#me myself and i

I skimmed an introduction to Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card, where he says a bunch of cool things about the often very personal and diverse responses to the themes and characters in his book. He talks about the much discussed truth in fandom that the reason stories stick with us is ultimately because they’re *about* us, and the story is only truly created in the interplay or with the collaboration of the writer and the reader. That’s such a big truth, and it was cool to see an official writer’s perspective rather than a reader’s response, for once. He was so warmly insightful on the subject that I was strongly tempted to actually read the book(s), enough to put it on my to-read list, even though I’ve heard lots of things that make me think I’ll be disappointed eventually, especially reading as an adult who’s seen the stuff he’d said about queer people. But that’s neither here nor there. My point is, stories are always most meaningful when they’re *your* story.

Consequently, the simple truth is, I don’t need to have a ‘good enough’ excuse for why I can’t get myself to give things like reverse harem romance or threesomes in fanfic a chance. And conversely, I should stop beating my head against the wall of other people’s inevitably diverse reactions, even if they share some broad opinion (such as generally rejecting any reverse harem storylines). Their lives are different. They are different. Their book experience is never going to be the same, no matter how many starting point opinions we share.

This is, of course, the opposite of fannishness, so maybe that’s why it’s so hard for me to accept. Fandom says the things we like in stories can be shared, not just among friends, but broad swathes of people. Orson Scott Card wasn’t talking about anything so large-scale, though. At most, he was saying a group of people with a shared real life experience– specifically, being a military rescue pilot– has a common approach to and interest in his book. That’s not the same as simply happening to share an interest or framework, is it? It’s not simply that there are these fans, all of whom like to focus on the military aspect of Ender’s Game. It’s not about reading preference. Hell, I’d bet many of these people don’t even like reading, particularly. It’s about identity: their identity, Ender’s identity, and the places they intersect.

It’s funny, because while I can easily take Ender’s Game itself seriously, a part of me has a hard time treating something as pulpy as reverse harem romance sci-fi the same way. Plenty of people treat all science fiction as not being 'real’ literature. But from all accounts, it’s simply written better than your average pulpy sci-fi romance. This difference in quality is distracting. It’s also hard to talk about identity and deeper meaning with stuff that’s much, much more escapist and unrealistic than even something like Ender’s Game. But the fact is, who you are as the reader is the constant. It applies to every single piece of fiction, no matter how badly written or ridiculous. Someone who’s pragmatic by nature and focused on their job as their source of identity would need books that reflect something of their real life experiences to be truly meaningful. And then there are people (like me and maybe even many reverse harem fans) that can relate to all sorts of things that have nothing to do with their real life experience, because their identity isn’t necessarily tied into their work or everyday environment. Maybe it’s their gender/orientation or their creative interest or hobby that provides their identity. Those things can get pretty far transformed and still retain their basic nature.

Anyway, the fact is that I relate most strongly to my ideals and values as the source of identity. It’s a no-brainer that anything that goes against my central values in the romantic sphere would be dead on arrival as far as romantic fiction goes. It would mean a story that says nothing to me. Other people may share my values (as in, one is more than enough in relationships), but their source of identity and connection may lie elsewhere in a given story. That’s all that would take for a potentially significantly altered personal reaction to the storyline. For me, of course, the value question would instinctively overrule any other concern, but that’s me. There are as many possibilities for readings as there are readers, and sometimes we just aren’t ready or it’s too late for a particular book to matter. Every story has its place and time, as well as its ideal reader. It’s really amazing, actually, that I still enjoy and relate to as many characters and stories as I do. That’s definitely something I count as a blessing.