when she gets a paper cut (she’s not proud of this one)
• emmett; whenever her truck makes a weird noise or breaks down again just for jake to promise he can fix it again
• rosalie; when she holds a newborn baby and wonders if maybe she chose the wrong path
• andedward; whenever she think about being in love

• I CAN’T STOP AND I’M SO SORRY 
• so the door bell chimes and he walks in
  
• “sorry we’re closed” bella quips, smirking
  
• edward’s taken aback for a second
  
• he wasn’t sure what to expect, he hadn’t know how either of them would react to seeing each other again
  
• but after a second he regains his cool and smiles back at her
  
• “i can see what. just a moment of your time?”
  
• “if i let you in, i have to let everyone in.”
  
• “the parking lot’s empty.” he promises please?”
  
• she nods and closes the register, leaning on the counter, “looking for anything in particular?”
  
• “just browsing.”
  
• “what brings you to forks? let me guess, just passing through?”
  
• “not quite…” suddenly he’s tired of the flirtatious game. “bella…”
  
• “you don’t need to be. sorry, that is. you were right to do it.”
  
• “i was?”
  
• bella nods, and is surprised by how strongly she believes that she tells him next 
  
• “it was for the best. losing you hurt like hell, and i wouldn’t do it again for a million dollars. but i did it, i’m stronger for it and i’ve had a wonderful life. a wonderful, human life. a life that i love and a life that is really full. once upon a time i dreamed of a different life, but this is the one i’ve got and i’m grateful for it.”
  
• he smirks, “it’s funny. i said the same thing to carlisle a few years ago.”
  
• “you should be grateful for him at the very least. for all of them. are they…”
  
• “they’re well. they miss you.”
  
• “even after all this time?”
  
• “barely a moment to them.”
  
• “right, of course.”
  
• “bella i haven’t come back to bring anything back up, or to reignite anything…”
  
• “why would you? then she winks and tosses her grey ponytail over her shoulder. “i’m an old lady now.”
  
• he rolls his eyes at her. “bella swan you are as beautiful now as you were the first day i laid eyes on you fifty years ago.”
  
• “bet you wish the years had been as kind to you,” she teases, “hey vampire boy?”
  
• “absolutely.”
  
• “sorry… you were saying?”
  
• “i didn’t come back with any expectations. i did, once, about twelve years ago. i just thought i’d check in and see if you were okay, if you were as happy as you deserved to be. and when i saw the life you had built for yourself… bella, i was so proud of you. and actually, i was proud that i was strong enough to leave you be so that you could do it.”
  
• “you were in forks?” she can barely breathe.
  
• edward nods. “i was here, but only for a few minutes. just to catch a glimpse. you were laughing with charlie, one of jacob’s many children on your hip, angela weber’s daughter tugging on the leg of your jeans. you looked magnificent. you sparkled.”
  
• “smooth joke.”
  
• “thank you.” he smiles to himself and then asks seriously, “are you still as happy?”
  
• “yes.” she answers truthfully. “being without charlie is tough, but i’ve got a lot of support and he had a good life so…”
  
• “and everything else?”
  
• bella shrugs. “as perfect as a human life can be.”
  
• “then i should go… i won’t disturb you again bella, i promise.”
  
• “can i ask you one thing… before you walk out of my life forever and i convince myself that i dreamt this whole meeting?”
  
• “anything.”
  
• “what would you have done? if i hadn’t of been happy the last time. would you have-…”
  
• “i don’t know. i didn’t know then and i still don’t… it was a spur of the moment thing. a flash of insanity.”
  
• she smiles at him and pushes herself away from the counter with the intention of finally finishing up and going home for the evening, “maybe it’s for the best if we don’t rely on what-ifs to get us through the day.”
  
• “agreed… bella, there is just one last thing.”
  
• “hmm?”
  
• “will you look out of the window for a moment?”
  
• she furrows her brow in confusion, but ultimately rolls her eyes and walks over to the door and peeks out through the window
  
• she tries not to breathe in his scent and she’s amazed that she’s even able to stand this close to him without the hole in her chest threatening to burst open again
  
• her eyes fall on the line of cars and a grin splits onto her face
  
• “i thought you said the parking lot was empty!”
  
• “well… you can’t trust vampires. you should know that by now.”
  
• laughing, bella wrenches open to door and runs out into the night and within a second is enveloped by the hard, familiar arms of the rest of the cullen family
  

Y/N to her dad.

Benton+tears